16/03/05

Where days seems brighter,
where the sun seems stronger,
days of happiness is nowhere to be found
Nonetheless, I'm glad I'm not so down.

Ever pursuing, ever striving,
all I want to seek, is unknown to me.
No directions, no aims.
What I can do is to travel along the threads of life,
wavering and uncertain.

A day comes, a day goes.
Today's experience is tomorrow's history.
Memories are created every second.
Be it good memories, or bad memories,
all are history.
However, future is uncertain, unpredictable.
Do we depend on memories or future?
Till this day, its hard to decide.

So, today went out great, except I was teased by the Primary school collegues and children for dressing so formally for the band session. Haha. I've got a presentation to do, what to do? But it was damn hot for me.

The presentation went out just fine for me, as I was prepared to read off my notes haha. I tried to maintain eye contact but I just couldn't tell myself not to look at my notes. It was just so insecure. One thing is that my memory is sooooo bad, so I couldn't memorise the whole speech. I'm not a good presenter hee.

Things are starting to look more pleasant to me as work are being settled one by one. It is always not good to be soooo gunho in every group project. Sometimes, I would behave like I'm a free rider in a group and let my group mates do the bulk of the things. Anyway, if i believe that my group mates can do a better job than me, why not, let them lead it.

Actually, through this semester's new groups, I have seen more people and see how they actually response to suggestions and critism. I've come to understand about myself too. I'm really bad in handling criticisms. I always think that they are targeting me. Also, when I'm giving suggestions, I would like people to listen and concentrate on listening to me instead of multitasking. Thats some wierd findings haha.

So i proposed to myself," stop being so sensitive, criticisms are good for the project as a whole. Since you are not doing a good job, then let them talk." Hmm how hard could that be? And I believe that the real world would be more cruel than my classmates. How nice right (sacasism).

Slice of Life

The Magical Mustard Seed

If you've ever lost a loved one, you would know that the emotional pain involved is one of the hardest to bear. It is critical for us to learn how to deal with the sorrow of a loved one's passing, because every one of us is bound to experience it at some point in our lives.

There is an old Chinese tale about a woman whose only son died. In her grief, she went to a holy man and said, "What prayers, what magical incantations do you have to bring my son back to life?"

Instead of sending her away or reasoning with her, he said to her, "Fetch me a mustard seed from a home that has never known sorrow. We will use it to drive the sorrow out of your life." The woman went off at once in search of that magical mustard seed.

She came first to a splendid mansion, knocked at the door, and said, "I am looking for a home that has never known sorrow. Is this such a place? It is very important to me."

They told her, "You've certainly come to the wrong place," and began to describe all the tragic things that recently had befallen them.

The woman said to herself, "Who is better able to help these poor, unfortunate people than I, who has had misfortune of my own?" She stayed to comfort them, then went on in search of a home that had never known sorrow. But wherever she turned, in hovels and in other places, she found one tale after another of sadness and misfortune. She became so involved in ministering to other people's grief that ultimately she forgot about her quest for the magical mustard seed, never realizing that it had, in fact, driven the sorrow out of her life.

When we're reeling from the shock of losing a loved one, we invariably dwell on the loss we have to grapple with. The focus is what we've lost. What we'll never be able to see again. This inevitably makes us feel even sorrier for ourselves. This forces the grief to concentrate and possibly bury us.

In order to help the sorrow dissipate, consider helping others. They might be trying to get over a similar loss. They might be poor, old or destitute. Or they might be physically or mentally challenged. Charity heals the soul, and it will quite possibly also help ease your sorrow.