30/10/05

Finally finished the whole 311 revision. Now is to wait for the stupid case. 1 day 3 chapters, 8 hrs each time to think through all things. On the 3rd and 4th day, I simply cannot care about just copy everything from my lecture notes into a more organised format. Well, those who study with me will know my style. One page, full of microscopic words. Always tries to squeeze the whole lecture in to give myself a helicopter view. Yup, good way for open book exams... but 311 is close book..... what am i doing.

93.3FM has been accompanying me these few days. I'm glad that its one of the singapore's best radio station. Hearing my friend's voice is damn cool too. But.... he should be studying as well.... i think he super. haa.

Songs do help me to study a bit better, giving me a brighter feeling. I wonder if it helps for other people. you might want to try it.

Nothing much happening... so.... its time for Slice of Life.

I'm back to add on after seeing the stupid news about terrorist blasts. Somehow I really don't understand some things. The first reaction of all people is to condemn those acts. And then, all requesting to bring those terrorist to justice. And how? Put them on trial? And then those who are not caught will try and plan somemore bombings. The cycle of hatred just build and build.

Immediate after the bombings, one of the person interviewed stated that the first thing to do at the site, is to stop the fire from spreading. Omg! the properties are more important than the lifes at stake. Why isn't their first reaction to save the people around there..... properties more important?

Why hasn't anyone think or find out what is their purpose of such stupid acts? Does punishing them create peace? I have too many questions in mind. Punishment will only make things even worst. The angrier people are, they are going to make other people even angrier, and then cycle goes on and on. Will a more benevolent way of reaction solve this problem? Will the terrorists stop all these if we are to convince them that we are aiming to raise their living standards, solve their problems? Well, I'm making a very big assumption here... i.e. the terrorists are willing to talk in the first place.

Somehow, I am worried that i might get put to trial because i post all these here. But i just can't stop my urge. The worsen humanity.....

Slice of Life (21/10/05)

A Happy Marriage (Part 2)

In the last programme, we talked about some tips to keep in mind for a happy and lasting marriage.

Briefly, these were - being happy with yourself and your life before you can be capable of making your spouse happy, considering the new entity of "we" in a marriage without becoming co-dependent, leaving behind the emotional baggage of past relationships, and making your spouse your priority.

Today, let's look at more ways to keep your marriage rewarding and joyful.

I'd like to emphasise again how important it is to ensure that your marriage is your top priority. You didn't get married to commute two hours a day, or work at the office 60 hours a week. You probably got married to share your life, your hopes, your dreams (not your bills) with that special someone. During life's ups and especially during life's downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place. Not jobs, nor cars, nor your favorite sports team. At one time, your partner was the most important thing in this world to you. Act like it today and every day.

Don't compare. This holds true in your life as well as in your marriage. There will always be a couple that seems happier, wealthier, sexier, and more perfect than you two are. So what? Their happiness doesn't increase or diminish your happiness. Neither does their money, their jobs, their house, or their glamour. All that matters is whether you and your spouse have created a relationship that works for you.

Don't wonder "what if?" Wondering what it would be like to be with another person-for a night or for a lifetime-is self-delusion and is really unfair to your spouse. You see other people socially when they are at their best. You see your spouse when he/she is at his best, her average, and sometimes at her worst. If you could swap mates, guess what? You'd see that person at his/her worst, and you probably wouldn't like what you see.

Commitment means no matter what. It's as simple as making the decision to be totally committed to your spouse and to the relationship. No matter what happens financially, or health wise, or otherwise. No matter what. Once the two of you have decided to stay "no matter what", there is no question of stay or go, yes or no. Now the emphasis is on problem solving. And all couples have problems. Happy couples learn to deal with their problems. Unhappy couples eventually just run away.

A happy marriage won't happen by itself. It takes intention, commitment, and practice. But the couples who have happy, blissful, and satisfying marriages are proof that it is possible. Just choose to be happy, and choose to be happily married.

Slice of Life (24/10/05)

An Attitude of Gratitude

Melody Beattie once said "Gratitude turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

An attitude of gratitude is one of the most useful things one can possess. It's an unending resource from which one can draw inspiration and comfort. It's also one of the most precious gifts a parent can give a child.

Have you ever wondered why it is that some children who seem to have it all are pleasant and friendly while others become spoiled? The difference is in the attitude. Some children expect to have certain things, and they soon become spoiled and easily discontented. Other children remain thankful and appreciative.

Think of adults you know that fit these descriptions. Whom do you know has a chip on their shoulder or feels the world owes them something? Whom do you know greets each discovery with appreciation? It is easy to guess who is happier and more fulfilled.

Developing a thankful attitude goes a long way toward developing a more resilient and appreciative self. Here are a few ideas for spreading the attitude of gratitude.

Think about the whole process. When you receive anything, be it a child's drawing or an expensive gift, focus on how much time, effort, and thought went into the gift. Taking the time to realize how much work, caring, and thought a person has given you is a wonderful way to deepen your appreciation of both the giver and the gift.

Realize that each day is a gift. There are so many things that we take for granted. Many times we don't realize how much we actually take for granted until tragedy strikes. Take your loved ones, for example. Do you regular take time to appreciate them? To show them how much you love them? Remember, they won't be around forever.

And lower your expectations. If you keep expecting things to be in your favour, you'll be thwarted by the many things that will be unfavourable. You'll focus on the negative until you become an irritable, unpleasant grouch. But when we quit expecting the world or people to give us things, we can become more focused on enjoying the gifts that do come our way.

A good way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a Gratitude Journal. In it, record five at least five things you can be thankful for each day. Even on seemingly lousy days, you should be able to list at least five. Look beyond the obvious. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation for life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.