27/10/05

Sux. The last presentation turned out to be a mild disaster. I guess I wasn't prepared that well.... or perhaps I didn't sleep well enough yesterday? Or perhaps I can't be the last speaker. Its really not easy being the last speaker ok. A test of patience and test of brain power, and a test of time management. For a moment during the presentation, my mind went blank. I had to flip to my prepared notes and read a few sentences from there. I wasn't prepared.... sigh. This brought back a little memory that happened when I was in army.

That day was the Sports day for our Unit, and I took part in this 10*1km relay for my unit. The group of runners requested that I run as the last runner because of my performance in my 2.4km. I did, and waited while my friends ran their life out. I was nervous, a little tiredness was felt. When it was my turn, I took over as second position (there were only 4 groups running). That was the time when I could feel my life flying out of my mouth haaa. All efforts and energy.... I told myself, don't be last... don't. During the last segment of the 1km run, a flying fish caught up from behind!! Oh my god.... and I could only see him further and further near the finishing line. Last I was.... and I fell and grasp for breath after the finishing line, uncomfortable standing, uncomfortable sitting, uncomfortable lying down.... might as well die.

I think that people shouldn't put too much hopes on me in whatever things that we need to do. I know where my abilities are. If I say I can't do something, it means, I really can't. I could try. But the results won't be that good. Somehow, if we follow the Zone of Proximal Development theory of Vygotsky, I could say that my threshold level is quite high for a difficult task, and I am also high in terms of personal mastery, and I know where I am now (current abilities). Who can provide me with the Scaffolding I need? Do genius like my friend need scaffolding? Hmm I wonder if theres any Professors willing to do such a research.

Overall, Damn myself haa.

Slice of Life

STORIES - The Pear Tree

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, the fulfillment of your fall.

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later.