4/5/06

I forced myself to jog again. This time I couldn't fly. Argh so slow. And my blisters....!! pain pain. Sigh. Now I really do want to compliment the New Balance shoes... sigh. Excellent long distance jogging shoes.

I really need to do something to train up my reaction speed. I'm really staring at this for a long time before I start to react upon the information. I think its time for popcap's games.

Today's blog is short because i received alot of Slice of Life postings. So, I'll post here for you all to read. Have fun!

Slice of Life

To Be Someone Else

At some point in your life, you've probably wanted to be someone else. Someone more good-looking, more intelligent, wealthier, more well-liked. While twisting in the grip of envy, you've hated yourself, lamented your state of affairs, been incredibly annoying to the people around you.

The next time you find yourself entertaining thoughts of being somebody else, know that it's never going to happen. You are never going to be someone else so you might as well banish the idea. There is one constant - you have only one life, and you can either live it to the best of your abilities, or you can wither and sulk. It's your choice.

In 1978, Erma Bombeck wrote a book entitled "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank." What a funny read! According to her, there must be some specific reason that the grass is greener "over there." While the top layer is nice, plush, and green, what is it that boils underneath? Sure the vegetation is flourishing, but you can be sure the water bill is higher.

When we strive to be like someone else or we envy or hate others because we are not like them, it's a spectacular waste of time. We all fall into the limbo from time to time, but nothing is achieved by it. Sometimes we strive to be like others because of the challenges that we must deal with every day. Yes it indeed seems ideal to simply step into someone else's shoes in order to escape our troubles. But even if it were possible, we'd simply be signing up for a whole list of other problems.

You only see the positive aspects that "attract" you to this other person's life, yet there are always negative aspects hiding beneath the surface. You must realize that each and every life comes with its share of challenges. Life isn't about getting rid of challenges; it's about how you manage these challenges to make your life as fulfilling as possible.

Very often, we create these "challenges" ourselves. Because we do not look forward with passion and optimism, we sit still and become bored. We then create these challenges as a way to convince ourselves that they are the reason we don't seem to be moving. Some politicians make up enemies for very much the same reason. When we have someone or something to blame, then we don't have to think about accepting responsibility for our own problems.

The only way to live a fairytale is to become the hero of the story. Remember, just as others' lives may seem more attractive to you, your life appears desirable to others. They just don't tell you. As you plan and define your direction, you will find that your life is truly unique. Learn to love yourself and your life.

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STORIES - Genghis Khan and His Hawk

Anger is one of the most fundamental aspects of human nature. We were all born with an inclination towards it and that's why curbing anger is such a challenge. It's like trying to suppress a part of us that seems to surface involuntarily.

But great is the need to restrain ourselves from doing things out of anger, these can have very serious consequences. Take the story of Genghis Khan and his hawk, for example.

One morning, Genghis Khan, the great king and warrior, rode out into the woods for a day's sport. On his wrist sat his favourite hawk, for in those days hawks were trained to hunt.

The day had been warm, and the king was very thirsty. His pet hawk left his wrist and flew away. It would be sure to find its way home. The king was riding slowly along, when to his joy, he saw some water trickling down over the edge of a rock. He knew that there was a spring farther up.

The king took a little silver cup from his hunting bag and held it so as to catch the slowly falling drops. It took a long time to fill the cup; and the king was so thirsty that he could hardly wait. At last it was nearly full. He put the cup to his lips, and was about to drink when suddenly, the cup was knocked from his hands.

The king looked up to see who had done this thing. It was his pet hawk.

The king picked up the cup, and again held it to catch the trickling drops. When the cup was half full, he lifted it toward his mouth. But before it had touched his lips, the hawk swooped down again, and knocked it from his hands.

Now this happened a few times. The king was so overcome by anger that when the bird swooped down again, he struck it with his sword. The hawk fell to the ground and lay dying at its master's feet.

"That is what you get for your pains," said Genghis Khan.

But when he looked for his cup, he found that it had fallen between two rocks, where he could not reach it.

"At any rate, I will have a drink from that spring," he said to himself.

With that he began to climb the steep bank to the place from which the water trickled. When he reached the pool, he noticed something lying in the pool, almost filling it. It was a huge, dead snake of the most poisonous kind.

The king stopped. He forgot his thirst.

"The hawk saved my life!" he cried, "and how did I repay him? He was my best friend, and I have killed him."

Genghis Khan learnt a sad lesson that day - and that was to never do anything in anger.

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Forgiveness for Yourself

We're always being told "Forget what happened. Put it behind you and move on." It's not that easy, is it?

Forgiving someone who has done you an injustice is difficult; it even feels illogical, because we feel that we are letting the wrongdoer off the hook. But forgiving does not equate letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you are condoning bad behaviour. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It's about you.

You forgive people not for their sake, but for your own sake. You forgive because that's the only way you can set yourself free. When you forgive, you're letting go of anger, of hurt, helplessness or shame. Like love, when forgiveness is given unconditionally, it's incredibly empowering for the giver. When you set conditions on forgiveness, you give power to your tormentors. You make it easier for them to hurt you again.

Stress is often caused by regrets and resentments we have been holding on to for years. These grudges rob us of peace of mind and hamper our growth.

Peace of mind is required for healing to take place. Forgiveness can bring that peace of mind. That said though, nobody should demand or expect forgiveness from you. It is nobody's birthright to be forgiven. It's up to you when you are ready and when you want to forgive them. You have to work through your anger and sense of loss before you will be able to do that. Others can ask you for forgiveness but not expect it. To expect forgiveness builds up even more resentment.

But we all should practice forgiveness regularly to unclutter our mind. When we forgive, we remove what's blocking our energy and happiness. We open doors to fresh air and light.

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Yes or No?

We're always making choices. How we will use our time, how we're going to get to our destination, what we're going to have for lunch, what colours should be used for our logo, what proposal should be dumped and which one should be taken up. Every step that we take presents us with an option of "Yes" or "No".

All these decisions, or in the case of some of us, in-decision, affects our happiness. How consciously do we make our choices? What happens when we can't make a definite "Yes" or "No" is that we become stuck in the wilderness of "Maybe" land. When we spend too much time in this place, we allow others to decide how our lives should be led. Here we have no hope for fulfillment because when things go well, we can't take the credit. And when things go awry, we blame ourselves for trusting the judgement of another.

Imagine that your partner or friend prefers to watch a particular movie and you'd really like to see another but you don't say anything. You give your partner or friend a weak "maybe", "it doesn't matter" or a reluctant "oh ok?" Later, you feel resentful and angry because this always seems to happen and you "never get to see the movie that you want to see."

Sometimes we justify this by believing that we don't assert ourselves because we are easy-going or generous. If this is the case, then why do we subsequently feel lousy and on the losing end?

Now, asserting yourself doesn't mean being demanding or unreasonable. By all means, empower yourself by expressing your feelings clearly, but be ready to negotiate or occasionally give in or come to a compromise. The important thing is simply to make your feelings known. Hiding behind a mask of indifference creates a lot of inner tension which may explode in the future.

It's very important to empower yourself to make conscious choices to create the relationships and life that you want. A lot of people feel anger and resentment toward others but what they're actually feeling is resentment towards themselves for not having the courage to go for what they really want.

Whenever you're faced with a decision, take the time to go within yourself and ask yourself what you really want. Is it true that it doesn't matter? Is it something you can take lightly? Or something you feel strongly about? When you evaluate your options consciously and express your feelings clearly, you'll feel more empowered, and as a result, move confidently toward creating the kind of relationships and life that you want.