18/03/05

Ah, today I want to talk about something thats unusual. Its about watches.

Have anyone wonder what watches do to you? Yes it tells time. But has anyone wonder whether it has any psychological effect on the wearer? Let me present my point of view.

Watches has become an essential for everyone. Without it, people has difficulties keeping time. And no one likes to be late, or perhaps I don't like to be late. Today, I've forgotten to bring my watch out with me, and to my surprise, it has created such a big impact on how i've behaved during the day. It has implications on stress, mood, and concentration level.

Recall when is the last time you panicked because you failed to board a bus and would probably be late? The watch would serve its function at this point to tell you to walk faster, or even run. The needle on the watch actually adds on to anxiety. The look on the watch actually makes your heart pump faster, and makes you perspire even more.

Come to think of it, since you have missed that bus, could you have done anything to quicken the travelling process? While you are on the next bus, would you have try another way to get to the destination faster? The answer is, it doesn't help. If you have decided that you will take bus to reach the destination, looking at the watch doesn't help you go faster. The way to handle the situation is actually to move as fast as possible. The speed of moving as fast as possible doesn't depend on the amount of time remaining on your watch. Therefore, the watch doesn't serve the purpose in helping, it only "kills" you.

For those people who are studying, how many times do you look at your watch? 1? 2? or 10? How do you feel whenever you look at your watch? Some people might go," argh still 1 hr left" or others," yes! 5 more minutes". Actually, will the time go faster when you look at the watch? Perhaps you might argue using the theory of relativity. Its only a psychological effect. The reality doesn't change. 1 sec still equals to 1 sec. Consider the case of a unhappy expectation on the time remaining. You'd sulk, swear, curse. The effect on those actions= unable to concentrate, sleepy, low morale. Whats the use of the watch when you are studying?

From the above situations, you can see that wearing a watch does makes you feel differently with things. I'm not saying ," throw away your watches, its no use." I'm just suggesting for people to put away their watches when they need to concentrate on things. They should not use the watch when they have no control over time. A little suggestion is to use the Handphone time as a watch. Why that?

Handphones are usually placed inside pockets, or pouches. The ease of taking them out to view is lesser than having a watch on the wrist. When you have the urge of looking at the time, you would first look at your wrist. Taking the handphone out would be a secondary consideration. You might not even want to take it out because its just troublesome.

The advantages of not having the watches on the wrist can prove to be great. First, less anxiety when faced with uncontrolable events that relates to time. Second, you would concentrate more on listening to the lecturer or teacher during lesson time. Thirdly, You might even live longer because there are less stress out there. How many people have heard that Singapore is a very stressful society? Deadlines are everywhere. Maybe you might be dead before you know it. *Choi!*

Thats about it for today. A day without watch really makes my day brighter. I wonder if it works for you.

Slice of Life

Attracting Healthy Relationships

Someone once said that in order to love fully, you have to risk having your heart broken.

Too many people in infatuations, romantic relationships and marriages make the mistake of withholding love. Most of our relationships have boundaries. We use them for protection. We've been hurt before, and we're afraid of becoming too intimate with someone lest we get hurt again. As a result, there is mistrust, we play mind games, withhold who we truly are, and refuse to cede our power and pride.

Trust takes a while to develop. The problem is when someone is never able to be completely open and honest. In order to have an intimate relationship with anyone, we must first love and trust ourselves. If we are untrustworthy, we probably will not be able to trust anyone else. The problem is often not the other person. The problem is when we make unsound choices based on our insecurities and fears.

It's good for us to be able to see our own areas that need improving. However, it is distorted to believe ourselves to be unlovable. No matter who we are or what we've done, what we choose to do with our lives is a matter of free will. We can, at any time, change our thinking and immediately begin changing our experience. That is, if we prefer to grow rather than wallow in self pity. Until we can truly accept and love ourselves exactly as we are, close, loving relationships will be hard to come by. Instead, we'll find ourselves dogged by unhealthy, secretive and selfish relationships.

If we can resign ourselves to be in that perfect place of love, where we are giving, loving, and trustworthy for others, people will come into our experience. Some will be healthy for us and others will be draining. To attract those who will resonate with us, we can simply speak softly our highest truth and stand quietly in our integrity. Those who cannot bear the light will slip back into the shadows.

It is often easier to love those we haven't met than those we face daily! Potential partners are always more attractive and interesting in our imagination and in their distance. We always want what we do not have. When we do have it and the illusion falls away, we find that we are unable to deal with the reality, and begin to hanker after another false image. If we would be loved, we must be loving.

If we can look beyond the humanness of another - that is, the weakness and fallibility of being human - then we can see the beauty within. It's that beauty that we fall in love with. That grows ever more lovely even as age creases the skin, loosens the muscles and greys the hair. Love is an infinite commodity. You can't give it away without creating more. You attract into your life that which you are. To find the right person, be the right person.