28/4/06

What are the signs of stress?

Staring at open spaces with lots of thoughts flying through mind but don't remember what they are exactly.

Stuck at an action for a long time and wonder why cannot move. (e.g. brain says "get that spoon from the kitchen. Walk walk walk, reach the place.... system halt...halt...halt....)

Eat a bit and stomach feels bloated.

Hands weak. Shaking while holding items of moderate weight.

Body says:" go play games".... mind says:" Diam diam"

A preference for sour things (is it just me? I'm not pregnant hor)
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I can't wait for work to start. I am really sick of trying to fight with people when i know i don't stand a chance. But I can't stop myself from wanting to fight... what an irony. I'm getting really tired. sigh.

When work starts, my attitude will be.... just perform enough to be a moderate performer. Just do whats required and nothing more. How abt promotion? I don't care. Higher position, more work, less life, less hair, shorter life span. Will be looking to weekend band when work starts.

First resolution when work starts.... get my Japanese language going. 2 books sitting there collecting dust.

Second resolution..... practice more guitar pieces for self shiokness

Third resolution..... Time for korean sad songs on piano (electric keyboard to replace it).

Forth resolution..... Scream the hell out of my lungs in KTV sessions.

Fifth resolution..... start to compose pieces that are up to professional level (1 piece a month?)

Sixth resolution..... Start to earn enough for my first home (HDB) with 1 punching sand bag hang somewhere, 1 entertainment room (KTV, movie, PS3, EUphonium.. not flute!), an area for peace, greenery, and quietness.

More to come....

What is wealth?
Wealth is a state of mind where you do not have to worry for money. Earn enough, live poor. That is the key. Countries need savings for growth. Personally, savings is needed for safety, a pre-requisite for self actualization.

What keeps people living on?
Hope. It is a state of mind that let someone have something to look forward everyday. Be it a hope to give, a hope to receive.

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Few years ago, I came up with a home collection and home delivery laundry idea. I can't believe I really see it starting up. Someone came by the door to give advertisements. Hmm... i don't know if this business started after i develop my idea of before. Haa perhaps I think too highly of myself again.

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And you bloody people out there who have all the pass year resources you need for exams!! You better be repent! You got the bloody face to use notes and information not prepared by your ownself for exam. Consider a disgrace on your own ability. You depended on other people. You get top class help from pass year people. ARE YOU BLOODY USING YOUR OWN ABILITIES TO FACE THE EXAMS?? ARE YOU USING YOUR OWN ABILITIES TO PROVE THAT YOU DESERVE THE CERT YOU DESERVE. You bloody hell.

Yes, I'm jealous, because there hasn't been an equal playing ground since the start of the university life. You guys group together, get outside specialist help, get all the help you can find. Exams are like that, projects are also like that. You ask yourself if you are having a clear consciencious getting that bloody A grade you have. If any of you sees this. I am challenging you. Prepare your own notes, prepare your own information, using your own skills, using your own abilities, face the exam using your own ability. Bloody idiots.

Throughout these 3 years, I've been depending on my own ability, for all projects, exams and class preparation. I know I can be considered stupid and dumb to not find outside source for help. But this is a challenge for myself. At the end of the day, I celebrate my own achievements. Even if I just get a pass the bloody uni with no honours. Its my own achievements. ALL THOSE GOONS GOONS OUT THERE.... IF YOU ONLY LIVE ON OTHER PEOPLE'S ACHIEVEMENTS.... YOU BLOODY HELL JUST GO JUMP DOWN 70 story from that BUILDING AND SLEEP UNDER CITY HALL.

NUFF SAID!! REPENT!