29/03/05

I just couldn't understand myself. Why would I be so affected when I know that other people are better than me in terms of academic? I shouldn't right? Everyone has their own talents, and i know I don't have the studying talent. The thing i have would be the effort in studying. Can hardworking people beat genius? That question is also raised in Naruto.

Well, I am actually not bothered whether other people gets better results than me or not, but there are just some people.... who keeps on boosting about the friends around that person. That person isn't any great in terms of academic, but the friends around that friend is just so powerful. So that friend keeps on saying how great the friends around that friend are. And keep on saying that the friends say that this way in doing isn't correct. Or, whenever I suggest something, I would either get rejected immediately or my friend's friends would be consulted. I gave up. How could people be so insensitive. Other people might be damn good with their work, but..... I'm not. If i don't have the substance to produce so good report, then I don't want to clothe myself with so good report that is not totally done by me. Integrity at stake.

This sem is just hell for me. This sem makes me think about my own abilities again. This sem makes me think about my adaptation ability in terms of working with people who i don't know. This sem makes me think whether my aims are too high to reach. This sem makes me think whether I can live in a high-stress environment. This sem makes me think whether I could be in the business world in the future. Too many questions to think about, too few answers.

I'm starting to feel how inferior people feels in school. At first, I wonder why they didn't contribute anything in class or projects. I also wonder why they don't work hard to pass everything. Now I know. Its in the hearts, and the environment and social environment breaks it. I wonder if I have been a bastard before. Working with me is also difficult. But now, my flame dies, destroyed by this sem alone. 2 more sems to go. I hope i don't deviate too far away from what I wanted. Now I just want to sleep. I..... me and myself.....

And sorry, slice of life can't save me now. Maybe later.

Slice of life

Keep Swimming!

Too many people give up just before the tide turns. Like a man dying of thirst in the desert, who lays down to his final rest before seeing the oasis just beyond the crest of a sand dune.

How sad it is, to have thrown in the towel too early. What a waste! And to think salvation was so close!

Here's a poem about two unfortunate frogs and how a determined will to survive saved one of them.

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,
and with a last despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."

Said the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can't get out but I won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then I'll die the more content." Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
and his struggles began to churn the cream.

The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
the more the cream turned into butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.
What is the moral? It's easily found...
If you can't hop out, keep swimming around!

How easy it is to just give up, to see the world through a doomsday screen and abandon it. Courage and faith are required to persevere and make the best of every situation.

If only the other frog had known how simple it was to get out, I'm sure he wouldn't have given up so easily. But life is such? we never know how simple some things really are, though they seem impossible to achieve.

It is only our faith and optimism that helps carries us through the most seemingly insurmountable odds.

POEM BY UNKNOWN AUTHOR