13/3/06

Eiyo what the heck presentation it is today. The tutor shoot question again that stumps me. Its not a difficult one!!! But donno why I just think so much. Eiyo options then options lah, don't exercise the options early cuz you can wait. If share price goes up, no diff in exercising it today or later in the future (ignoring time value of money?). Like that loh!! Ahhhhhhh. why I so cock haa.

Anyway its over. My 308 no more funny things, only have exams. Somehow, I'm not putting alot of effort into this module. Alot of this very muddy in my head loh. How? Help.

And SURPRISE!! "304 essay to be handed up next wed". Omg. I found out only today!! 1 week to complete a project? Thats like, never happened before. So this is the new challenge for me. Nvm loh, next wed 304, next friday FYP, next friday NUS band concert! Whats up sia. Yesterday i was still saying that everything seems smooth for me. I guess something wants to test my abilities right. Lets see what will happen to me in a few days time.

Slice of Life

Resolving Conflict Without Communication

Communication problems has been cited as the Number One cause of marriages breaking up - lack of communication, ineffective communication, talking but not being able to see eye to eye or come to a compromise.

The problem is, very often, two people simply cannot see things the same way. No matter how long they talk and how hard they try, neither ends up feeling really heard and understood.

What often happens when they "communicate" is that each person tries to get the other person to see things his or her way. Instead of solving the problem, each is trying to have control over how the other person sees things. This often leads to more conflict and frustration.

There is however, a way of resolving conflict that doesn't involve words or communication. You can take action on your own.

What do I mean? Doesn't a couple need to work through a problem together? Well, yes, but not all the time.

You see, sometimes, you can choose to be compassionate toward yourself and your partner rather than choosing to judge yourself or your partner. Choosing to compassionately care about yourself and your partner can totally change the energy between you, even without words. Understand and accept that each of you has very good reasons for your feelings, behaviour, and point of view.

You can also try to say nothing rather than behaving in an inflammatory way toward your partner. A wise man knows when to shut up. Let go of having to be right! It's not a contest, it's not a war. You're talking about the love of your life here. If you look back, you will see that no one wins when both people are trying to control with anger, blame, explanations, debating, defending, lectures, or compliance. However, if you choose to walk away, walk away with love and compassion - intent on taking loving care of yourself rather than punishing your partner. Walking away in anger is just another way to control.

And choose to accept that you have no control over your partner's feelings and behavior, but that you have total control over your own actions. Trying to change your partner is sure to bring you a nervous breakdown. Changing yourself moves you into personal power. Take loving action on your own behalf. Loving actions are actions that support your own highest good without harming your partner.

Sometimes, it's better not to talk, and step out of the fray with compassion.