23/8/05

I got another wierd dream yesterday. I dreamt that one of my close friend snatch my bag. Took away everything and threatened me not to fight back. He was armed with a short knife. I couldn't bear to see my bag leaving me. I fought. Holding his hand far away with my hand. His knife, so threatening, so dangerous. I could feel my strength being drained away. Unable to hold back his hands, he slashed me from my right chest down to my thigh. The pain went straight to my heart. I could feel it in my sleep. I bled, I cursed. He told me not to follow him, and he walked away.

I was so devastated. All my studying documents was inside the bag. I couldn't prove myself to be an ntu student. I went to one of my teacher, still bleeding, and told her what happened, and asked her for help. In the end, she said that she needed to type a letter for me to tell the officials. Guess what, I was still bleeding when I looked at her typing. Dumb.

That friend, was an unexpected one. Would I be a bastard in the future that one would hate me to the core? This friend is not from ntu and I am suppose to be very good friend with him. This is really worrying. Worry.

Anyway, I went to the hosting company for one of my projects to interview the ordering process manager. Of course, I was not the one doing most of the talking. My leader did, but things didn't seems very organised. Anyway, my leader didn't make full use of our expertise. My ability to organise things was not used. In the end, I thought we portrait a bad image for that manager. Anyway that manager is so young loh. From this experience, I know that theres alot of organization out there, not doing enough to maintain effective operation excellance. Just don't let me be a head of this kind of company, I'll do revamp of the whole company. Just wait.

For me, I believe in emphasizing on the human aspect in any company. They are the ones doing the operations. If they know the expectation, the mission, the direction, then they can put in their effort in the right place to help the company. Everything can be done if employees cooperate. For all things mentioned in an organization excellance, they all linked to employees. However, I will be emphasizing on Workfare, not welfare. As mentioned my our Prime Minister, only those who wants to work and help the company will get rewards. Don't expect others to do more things for you.

Slice of Life

Communication To Avert

ConflictCommunication is essential for a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, to work. Without effective communication and conflict management, two people who have the best intentions for each other may still end up emotionally distant.

There was a story about a couple who was filing a divorce. The man filing the divorce told the lawyer that he just hated the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for him. In response, the wife said that she only prepared the meal because she thought it was her husband's favourite. Truth was, she hated doing it because it was so difficult to prepare! She endured the inconvenience out of love for her husband. It only came to such an ugly outcome because neither of them took the initiative to speak their minds.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints and criticisms to themselves? It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings?

You can start by substituting negative statements with positive ones. For example, instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Allow me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning. Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:

"You're right, although..." "Great suggestion, however..." "I agree with your opinion, however..." "I would feel the same way if I were you, although..." "I understand your situation, however?" Reassure your counterpart that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.
Communication is a gift. Learn to use it wisely for the health of your relationships.