3/8/05

Today was a very very very very long day for me. Alot of things happened, happy, tiring, exciting, and others. Let me say them in an organised manner.

Morning, wake up at 5am and went to school for a class. Nothing much happened during the class, just that I am still very quiet. There are some tutors who i can relate to and some that I can't. I find that I can't relate to today's tutor.

After the lesson, I went to computer lab to check out my utopia province. I happened to be able to chat to a new friend. This friend is a architect designer. Cool isn't it? It was a nice chat, cuz i could feel the liveliness of my friend affecting me. I was quite zombotic today because i slept at 11.30pm last night. The livelineess was a great help. And I was so happy that i found out that I was given approval to take a music appreciation module hee hurray

Then I attended a seminar on career planning. I learnt about the new mindset of the new age of employment. interesting talk.

Then it was the modules for my education minor. The registration system was so cock up that I really can't stand it. I fought for my friend for a place in the course but that tutor was just sooooo, i can't find the word. The tutor is a nice guy but he just seems not very student centric or perhaps customer focus. He don't know the sufferrings we students go through during this registration process, mentally and physically. There were a couple of us who didn't get the module. In then end, the whole bunch of us marched towards the office of the contact person for this minor program. It was about 15-20 people, squeezed in the narrow corridor. Sadly, that contact person wasn't there, but we met one of the lecturers for our 1st module of the minor. He is still so Ah beng. He said," wah gang fight ah. what you all doing? What? finding jonathon(contact person)? Don't look so aggressive, everything is under control. Jonathon is a very gentle person and he can't take it one."

I like that Ah beng hee. He knows how we students feel and could get a very good rupport with us. Great teacher-friend.

At the end of the school day, a bunch of us marched towards the office of Administration regarding the matter. we talked to a lady who could help us. She wasn't so friendly in the beginning but was ok after a while. I guess I still cannot talk in a nice way when things doesn't turn out well. She told us to be patient. That we must.

After school, I went to potong pasir CC for a band prac. My teacher requested me to play in that band for this sunday's performance, and i did. I am so surprise that I actually enjoyed it despite playing really really easy songs. The sound balance was nice, no star players, no crazy players, no arrogant players. But then the band needs alot of work if my teacher wants to build it up. This sunday is going to be a really busy day.

Slice of life

Love Should Not Be Bartered

You usually do what you're told or asked to, even when you really don't want to do it. You keep your grudges inside, but because you feel mistreated, you grumble, complain and have frequent bursts of anger. You feel suppressed, but just can't seem to say "no".

Does that sound like you?

If you're consistently suppressing your desires to accommodate other people's needs, even it makes you really unhappy, perhaps you need a shift in self-perspective.

You probably feel that if you don't give in to others' requests or demands, that people will not love or accept you anymore. You believe that their "love" for you is based solely on the pre-requisite that you comply with their every wish.

People trapped in such relationships can't seem to refuse the requests of family members or friends. And their family members and friends have become so used to seeing them in the submissive role that they often think that's what makes them happy, so they leave them to it. These people also get feelings of self-worth from being the "victim", the "martyr", or the one who has to sacrifice his own needs to accommodate the desires of the people he loves. This is a false line of reasoning that he has allowed himself to believe.

But your family members and friends will just as easily love you even if you can't give in to their desires. Love does not require that you suppress your true self and happiness. Love does not need you to be dishonest about your real feelings.

True freedom is found in giving out of love and not out of fear. When we give out of fear of rejection, we are not really giving but bartering whatever we are giving in exchange for others' acceptance.

No one can respond to what others ask of them all the time. And you are just as worthy of love even when you can't accommodate the needs of others.

Is it time you allowed others to be responsible for their own reality? And for you to be responsible for your own happiness?