25/11/04

Its just another sad day. I can't remember what i wanted to say. I'll try to recall as I go along. I started the day by doing some practice on my keyboard. Tried to play the Song "I Believe" cuz i want to believe that I can play haha. But no... spent 1 plus hour on page 1 hmm. Piano isn't easy eh. Hee.

Oh ya, I wanted to say that my dream yesterday was a wierd one. Wierd it is. But its a nice one. Romantic walk in the rain. But...... the other person.... hmm not one who I would see normally, not even 3 times in a year. Wierd. Romantic part is one, the other part is a joke, can't say its frightening, can't say its funny. I guess dreams can be quite out of the world. Anyway the other part is a shopping experience haha. Can't believe that I can remember my dream till now.

My afternoon turned out to be a disaster. I thought me and my mum has reconciled, but things go worst. Must be the Macdonalds. Me, my mum and dad went to macdonalds to have our lunch. And things happened...... ah can't be bothered to type it. Forget it.

After that, I went out again. Don't feel like staying at home. So i went to Bishan Junction 8 for a walk. There are quite a number of upgrades in that shopping complex. Extensions are made, so the place looked a bit bigger now. Nothing much happened to me there. I enjoyed the walk in the Super market. Always do. Too bad the arcade is no longer there anymore. Looking at the clothes tells me that I should start buying new clothes. I always wear the same things over and over again. I am lazy to think of what to wear, thats why. I better change, or else people might start to go," huh, him with the same clothes again."

While I'm on the bus home, I started to feel something inside again. This time my mind came up with the melody of "My Memories" but..... not in the romantic form, but in a Minor scale form. It creates a picture of complete despair, even deeper than the sea. I wanted to compose the despair form of "My memories" and called it "Lawrence's Memories" but..... I don't want to spoil the original memory of "My memories". Getting confused? hahaa

I received a letter from MOE regarding my fees as an instructor in a school band. A few weeks back, I found that a sum of money was credited into my bank for no reason. It was from MOE, so I thought money dropped from the sky. At that point in time, I thought MOE made a mistake or the School had made a mistake in the claiming form. I really don't know what to do.

I told one of my friend about this matter, and he gave me some advice. He is studying in ACCA, aspiring to be a professional accountant. So, he tell me that I have to act ethically regarding this matter. Unaccounted funds can be a very dangerous thing. Well, I'm training as an accountant as well, so he hit some keys in my mind. He advice me to call MOE and tell them about this matter immediately, but I decided to wait for them to find out because things haven't been clear yet. I have used what I learnt in my school and applied to this kind of matter.

I guess I didn't present my arguments to my friend very clearly, thats why some debate took place during our conversation. Actually the first thing I told him was to ask myself whether there are legal implications regarding the matter. Then he told me that just by looking at legal considerations will create a big havoc regarding accounting treatments to many transactions.... and so I have to act ethically. I forgot to tell him that legal implications is the first question, even if theres no implications, it doesn't mean that I can act unethically. There are still second stage, and third stage to past, before a decision is made. So I did. I made use of all the stages and questions and made this decision.... wait.

One thing I told him that knocked myself off the chair is that," You are a final yr student in ACCA, that means you are 80% clensed in your mind, while I still have 1.5 yrs to go before i graduate, so I am 50% clensed only" Haha. Joke.

Anyway I made a right decision. Today I received this letter that proved my legal title in the claiming of the sum of money. I realised that the money relates back to the service I provided in July (SO long!!). In my mind, I have already treated those money as unrecoverable debts, because due to some reason, the teacher-in-charge might forget or delay the claiming process, and might cause my fees to be unclaimable. Hmm unrecoverable debts are recovered, and its a pleasant surprise. How do I record this in my financial statements? Debit, debtor a/c, Cash, and credit P&L, Debtor a/c.... faint. Haha

Hey my friend, G, don't say I not ethical anymore ok?? heee

Slice of Life

"Living a Guilt-Free Life

Guilt is one of the worst experiences known to us. It makes us feel unworthy and miserable. However, guilt itself is not a real "feeling". It's caused by judging ourselves or when someone else judges us, and we think that we have done something "wrong". A child does not feel "guilty" until someone tells him that he has hurt someone.

Therefore, "feeling guilty" is a conditioned response, not an authentic feeling. In other words, we are taught to feel bad and thus guilty when someone judges us. This judgment can be about anything, such as how we dress, how we move, how we think, what we do. For many children these days, it's how well they perform in school. Unrealistically high expectations from parents can make a child feel inadequate and afraid to take risks.

The truth is, there is no "right" way to dress, think or do! And although examinations are necessary for the education system, academic accomplishments are by no means a gauge for how talented your child is or how successful he or she will be later in life. Benchmarks, standards, norms, they all stifle creativity!

Now, the next time someone is offended by your behaviour and is accusing you of doing something wrong, remember this: When a person judges you as wrong, they are in fact, defending against their own feelings. Your behaviour has reminded that person of certain feelings inside them that they are suppressing. They are upset with you for putting them in touch with those feelings and they seek to regain control by making you feel bad. This is a very important point to understand - people use guilt to control others.

The thing about guilt is that, once you're entangled in it, no resolution is possible. It pulls you in different directions at the same time while you remain stuck in the same place. This has a very de-energising effect. You feel you have to remain miserable because you feel you should be punished for doing something wrong.It's easy to see why this sort of thinking is pointless and unhealthy. If you feel that you have done something you really regret, apologise and stop doing it. Punishment doesn't resolve anything. Identify the mistake, learn from it and move forward. Unlike feeling guilt, taking responsibility for your actions is empowering and educational.

So stop accepting judgments from yourself or from others. Honour your own needs and feelings instead of making them wrong. Feeling your real feelings will help you understand what's best for you instead what you've been conditioned to believe."


Tomorrow, I have to travel to 2 schools haha. Next week will be my busiest week.