12/3/06

Concert performance. A time of excitment and anxiety. The pre-concert period gave me the butterflies in my tummy. The waiting and worrying and thinking about the shaping of phrases, notes, and tone quality of sound. Well, I shouldn't worry about tone cuz I'm know to have monstrous tone haaa. Fun.

A full house concert. Even those who are not known to attend out concert attended. So many familiar faces, so many expectations. Those who knew me, knew my standard. Those know hear me before, conduct me before previously, had expectations. There is a standard to uphold, a reputation to carry forward. Throughout the pieces, I kept on thinking:" is this going to be the end of my reputation if I blew up this part, that part, or those parts?"

No, I didn't. I'm so proud of Westwinds today. I can feel the organ sound. I myself didn't blew up.... or perhaps blew up but can't be heard obviously. No one knew I mispitched, except for myself haa. Well, I'm getting skillful in hiding my inadequacies. haaa.

Well, if there is god (sorry i'm not a christian), then I would say that god treated me well. First, the concert was fun, and I didn't mess up anything. My lips stamina got better this time because I found out whats wrong with my Euphonium 2 weeks before concert and made corrections to it every practice. Second thing is about the tickets. Remember that I was so upset about not having tickets for my frineds? I overheard that someone got "put aeroplane" and had 5 tickets on hand. I was so near them and I quickly voiced out that I needed those tickets. "YES!" I said. I managed to got hold of my friends for 3 of the tickets. BUt my the other friend disappeared (who wanted 2 tickets). I am so happy. Everything went out smoothly for me again. Something is not quite right. Something seems to be helping me everytime things isn't going quite nicely.

Oh guess what. I saw someone. I didn't expect her to turn up for concert. Its really nice to receive the gift eh. The chilli padi knows how to sew nice things heee. To be frank, I was thinking whether she would appear like the last concert and pass me the sewing. Well, I guess it happened. My intuition is A-O-super! Ha. Train yourself up, I'll be waiting for the day when you are ready for westwinds (not in terms of skills. The Mental readiness to commit and practice hard is the key). Don't worry about the skills. Its the attitude that matters. I was joking when I say memorise the 12 major scales. I was also joking when I said that to join Westwinds, the trombone player must be able to play soft. You memorise after you join. Cuz, I don't think alot of people in any bands in singapore can play 12 scales accurately, except for those who do exams for instruments. Thankz... chilli (if you don't like this nickname, I can give you another one. *_*), I appreciate it. And yes, Westwinds (perhaps should say I) need eupho players! I'm tired of playing so loud all the time. Let me know when you are ready. Anytime. And, I like to look nerd because I am one. haaaa.

Sigh, back to school days again. The unforgiving place of knowledge transfer. The relentless mental torture realm. The place of you-die-or-I-die. The place of building habits of I-poke-your-back-you-poke-my-back. Projects, presentations, participations, looking steady and zai (is it that important to look zai? And is academically clever means that the person is super? Where is Gardner's theory of multiple intelligence?), looking knowledgeable and eloquent. Place of masks. Bloody hell. 2 more months, I'm out of that emotionless place. The only emotion there is..... "Damn, I flung my presentation/exam/quiz"