29/5/06

Just a few more weeks left before going out to work! I need to enjoy every sec, every minute, every hour, every day of my life. Yes! I have something to look forward to everyday! Its the 6pm show. Korean shows!! Yeah my favourite! Things are really getting heated up in that show!

But to all, mark my words. There can never be real love that is everlasting. Humans are not natural lovers, even science proved it. Only dramas can be so sweet and nice. To re-live the feeling of love, just watch more Korean shows!!

In reality, couples are just always taking each other for granted, quarrelling, shouting here and there. Divorce rates in Singapore rising, with females initiators increasing. We see people chopping people up here and there. The big psychological difference between guys and girls, how long can they still live together. Or that the human instinct of keeping humanity alive keeps them together.

IF, we are allowed to reproduce artificially, would males and females still get married? Better off to stay individual? Perhaps then, males will get to extend their lives by 5 years (science says that males live shorter than females). Females could perhaps get their gender equality (work more instead of staying home). Would the general economy be more efficient that way? (The value of Housewife work is not counted in GDP)

Oh no! I'm returning back to my old self. Yes i am. Cuz I just hate seeing people quarrel. Someone taught me how to fight back, to reject, and to disagree with people. Big skills i learnt. And I'm fighting back, in a subtle way, towards the fake happiness of marriage. Does marriage give happiness or doom? Can love really last? Is liking a person = loving a person?

Questions and questions and more questions.

Oh ya, back to the drama again. I like that rich guy's style. Haa, only rich guys can be so macho right? And if you girls are thinking "how i wish i can find someone like that", then please be disappointed. You know the answer. Yes that guy is rich and super nice. Try finding one loh.

And to the guys who think that the girls are nice (perhaps in future episodes), sorry, can't find also, cuz its drama. Everything is just so nicely patched up. Dream on. haa.

I'm remaining my happy self. Period.

COMMUNICATE DAMN IT!! (see below)

Slice of life

Improving Communication With Your Partner

Consistent, healthy communication is vital for your relationships. It's like the heart in the human body. It's easy to see why really - if you don't talk about your feelings, how will your partner know how you feel? And if your partner doesn't know, how can he or she react properly?

There are some things to note for healthy communication though; some couples seem to communicate often but it doesn't help the relationship because they're just venting and not listening. Or they're presuming too much, or taking things too personally.

Start by learning to listen. Now, some people seem to do that, but what they're really doing is waiting for their chance to cut in and defend themselves. They often sit while the other person is talking, waiting for a space to jump into the conversation to defend their actions, explain themselves, or explode in anger.

What you should do is listen actively and emphatically to your partner. Watch the facial expressions, the body language. Learn to listen to more than just the words since we often can't express what we're really trying to say in words alone.

Also, don't assume that you understand what your partner is trying to say. Ask for clarification. Sometimes, it can seem as though your partner is being sarcastic or insulting, or making a cruel joke about you, but you're basically just being over-sensitive. If you're not sure, ask. Very often, you'll find that you were off the mark completely. And trust your partner's clarification. If you can't trust your partner, then the relationship is doomed anyway.

Also, words have different meanings for different people. Some people say "interesting" when they mean "I think it's awful but I don't want to hurt your feelings". Learn to remember how your partner uses certain words or tones and what he or she is trying to convey. Take the time to study what he or she means by saying certain things. This will make your sharing experience much more pleasant.

There are certain topics that may trigger a fight-or-flight reaction. Sometimes in sharing you might bring up topics or feelings that scare your partner and put them into a flight situation where they close-up and avoid sharing or it might be something that touches a painful memory and they get into a defensive mode. Being aware of these triggers helps you learn how to either carefully back off or gently probe for answers.

Yes, healthy communication is tough, but if you're serious about making your relationship work, few things are more important.