18/5/06

We did it.... the last resort. The morning started in a big fury inside me. I can't help it but to scold F**K. Damn it.

First thing in the morning, mum requested me to lodge a complain to housing board. She said:"你是读书人，他们会比较听你的。我是auntie,没有力的." Ok, since this is what she wanted. I told her, 后果是怎样的我可不管。We went down and talked to one of the personnel there. She was really friendly. Lucky for that. Cuz my blood was already boiling. I could contain my temper.... but when I have no choice, I will have to release it somehow, and I don't talk nicely when I need to lodge a complaint. Assertive as it was.

Yes, I told her quite a bit, even regarding my old neighbours in our old flat. My mum said:"你做什么做么笨，没有脑？跟人家讲这样多?" So much for the favour i'm doing her. And yes, I told housing board to talk to the neighbours in a way to make them aware that staying in harmony and peace is important. And perhaps suggest to them ways to minimise noises by placing carpets and chairs with wheels. My mum scolded me too. I got so pissed and i told her. ”I don't solve problems through force and scolding. That is not what i learn. What you want me to tell them? Go up and F**K their mother?" I think i surprised my mum. Diam Diam after that.

She wanted to go food court for breakfast. I got so boiled inside i don't even feel like eating... but still dragged to eat. I can't talk straight cuz i was regulating my breathing. Everytime i get angry, my eyes get watery. I think my lungs are too active. Do you guys know that tears are triggered of by lungs? THat is true.

That is why i don't like to get angry because i tear. People might think that i'm tearing and i'm soft. Sorry, I'm not. I'm so angry that I don't want to let it out cuz i know that when volcano erupts, its not going to do things good. I'm just so pissed now that I　ｎｅｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｃｏｍｐｏｓｅ　ｐｉｅｃｅ　ｔｏ　ｃａｌｍ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｄｏｗｎ．　ＤＡｍｎ．
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Volcanoe erupted. I feel like shit now. Must guys show their anger before girls can shutup? I don't have a very nice temper, so beware me. Oh yes, upstairs did it again. What triggered me to shout at the top of my voice (yes, echo can be heard) towards the rear window was that my mum actually closed the toilet door and shouted (not as loud as me) some cursing thing. "If want to shout, shout directly upwards lah", i thought. So, I "roared" 3 times until that stupid banging sound from above stopped. I feel like shit, but the whole day was peaceful then. I just wan some peace....

Totally shit feeling as i sat in front of the comp, trying to maple and trying to compose music. Shit. Died in maple at level 26. Wasted 5% experience....

I went to jogged. This time, I aimed to kill myself but i didn't die. I ran 3 rounds again. Wanted to see if i would fall down and collapse down. If that happens, then i would most prob wake up to find myself in a hospital. That would be a sweet sight. Then the whole family would turn sweet again?

Why! Why! Why must there be problems before happy things come? I'm still waiting for my neighbours to make more noise from above, so that i can use this as an excuse to take my hammer, and knock the hell OUT OF THE BLOODY BASTARDS UP THERE WHO CAUSE HAVOC TO MY FAMILY!!!!

(oh yes i didn't mention this, we talked nicely to our dear neighbours for many times and guess what..... "I didn't do it, its upstairs", "oh its the day, so i can make noise", "no its the kids", and all the arrogant attitude. The more i think of it, the more I want to take hammer to hammer my ceiling)

I need a psychologist.
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Slice of life

STORIES - The Caterpillar's Voice

Once upon a time a caterpillar crawled inside a hare's house when the hare was away, and set about making himself comfortable. When the hare returned home, he noticed new marks on the ground going into the cave. He called, "Who's in my house?"

The caterpillar boomed, "It is I! Yes, I who crushes rhinos to the earth and tramples elephants into dust!"

The hare hopped about, crying, "What can a small animal like me do with a creature who crushes rhinos and tramples elephants?"

He soon met a jackal, and asked the jackal to talk to the terrible creature who had taken possession of his home and to convince him to leave. The jackal agreed, and when they reached the place, he barked loudly and said, "Who is in the house of my friend the hare?"

The caterpillar replied, "It is I! Yes, I who crushes rhinos to the earth, and tramples elephants into dust!" On hearing this, the jackal thought, "Certainly I can do nothing against such a creature," and he quickly left.

The hare then fetched a leopard, a rhinoceros, and even an elephant. All their hearts shrank when they heard the caterpillar's menacing claim. None of them dared to challenge this fearsome creature with the earth-shaking voice.

In despair by this point, the hare asked a frog passing by if he could possibly make the creature who had frightened all the other animals leave his house. The frog went to the cave door and asked who was inside. He received the same reply as had been given to the others. Then the frog went nearer and shouted, "I, who am the strongest of all, have come at last. I am the one who crushes those who crush the rhinos! I am the one who tramples underfoot those who trample the elephants!"

When the caterpillar inside the hare's cave heard this, he trembled. He inched out of the hare's den along its edge, trying not to be noticed. But the animals who had collected around the hare's house seized the caterpillar and dragged him out. "What, you?" they all cried in disbelief.

"I would never dream of staying in that cave!" said the caterpillar with his nose in the air. "An echo like that is far too crude for a refined creature like myself!" As he sniffed away, all the other animals laughed at the trouble he had given them.

Many of our fears and worries sound much larger and more frightening than they really are.