10/11/05

Sometimes i really wonder. If i put in so much effort and i get a poor result.... I think I would just faint. It would be a sign for me to lead a more peaceful life. Battling in work.... or even schools don't suit me. Noooooooo. BUt.... if i do well..... what does that mean? That means i have to go on battling for my life? Argh, what a confusing life..... good also cannot, bad also cannot. Damn.

I conquered simons book. Forced myself through again. Originally planned to use 2 days to finish it. Now i got one more day to play with my mind.... I mean think through all the things, up down left right, inside out. Yes, tomorrow will be the day that i finish preparing my notes for 205..... 3 days.... world record?

I do seem like a person with little confidence ain't I? Haaa I guess so. I just wonder how can one be sooooo confident like.... you know who. The most confident paper for me ever was one of the modules in the previous semester. I don't know where that came from but perhaps my good course work. This sem.... course work.... I msged 2 tutors about my coursework grade and both didn't reply.... you say i sad or not? I guess its quite bad thats why they didn't wan me to know haa. or maybe i'm not sincere enough?

My mind seems to be doing so much gym work of trying to remember and analysing things. Need to pour water into my brain liao. overheat.

Can hardworkers really beat genius? I'm still experimenting.

(Lee (from naruto)!! I need your determination!!)

Slice of Life

STORIES - The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Slice of Life

After a Bad Decision

We've all made decisions we've regretted. You know, the ones which quickly or slowly turn from a "Yes!" to an "Uh-oh?"

We've all said "yes" to a job, a person or a situation we know in our gut isn't right for us. And still we do it. Somehow a part of us kicks in, our mind or our body overrules the wisdom of our heart and we find ourselves on a path we never intended.

Sometimes these wrong turns can be detrimental to our wellbeing. They cause stress and put us in danger of losing ourselves indefinitely. Other times we immediately realize our mistaken direction and we decide right there and then to go back to the beginning and start again.

Either way, when you find yourself in a sticky situation, only you have the power to declare you took a wrong turn and only you can decide when it's time to get back on track. These tips may help.

Be honest with yourself. Admit, as quickly as possible, you made a choice that led you down the wrong path. Nothing will change until you personally acknowledge the decision you made isn't working for you. The sooner, the better. Be willing to take 100% responsibility for the choices you make for your life.

Plan an exit strategy. Once you've admitted to yourself you're on the wrong path, decide how you're going to get back on track. In some situations it may be necessary for you to stop what you're doing immediately. Most of the time, a fast exit may lead to even more stress and poor decision making. Take the time you need to get very clear on what it is you do want, and get back on track one step at a time.

Be gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up will only damage your self-esteem. Realize everyone makes mistakes; even the most successful individuals take several wrong turns before getting it right. Life is ten percent how we make it and ninety percent how we take it.

Look for the lesson. There's always a lesson to be learned, and occasionally, even a blessing in disguise. What did taking a wrong turn teach you about yourself? Do you need to listen to your gut more and to others less? Do you need to finally listen to your heart and follow its calling? Do you need to value yourself more? Do you need to redefine what success means to you?

Do better next time. Life is full of second chances. Be willing to take them! Let go of the past and commit to do whatever it takes to get back on the right track. The wisdom you've gained from taking a wrong turn will help you do better next time.

There's only one way to live life on your right track. Listen to your heart. It holds the secret to your happiness and the key to your success.