27/01/05

Well, now then i realise that i have forgotten to post yesterday. Sigh, have been really down with work so this blogging thingy has just slip my mind. Now I'm in school waiting for a lecture at 1630. Its a long wait but i've completed 2 short tutorials so its a good thing. I'm just bored. Real bored, so i come here to type what i've forgotten to do yesterday.

Yesterday I had a project meeting. It seems like i am a type of person who is really bad with group work. I couldn't communicate well with my group mates, and ideas shared were just easily swept away. I got this instinct to stick to my own ideas and i believe that my ideas are good. I know its a bad thing because there can always be something to learn from my friends. But, the organization part is really not there.

I shouldn't complaint much eh. As sociologists have proven, men are weaker in verbal capabilities as compared to women. Most of the time i'll just let my group mates do what they want to do with my part of the essay. Trying to defend my ideas seems to be futile. I might also be viewed as being to aggresive on my ideas.

Now, in the IT lab, surrounding me are all the people doing the essay. Its good that my group has already finish the bulk of it, but truly speaking, i am not having high hopes on it. I don't know whether to be aggressive or just be passive. Thats just an inability of managing group differences in my part. How can I learn? How can i improve? It seems like I couldn't work well with new group members, and I have this preference to be with those who i work with previously.

Slice of life

Perfectionism

Like many other societies, ours is one driven by the pursuit of the highest standards. We were taught to always be the best, the one who gets the medal, the one with the best grades, the one who gets the most value for money at the buffet table.

This struggle towards perfection is not entirely unjustified; after all, we all should strive to become the best that we can be. Some of us actually thrive on constantly trying to be perfect. However, there is a difference between trying to be your best and attempting to live up to expectations which are excessively high or overly rigid.

Perfectionistic behaviour isn't helpful when it makes you aim for standards you can't possibly meet, and causes you to become depressed and anxious when you don't meet them. Perfectionistic inclinations are only positive when you're able to re-adjust your standards when you realise that they are impossible to reach.

If excessively high goals are making you inconsolably frustrated and miserable, then maybe it's time you rethink your concept of perfection. We all need to know when it's time to go for it and when to kick back a little and stop beating ourselves up over what we failed to achieve.

How do you know if your perfectionist tendencies are beginning to cause you unnecessary strife and misery?

Martin M. Antony, co-author of the book "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough", suggests asking the people around you. He goes on to say that perfectionism can mean a lot of different things. It can be a detail-oriented, compulsive way of being, where everything has to be in order and no one is allowed to be more than a couple of minutes late for an appointment.

People may also set unattainable standards for themselves - like trying to be the perfect parent, a superstar at work, a fantastic friend or the ideal partner, or attempting to attain the perfect physique.

You know it's starting to become a problem when you realise that there are certain aspects of your life from which you demand absolute perfection - anything less makes you unhappy and unfulfilled. It could be a relationship perhaps, or how your colleagues perceive you. And that feeling of dissatisfaction is very intense and is beginning to adversely impact other aspects of your life.

Let go of that anxiety and relax a little. Very often, these benchmarks hardly do any damage if they aren't reached. Don't let the pursuit of perfection affect your happiness and ability to maintain fulfilling relationships with the people around you.

Ahhhh this article is for me!! hee