1/8/05

It is the time where I say.... I am 23. When you start thinking back, you will realise that there are so many things that you could have done, and so many things that you should not have done. Time flows without stopping, nothing can stop it. One blink on the eye, 1 second passes. The next thing you know it, its 23 years living in this world. The world, beautiful, cruel, sweet, venomous, lively, tragic..... and many more. Although I am still in the early ages, I am starting to think and vision myself in the future. My mental age is 40 plus. How long more to go? what do I want to achieve? What can I do? Where can I go? So many questions. Walk a step a day and you will end up somewhere. Yup, thats how.

Today's lesson... tiring. My eyes black black. THe apprentice yesterday made me sleep at 11.30pm. I can't stand it hha. I was surprised and delighted to receive wishes from friends. First thing in the morning, I was blessed with 3 msgs on my handphone. One of whom that I didn't really expect. Didn't think that you still remember me. Wanted to send a msg over when it was your birthday but didn't. Not that I forgotten but.... ha nevermind that. There is really quite alot of linkages between many things. And sometimes you'll wonder if those coincidental things mean anything. From dreams, to the songs i'm listening lately, and past incidents. I don't know ha. I always think too much

Another friend, who seems to have been.... a bit wierd (I know I shouldn't say it this way but I don't know how to put it in another way)? Or perhaps i'm the wierd one. I always read wrong signals. Its due to information asynmmetry (accounting theory) ha. Perhaps, I would still think of it as a friend thingy as we have agreed earlier on, unless new circumstances has arose. Well, not to worry, the scale still rests on the correct side. I'll fix my unbalance mind soon.

Well, lately I thought my mind have settled into a peace and tranquility state. But sometimes it just wonders off and enters into a dreamy state again. Tries so hard to control it actually. I guess its what we call " we are all human beings". No normal human beings can reach a state of tranquility and sustain it over a long period of duration. We are a reactive being where new thoughts, feelings, behavior change through time. Being in a tranquility state would be known as a "zombotic" state.

Why am I talking so much rubbish again? ha it just signifies that I'm unbalance again. And talking about scale being unbalance, I'm getting fat eating so much these 2 days!! I need to exercise, which is what I'm going to do now!! Jog for 3.2km!!