12/7/05

The 12th of July marks the day where I performed on an international stage with Westwinds in the 12th WASBE conference held in Singapore. This conference allows people in Singapore to interact with bandmembers of other countries as well as broaden our horizon of band music. SIngapore has long sticked to the loud and wacking style, its time we hear how a band sounds like an Orchestra.

The performance today is really nerve wrecking. The rehearsal on stage was already a terrifying time for me, needless to say how the actual performance affected my composure. I am a person that is not suitable for important roles, such as solo playing or individual performance on stage. My heart beats like hell and I can't regulate my breathing. During the rehearsal, I've mispitched on places where I have never made during the normal practice. Ridiculous isn't it? It just show how much pressure the atmosphere can be felt.

Although the hall wasn't quite filled up, I have told myself that I must not make any major mistake. It is to be answerable to my heart and answerable to the recording. As i've said, I'm going to buy the recording of the concert and it cause $25. I don't think I wanna get that CD to remind me of any sad memories.

Ah... the most important duet in my life, just for 4 bars with the soloist Adam Frey. I didn't not mispitch at the 2 instances. Although my heart nearly popped out during those few bars, but I was able to get rid of all the negative thoughts and anxiety in my mind. It works. Don't think so much, just breathe and go. No mispitch! But during the second instant, I thought my high A and his high A didn't kinda blend so well. Out of tune... most prob its my problem.

Through this concert, I have achieved another level of music playing. I am able to pitch high notes with a firmer and more secure embourchure. This will allow me to further my high ranges in the future. I'm sure this is the kind of high pitch sound i like. But then again, how long will I be playing my eupho? I believe its not long.

The concert ended in a peaceful manner, with no regrets or disappointments... thats for me. I believe the band sounded quite crap ha but i don't care. Tuning was off sometimes. Entry of notes were off sometimes. Togetherness was not there sometimes. The colour of the tone was quite off sometimes. What can I say?? We sounded like a Singapore band haha. Nothing bad abt it I think.

In the evening, I attended the concert performance by a German Band. Its called JungeBlaserPhilharmonieNRW (translate to The Young People's Symphonic Band of North Rhine-Westphalia). The performers are of age 14 to 28. Guess what..... all of them are winners of the biggest German youth competition. That competition is for soloists! SO all of them are great soloists. To get into this band, the award winners will be allowed audition. They will only play with the band if they pass that audition. Sounds real tough.

I've heard before that German bands sound alot like orchestra. Today is the day that I hear it with my own ears. The tranquility of chords, the thick texture in sound, the colour of winds blending with brasses, with the light percussion adding on to the feel like stars in the dark blue sky. Ensemble playing.... Bravo. Soloistic playing you ask? Remember they are all winners of a soloists competition? Beautiful expression of feelings and mood. Its really the OMG. Pro is Pro, cannot bluff. When would Singapore have this kind of soloistic competition? Can i try? even though i can't handle the stage very well. hahaa I just go and mess up bah. Gotta try everything during my young age (am i still young?)

Well, Standing ovation throughout at the end of that concert. The kind of sound control and tone I like. I want to fly to Germany for another German band concert!! In the future. ha

Slice of life

Improving Communication With Your Partner

Consistent, healthy communication is vital for your relationships. It's like the heart in the human body. It's easy to see why really - if you don't talk about your feelings, how will your partner know how you feel? And if your partner doesn't know, how can he or she react properly?

There are some things to note for healthy communication though; some couples seem to communicate often but it doesn't help the relationship because they're just venting and not listening. Or they're presuming too much, or taking things too personally.

Start by learning to listen. Now, some people seem to do that, but what they're really doing is waiting for their chance to cut in and defend themselves. They often sit while the other person is talking, waiting for a space to jump into the conversation to defend their actions, explain themselves, or explode in anger.

What you should do is listen actively and emphatically to your partner. Watch the facial expressions, the body language. Learn to listen to more than just the words since we often can't express what we're really trying to say in words alone.

Also, don't assume that you understand what your partner is trying to say. Ask for clarification. Sometimes, it can seem as though your partner is being sarcastic or insulting, or making a cruel joke about you, but you're basically just being over-sensitive. If you're not sure, ask. Very often, you'll find that you were off the mark completely. And trust your partner's clarification. If you can't trust your partner, then the relationship is doomed anyway.

Also, words have different meanings for different people. Some people say "interesting" when they mean "I think it's awful but I don't want to hurt your feelings". Learn to remember how your partner uses certain words or tones and what he or she is trying to convey. Take the time to study what he or she means by saying certain things. This will make your sharing experience much more pleasant.

There are certain topics that may trigger a fight-or-flight reaction. Sometimes in sharing you might bring up topics or feelings that scare your partner and put them into a flight situation where they close-up and avoid sharing or it might be something that touches a painful memory and they get into a defensive mode. Being aware of these triggers helps you learn how to either carefully back off or gently probe for answers.

Yes, healthy communication is tough, but if you're serious about making your relationship work, few things are more important.