27/8/05

"I couldn't take additional weight" is what I told my friend. I just couldn't take more things on top of my school work. I would gladly contribute to the band as a musician. Taking part in the administrative things... I couldn't. I weigh how much i value my time and the drive for recognition and performance, and I found that I have lost what I had in the past. I don't know why i rejected. Its a good chance that I can add more beautiful stuffs into my resume, but I just have bad feelings haha. I was contributing to my previous band few years back but it went burst. Bad memories.

I wanted to msg that friend," I am happy that people voted for me but my passion to serve isn't there. I believe you wouldn't want a person who doesn't have the heart to serve to be inside. I'm also sorry for being so blunt just now." I didn't msg. Someone in the past told me I mustn't be too nice. Always making other people happy would be equals to making myself suffer. I'm still very reserve regarding this idea but sometimes, i just have to use it.