17/5/05

For the past few days, I couldn't sleep like I used to. I just don't know why dreams just go round and round in circle. Everytime, the same dream just hang at one place and I'll turn and flip to get rid of it off my mind. Then after a while, the same scene comes up. And, I'll flip and turn to get rid of it. And the cycle goes on and on. Its a terrible feeling. Something is wrong.

The weather is really tearing me apart. Hot and Cold. 1 week of flu and I'm still sneezing like hell. Anyone thinking of me? Sorry, I'm BHB. I just sneezed 5 times.

Its really a funny feeling when someone can't get out of your mind. Its not about expecting anything in return. Its just all about giving. I don't ask for anything. I guess its a kind of feeling no one can understand. haha, I'm actually quite dumb right? But, I'll rather not own something that doesn't belong to me. As long as that person is happy, nothing else matters right? (PS- all matters here are not for discussion in real life)

I love singing. I'm not a fantastic singer but its a really good feeling for someone like me to be able to express through music. I often make fun of my own voice too. Its all emotions within singing. Composing is another channel, but it takes more than feelings. It takes a spark that can ignite the flame.

Singing is a big channel of expression for me because I've never have a linguistic channel of expression. If I have a talent of expressing through poems, I'd really love to do it.

I'm just floating in the real world. haha

Slice of Life

Time is An Illusion

When we're feeling lousy or sad, we tend to forget that life does not go on forever. That every moment is an opportunity for love, knowledge, compassion, creation, and joy, and once gone, can never be retrieved. We are too fixated with the past and all its "could have"s and "should have"s, squander our precious present by feeling sorry for ourselves, and imagine a future that may not come to pass!

We've all been brought up to believe that time is quantity - 60 seconds make up one minute, 60 minutes make up an hour, 24 hours make up a day. But the meaning of time varies from person to person and from context to context.

Time is an illusion, a phantom, a delusion if you will. This moment is gone before I am finished saying "this moment". This 'moment' will virtually never exist! Time is not a thing, it has no substance...you can't touch it, you can't feel it, it cannot imprison you.

We should know not the quantity of our life, or our time spent on this earth - but we should value the quality of our life. Time by itself has no meaning - we have to give it meaning via our thoughts and actions.

There is so much happiness out there waiting for you. And there are plenty of people who can benefit from the joy you will bring them. You may now feel very lonely, and sad, and it may seem quite possible that you will never experience joy, love, spontaneity and fun again. Which is, of course, a most absurd thought. Don't worry, it's just the grief talking? the withdrawal, the initial disbelief and dejection.

It is never too late. Very often, when we lose something valuable to us, we think it's too late to salvage things, to express our love, to show our appreciation. What we fail to realise is that we have ample opportunities to do this with other people we love, and the ones we will come to love!

I urge you not to waste another moment of your life - you'll never get it back.