9/01/06

Dinner is so tasty, even though its already cold, and its just a normal mixed rice at 2.50 bucks. Reason being..... My stomach was empty since 12pm today and I didn't eat. I forgotten to bring my wallet out!! Well even so, I have learnt something from today's experience. Everyone will have to work to have something to eat. The feeling of having no money is really something to experience. I bet its something those rich people would never experience. The feeling..... unexplainable.

Ok, I received appraisals from my team ICs. What my friends saw today, was only one side. The other appraisal i received is really bad haaa. But then I'm not angry cuz that IC might have appraised me based on my actual performance. Anyway, as long as I don't outperform and don't underperform, I'm contented. My new principle," a normal person"

So happy to be back in office because I can see my friends again, especially those who really know me. Well, haaa one who know me for a while and seems to know me alot. Eiyo, you can read minds? dangerous haaa.

Actually, I'm not unhappy. I'm just so numb to unhappy things until they become so normal for me. Then i won't feel unhappy when those bad things happens. Well, isn't that great? Yup. I hope to stay this way. Being negative makes positive things look even better. Being hungry makes tasteless rice taste like seafood.

Slice of Life

Forgiveness Therapy

When someone hurts you, there is nothing you can do to undo or reverse the hurt. You might feel that retaliation can assuage your pain, that your suffering can be made worthwhile by causing injury to your attacker, but it only keeps you stuck in a place of hatred. The grudges you harbour are like an anchor that keeps you weighted down. If you continue to hold an intense grievance, you are giving what happened in the past the power to determine your present emotional well being. Until you forgive, you will be victimized over and over again, trapped in an emotional prison, unable to move on with the rest of your life.

But do you really believe in forgiveness? Are some injuries so grievous that they should not be forgiven? Murder, for example? Or an extra marital affair? Or can everything, ultimately, be soothed by the balm of amnesty? Each one of us will have a different view of the extent and scope of forgiveness. But in order to get on with our lives, we all have to try. Even the parents of Protestant and Catholic families in Northern Ireland whose children had been killed by each other, had to find some way to reject the cycle of violence and embrace peace. Studies have shown that there are measurable benefits to forgiveness:

For instance, forgiving is good for your health. Studies show that people who forgive more readily report fewer health problems while people who blame others for their troubles have a higher incidence of illness such as cardiovascular disease and cancers.

Forgiving is good for your peace of mind. Studies of divorced people show that those who forgave their former spouse were healthier emotionally than those who chose not to forgive. The forgivers had a higher sense of well being and lower anxiety and depression.

If you're trying to forgive, but find it extremely difficult, don't be too hard on yourself. Remember, forgiveness is a process - it takes time and patience. You must be ready. Realize that forgiveness is for you - not for anyone else.

You also have to understand that forgiving does not mean you are condoning the actions of the offender or what they did to you. It does mean that you will blame less and find a way to think differently about what happened to you.

Forgiveness gives you the chance to leave the bad things in the past, and refocus on the positives in your life. To invest more time, energy and love on the people and things you still have.

Remember, a life well lived is the best revenge.

Slice of Life

Empowering Others

Delegating is a commonly misunderstood concept. Delegating is not about dumping problems or chores you dislike doing onto the shoulders of others; it's an invaluable tool for motivating and training your team to realize their full potential.

We have the ability to assist another person in capitalizing on their full potential. This person could be your spouse, your child or co-worker.

How many thousands of dollars do people spend on motivational tapes, programs, workshops, coaches, and training seminars on learning how to make best use of our abilities? Most people want true fulfillment, in all areas of life.

Therefore, it benefits you and your loved ones to learn how to delegate.

Make sure this person knows what you want done, that they can actually complete the task, and they know how to do it.

Many people worry that if they let others do a job for them, they will lose control or the job will not be completed as well as you would have done it.

When you think about tasks you can delegate, decide what is "good enough". Don't judge others based on your own benchmarks. You'll soon see how happy people are to help you and how good they feel doing a job that requires them to make their own decisions. They feel empowered and your confidence in them only helps.

Give your children a chance at loading or unloading the laundry. Allow your spouse to guide you to your destination using the street directory. Assign a special project to your subordinates at work. Even a toddler can help set the table. The cutlery may not be in the right places, but one day they will get there! You're laying an important foundation.

So empower your loved ones today. Delegate some jobs that they can feel proud completing.

Slice of Life

Motivating Your Team

We're all aware of how important teamwork is. An inspired team, working together toward a clearly defined goal, can accomplish tremendous results. But how do you get all co-workers to pull together and realize they are a vital link in a much bigger picture?

Remember that individuals make a team. Individual contributions add up to the greater whole. Ask for the team's ideas and suggestions and base specific goals on these. Be sure each team member understands his/her role in the overall plan.

Communicate clearly. Present information in an organized, easy-to-follow way. Make it clear; communication within the group is a two-way process. Acknowledge everyone's thoughts, ideas and fears equally. And above all, be honest.

Be a good example. Maintain firm, fair and clearly understood standards. Tackle unpleasant tasks as soon as possible. If criticism is necessary, make it constructive. Keep emotions in check.
Delegate. No one can do everything. Understand which jobs don't need your personal touch and trust them to someone else. Match jobs to skills and abilities, providing necessary training and encouragement. Provide goals and guidelines.

Accept change. Discuss changes - also suggested changes - with your team thoroughly. Reassure team players that the changes are positive, clearly pointing out the benefits. Encourage all members to express their feelings about what's happening and tend to wounded egos appropriately.

Praise with specifics. Focus on performance and behaviour and not on the person. Do it regularly and in a timely fashion.