17/11/05

Ok, vomited during exam. Its really vomit knowledge. Just write what I memorised, word by word. No need think so much lah. Write write write. A 2 hr paper. Finished in 1hr 50 minutes. Last 10 minutes to look around and think about 205. Felt contented with the amount of vomiting i did. I can say its 90-95% of what I memorised. Whether the marker likes my answer is another matter. But, I can say that i'm satisfied. Its a confidence builder for me before the last battle tomorrow. A battle of reading speed. I do envy my friend who could do speed reading.

Now suffering from slight headache..... slept on MRT, slept a bit at home.... what a mess of time. Ah. After exam = 3 days fun break before going to work. No time for games..... darn, just when i bought so much. And also FYP !! double headache.

I just know that I couldn't get perfect score anywhere in NTU.... never. And this time, 311 blew it up. Nice one Lawrence. Damn.

Slice of Life

Being Too Nice

Are you too nice?

Does this question sound strange to you? How can anyone be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" a good quality to have in a relationship?

True, people do value niceness in others, but if your way of being nice is to suppress your own needs constantly, you are being too nice for your own good. If you always put the needs of others first, and your own needs last, if you don't speak out when your own needs are ignored, then you are being too nice for your own good.

When you express your niceness as a sign of genuine respect, kindness and interest in another person, it's a wonderful quality to have. But when the "nice"-ness is a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or desperate loneliness, it can be a liability, and can make other people feel uneasy or guilty, or even attract the sort of people who are willing to exploit you.

Have you ever met a person who never expresses their real preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the smallest matters? When someone asks them "where do you want to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is fine with me, where do you want to eat?"

A person who won't state their opinion or preference may think they are being nice, but this is not niceness; this is a form of fearfulness, and a lack of self-respect. Some people develop the trait of never asking for what they want because they were raised in a family where expressing wants or opinions was discouraged, or even disallowed.

They may have been literally taught that they shouldn't speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for themselves, and that everyone else's opinion mattered more than theirs.

A child who grew up in a family where they weren't allowed to express their needs or opinions, may grow up believing that this is how the whole world wants them to behave, even after they have become adults. They may find it difficult to take the initiative in any situation involving other people. They may feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their desires. They may even feel they are being "bad" if they ask for anything.

In relationships that are healthy and satisfying, both people share responsibility equally when making plans and decisions.
If you believe that being nice means never asking for anything for yourself, it's important to learn to pay attention to your needs, to respect yourself, and to ask for what you want and need. Take your turn making decisions with others. Make your needs and preferences heard.

If you find your wishes are always being ignored, take a close look at why this is happening and see how you can change it.