24/5/05

The whole day at school teaching band. Got damn angry with some kids because they disappeared after me giving them a 10 mins break. They came back like 20mins later. My face just turn so black. But I didn't scold them. I just kept quiet and look at them, for 5 mins. They keep on still joking, and laughing. I was trying the "silent killer" method to "scold" them. Save my voice you know? But then I kept on wanting to laugh too when they laughed. Cuz when kids laugh, you want to laugh with them. They just got this cheeky laughing voice hee.

Today, my teacher told me more and more about what he learnt from other conductors (friends) and also the speciality of those conductors. Its kinda interesting listening to him. And he also told me lots of things regarding the mindset of accepting new ideas. He said," absorb here and there and then combine to come out with different thinking that can be used at different occasion." hee its great idea.

How did that come about? Its because Mr Ong was telling me about playing a low note inside a trombone. He said," you don't need that much air to produce a low note. The resistence inside the instrument will provide you with a force that can combine the amount of air you are using to produce the low sound. Originally if you use that amt of air with the mouth piece, you can't produce a sound, but with the instrument, you can."

I couldn't accept that actually, cuz my buzzing doesn't depend alot on the resistence of the instrument. I can buzz low notes even without the mouthpiece. Its not that i'm good, its just that i use alot of energy. He is telling me that i can use lesser energy to produce a note haha. Thats quite useful.

Ah i go watch concert on tv now!! haha another day!

Slice of life

Expressing Your Expectations

Let's be honest - we all have our own expectations of our relationships, of our partners. Some of us demand less, but we all require certain events to happen and conditions to be met before we consider the relationship viable or worth maintaining.

Now this is not an unreasonable thing. We all have needs and it's our relationships that fulfill some of these needs - like the need for a supportive voice in tough times, the need for a hand to hold on a drafty early morning walk, the need for someone to kiss us even when we look like the back of a truck at the end of a grueling day.

The problem is some of us often don't make these needs known to our partner, and when he or she fails to meet these expectations, we begin to doubt the value of the relationship. It sounds silly but some of us expect our partners to already know. Now that's an unreasonable demand - to expect our partners to know our expectations. No matter how close two people get, no two human beings behave or think in the same way. Very often, your perceptions of what is good or bad in a relationship will differ radically from your partner's views.

So how are you managing your expectations in your relationship? Do you find that your partner's intentions often elude you? Do you question if he or she truly cares for you? Do you find yourself getting into regular arguments because your partner didn't do something you expected a partner would do? Like calling you at least once a day to ask how you are? Like remembering your birthday? Or like giving you a massage after you hinted that your shoulders are aching?

These expectations are reasonable and simple enough to you. But how would you partner know if you don't say anything? Expecting our partner to guess the response we're after is unfair. Loving you doesn't make someone magically psychic.

So express your expectations. Discuss them with your partner. But your expectations should not be unrealistic that nobody can consistently achieve them. Expectations that are too low can also invite a below-average result. And expectations should be positive. They should nurture the relationship. They should encourage the cultivation of joyful, loving and success-achieving qualities in both parties.

So the next time your partner seems to be reacting in a detached or unfeeling way, don't presume, don't jump to conclusions. Talk about your needs and ask him or her to let you know their desires as well.