7/5/05

Today i ate 3 Rottiboy bun. I'm crazy over it now. Taste so good, so crunchy, so coffee haha.

I completed devil may cry 2 Disc 1. Can't be bothered with disk 2. Quite boring.

Band. Someone just have to use words to poke me from behind. The words from that mouth, even though not directed to me specifically, are just so linked to me. Can't stand it. That person is so many years older than me but just behaves like a child. If that person wants to play softer, he can just go ahead and play soft and stop giving unnecessary comments that has zero musical sense at all. "oh I must baaaaalance with the other people" "I'm opening my eeeeears to listen across to other people".

I just wonder when can Singapore band members understand about the group concept in music playing, and also the real meaning of musical expression placed on scores. Group concept.... Any section is only as strong as the weakest link. Even though you might be a great player, but other people are not, then performing at an unnecessarily high level just makes you sticking out. When Forte is written on the score, does it mean loud for the whole band or loud for that individual player? If you are a musician, think.

Musical expressions... It is no longer the loud, soft, forced attacker, marcato, sfz. It should be in terms of intensity, mood, flavour, texture, and feel. When performing a crescendo, it does not mean playing loud, it may represent an intense feeling, anger, a slight push, etc. Also, when one plays loud, the tone colour should be taken note. Does that crescendo need a broader sound, or does it need a piercing sound. Some people just don't think and keep on piercing and piercing and piercing.

Actually, I have nothing against that person, just that he could opening complain about our section, then of course i couldn't sit there and stay quiet. I don't joke in Westwind. When I go there, I'm in for a serious stuff. Anyone who tries to try their luck on me, gets it back heavy and tough. Even though that person might have so many Diploma for performance, failing to have a humble heart, group concept, musical sense, on going desire for improvement, learning from others including those he might thought to be lousier, is a sin. How many certificate holders are not performing to their standard. How wasteful.

I for one, have just a stupid grade 5 theory from ABRSM. I have never failed to want to learn. Even from my teacher, who i always thought that his conducting needs improvement, I've always learn something from him. I don't shun his ideas away immediately. And true, I learnt.

Today is another day that I minus points from my perception of Westwinds. I can't stand being in a place where people keeps aiming at me. Thats why I awalys say i cannot survive in a corporate world. If things carry on like this, I'm saying goodbye to Westwinds. I cannot concentrate on music if someone keeps poking me with words. Either he shuts up or I leave, period.