10/10/05

I can hear!!! The sound of my heart beat. My heart was jumping and pumping so hard that it nearly came out. It was during the morning presentation. Luckily I was able to use all possible techniques to calm myself down. And today, I feel that I did one of my best presentations ever, except for the occasion of blank-outs in my mind. I did the right choice of writing my whole speech out and putting in front of me. I cannot blabber on and on without looking at notes. The class laughed a bit during my part, I wonder if I said the wrong thing or I looked really funny hmm. I didn't notice it actually. I was too engross at what i'm suppose to say. But overall, I had great fun. I just cannot get used to talking to a group of intelligent grown ups. My usual self.... talking to a bunch of playful noisy kids. Shouting most of the time and looking black most of the time. Ah.... that might shorten my life.

I got so happy about the presentation that I let my mind rested during the bus ride. Listen to some eupho music and slept throughout. Its not a nice sight wearing office wear and sleeping in the bus. Perhaps people might think that i just got sacked.

The process for the presentation was hardwork.... whatever it is, the ending must be a happy one, even if it screwed up or what. I have another presentation on wed that i want to experiment more styles of presenting. This time, it will be a shouting presentation cuz its a lecture hall without microphones. Not to worry, my voice is loud enough. No doubt on my diaphram strength. I can blow a tree away!! just kidding!

A tribute to my group members. In our group, we have the

1) Genius
2) Teddy (hope you don't mind hee)
3) The Pen
4) Hello Kitty
5) The paranoid/worker/blackface (me!)

My dog joined me and my parents for dinner at the coffee shop today. She had great fun looking at people. I can't believe that sitting on the chair, looking at people could be so fun. And she can't eat our food. After that, we brought her to a play ground. She had so much fun sitting the slide that she kept on bugging my mum to bring her up. What a Young Auntie haa. She is 6 yrs now, equivalent to 42 yrs old human. Guess what..... she keep on "talking" in her sleep just now. Sooooo cute!

Slice of Life

Writing An Apology to Your Partner

One of the hardest things to do in the world is apologise. I don't mean the obligatory "I'm sorry, ok?" that we sometimes use to bring a tiresome fight to an uneasy close. I'm talking about a full-fledged apology, one that addresses the difficult issues and seeks a compromise that both parties can use to move forward.

Such apologies are extremely unwieldy, and can be especially awkward in a face-to-face situation, a phone conversation, or any system of communication that allows spontaneous feedback. Now feedback can be good, but unfortunately, most of us don't use feedback very well in face-to-face apology situations. Very often, the wrong word is said, the tone comes out too strong, or statements are made that can throw off the entire apology.

So if you find that face-to-face apologies are not working out for you, try writing your apologies.
Writing your apology enables you to collect and refine your thoughts. It is very difficult to think through an apology on the fly, especially if your angry partner is on the offensive.

In addition, a written apology ensures that you will be heard all the way through. Nobody will interrupt and start yelling when they are reading an apology.

Also, you avoid the hostile questions that often interrupt you when you start speaking the apology. These negative questions have the nasty effect of derailing your good intentions and then you just have another argument which demands another apology.

Apologizing without having to face your partner also helps you avoid the raised eyebrows and squinting eyes during the apology which can just derail you again. Besides, a written apology looks like you've given the matter some serious thought (which might even be true).

The structure and flow of your apology is also important, so you might want to follow a formula like this:

1. Describe your offense. This is necessary so your partner knows exactly what you're apologizing for.
2. Describe what you think is the effect on your partner. This display of empathy is comforting to the other person.
3. Describe why you did what you did. This reassures your spouse that you're on top of the problem and reduces their need to nag you about it.
4. Describe a self imposed penalty for not changing. This one is the clincher. Think of an appropriate penalty for your offensive behavior, and tell it to your spouse. Tell them that if you don't change you will impose the penalty on yourself. This reassures them that you mean business.