9/9/06

It has been a long time, since i last step onto the sandy beach of East Coast Park. I suddenly realise that the lesser the time we have to get close to nature, the more we would appreciate the time we use to get close to it. Everything in life seems to be the same. As you consume/experience/watch/see/talk/look (any action you can think of) more and more of something, you will get more and more sick of it. The opposite is true.

There is still a little pinch inside when i looked at the blue blue water. As the sound of waves starts to orchestrate in a rhythmic pattern, it just brings me to a state of blocking other things from all my senses. The sun grew gradually in strength. I didn't hide from it. I let it warm me up, hoping it will warm my heart as well.

I rented a bike, and embarked on a journey of senseless travelling. I didn't know what was going on around me. I just pedal and pedal, as hard and as fast as possible, wanting to release all the energy inside me. What went through my ear was only the sound of wind. Thats all i need. Peace and quiet plus the sound of nature.

I travelled a distance that no one can imagined. Although it might seem to have a destination, I felt that there wasn't any end to the journey. It was long, tough, and scorching. I placed a test on myself initially, to travel with little water. But I couldn't help it but to stop at a shop to buy a bottle of 1L mineral water. It cost 2.50 bucks. I was chopped. Whatever.

I managed to reach both ends of the coast. I was proud. I was tired. I was delighted. In the end, I turned red. Red on both of my arms, and face. Chao ta would describe it well.

There isn't much communication with my collegues during the cycling time. I was alone, which was what i wanted. They were all having fun rollar blading.

After all those exercising, we went to Macdonalds for some unhealthy food. But was very filling. I was contented with the unhealthy food. I give myself a break from the all healthy vege rice haa.

There were also gay pictures taken. Again, I was one of the cast. Argh, am i really so gay? Maybe i should just turn myself into a permanent gay. I'm so affected when it comes to girls thing. I'm tired about girls stuff liao. Oh ya, I behave much much like a girl now, cuz i talk as much as them liao.

Sometimes, i really wish that those girls who i am sort of interested in, would be cruel to me and ignore me if they doesn't like me. Talking to me once in a while might give me an idea that I could have a chance. But i rationalise that idea quite fast too, together with some form of disappointment. I hate the disappointment feeling.

I just wan to have no expectation, then i won't have disappointment. But to have no expectation, I need the other party to help me. Be cruel, and leave me alone. Thats easy right? DOn't tell me its difficult cuz ignoring ppl is easy. Just do it, Nike!!

Thats all for today.