22/10/05

The best sat ever. Prepared my GV01 exam answers till 1pm, then completed my new composition at 2pm. I'm quite happy with it but it still doesn't sound pro. After 7 compositions, I am still at the basic level. I need inspirations for me to create a masterpiece. One that creates mood and emotions. One that will make people cry after listening to it. I think nothing can beat James Barnes' Third Symphony. Crying sensation during the performance. Another one is Hardy Merten's Non potho reposare ("I cannot rest".... I think). Why do I like pieces that brings pain and sorrow?

Somehow, I agree with an idea brought up by someone. To feel happy, you must have felt sadness before. To feel love, you must have felt hatred before. Perhaps.... to feel excited, you must be really sian loh. haa.

Talk about love, I'm going to attend my friend's wedding later. This friend is my dear partner in Westwinds. The "Auntie" we call her. My best Eupho partner so far in my musician life.... Talk about the style and intonation, our sound could merge well and deliver power tone hee. I really hope she'll keep on playing eupho even after marriage.

I still refuse to think too much into things. I would rather be blur than to be mistaken when things turn out the other way. Human beings are just complicated beings. Whats up with the neurons sia. haa. I proudly proclaim myself as a person who controls my thoughts and behavior very well. Thou sometimes confused, the time taken for recovery is rather fast. Why am I typing this paragraph? I think i'm talking rubbish. Haa trying to extend my blog. If you have read till here, Thankz ah.

Ok, now i just came back from the wedding dinner and shall continue with the rampage of my words. First good things first. The banquet was super huge. 70 tables. *drop jaw*. The whole band was invited to the dinner. Very fun to see the band with full attendance, finally. But its not for rehearsal, its for shouting haaa. I think we have the loudest "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam seng". All the diaphram power put into those 2 words. We even requested the newly-wed ones to kiss during our shouting haaa, we endured like almost 2 minutes for it..... I didn't count though. Fun fun.

I sat beside my Doc friend. I found that he is a very caring guy who pays attention to details and he doesn't mind serving other people. When I told him that I must try my liquor limit one day, he told me not to do it. He knew about my condition, and even said that when he was studying that chapter, it reminded him of me. He gave me alot of advice and tips. Glad to have him as a great friend in the band. Seriously speaking, I am really touched by it. A rather soft spoken and caring guy. Anyone interested?

Like what he said, my body is battling itself. The stronger my body is, the fiercer it will battle, and the faster i go to grave. Haa I should control my urge to drink for the good of my family.

Just a little warning: as I'm a little bit floaty from the two small glass of red wine, I'm gonna be quite direct with the things I type. Read at your own risks.

"Dear WeiQiang, got cheated again? How many times have you fall into this kind of situation? Why have you not learn your lesson? Can't you see that things can never turn out the way you expected it to be? Why do people treat you this way? Can you see the light? Think WeiQiang, think WeiQiang."

Oh come on, I'm just trying to be a nice person. I always like to help people. She just wanna borrow things from me thats all. I brought the thing, correct. I did my part. I msged her. Yes. I did. I saw them together. Yes, I know they are still together. I don't care because I haven't set my mind on anything. I just wanna lend her something, thats all.

"Really? Don't try to cheat me WeiQiang, you looked at her so many times, don't you care about whats happening? Why didn't she approach you for that thing? Why? Why don't you go up and pass it to her? "

Hey what the hack? I might get beaten by him. He is rich, handsome, playful, naughty (which all girls like), and big (macho). Anyway she saw me at the end of the dinner, and I did signal her to come over and get the thing from me. I don't know if she totally blanko me out or what, she just wave to my Doc friend beside me and then turned away. (damn it, I felt). I was too dipsy to do anything anyway. I looked at her shadows, walking further and further.... (why did the heck did I carry that thing, all the way from my home to the ballroom, and took care of it until the end of the dinner. I looked like the ultimate idiot from outer space.) Oh yes, I don't think she suits me anyway. And you! stop asking me so much questions. You are inside me and you should know much better than what is happening. Hmph.

Yes the ultimate idiot from outer space. I hate being treated like an idiot, and I hate people take me for granted. I hate people using me just because I'm easy to be used. I hate people see me as one who can help them solve their problems. I hate I hate I hate!. Ultimately, I hate myself from treating my friends so well.

I hate people who cheat me. I hate people who cheat on their friends. I hate people who doesn't behave correctly even though they are attached!!!! Unfaithful people. Damn hell. May a million needles pierce through your belly button. Assholes! Cocksters! And GIRLS! If you are attached! You bloody hell behave like you are attached! If your relationship has some problems, then settle that problem!!! Don't try and look for another even before you solve your previous problem. I deemed that as having 2 boats at one time. I despise people who are unfaithful. I hate people who cheats on other people, I cannot stress that even more! You want to look for new one..... CAN! after you settle your stuffs completely.

GUYS! Stop being an asshole to try and get good impressions from so many different girls. I am scolding myself too! No point No point! Girls today are so different from the past. AND IDIOT GUYS! DOn't think that the chioest girls are always the bEST!. You need to open your eyes and see their hearts. Stop letting your testosterones controlling you. Damn fiflthy bastards. I'm included!!

GIRLS! don't think that you CHIO you can rule the world. The chioest girls are those who doesnt' think that they are chio.

Damn it, I just sound like the world's biggests loser. Yes I admit, biggest loser. Know too much! Think too much! See too clearly about human behaviors!! Pain inside my own perception! Always looking deeper into what I see, hear, feel. That is the reason, why I don't want to wear my glasses during normal days. Seeing too clearly distorts sound and feeling. People put too much "cosmetic" on their looks and actions. I hate it.

I don't know how much more enemies I would make if all my friends sees this. Somehow, I would want all my friends to just see this as my diary and not as pin pointing anyone. My own thoughts, my own memories, my own self. Please..... if I'm not the kind of person you'll like to befriend with, just ignore me. But I assure everyone, I'm normal during normal days. Damn.