9/6/06

Making Your Brain More Receptive

You've probably heard that the more often you tell yourself something, positive or negative, the more your brain begins to believe it. Consequently, your state of mind, feelings, actions, and relationships with the people and things around you can be influenced by your self-talk. Some people refer to this as NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Essentially, change what you tell yourself and you can change your life.

Did you know that you can make your brain more receptive to the positive material you wish to input? By altering your brain waves, you can bring it into a state where it is most likely to absorb and retain information.

One simple way to alter our brain waves is through sound. In 1973, Dr. Gerald Oster discovered that if we hear different frequencies in each ear, the brain resonates at a frequency that is the difference between the two tones. A perceptual integration of the two signals takes place, producing a "third beat" frequency. Depending on the frequency of this "third beat", the effect may be relaxing or stimulating. So we can actually create optimum conditions for our best thinking and highest creativity.

You've probably heard that listening to Mozart while studying makes learning more effective. Or perhaps you've felt utterly relaxed in a hotel lobby that pipes in classical music. What about so-called "chill-out" music? Why do you think it helps you unwind?

Tapes or CDs that help you sleep capitalise on this principle. While you listen to them, your brain is slowly locking into resonance with what you're hearing, abandoning dissonant thoughts, and focusing gradually on the pattern or form with which it is most in sync. Before you know it, you've dropped off into slumber.

Such aural patterns are not only found in music. Cultures around the world have incorporated this principle into their rituals and prayers for centuries. Certain kinds of drumming, singing and chanting have been known to alter brain waves.

Many natural environments also offer ideal conditions for optimum brain receptivity. You've always known that certain natural sounds, like a waterfall, the rustling of leaves, the gentle patter of raindrops, birdsongs and ocean waves are relaxing, right? Well now you know why. So immerse yourself regularly in environments which enable your brain to absorb information more spontaneously. Play some Mendelssohn, or some spiritual music. Find a quiet spot by the beach. Walk up Bukit Timah Hill. Input positive material. Tell yourself good things, the things that you want to believe. And you'll be doing what great thinkers have done for thousands of years.

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STORIES - The Empty Soap Box

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.

The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason unknown to them, one soap box managed to go through the assembly line empty.

Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. The engineers worked feverishly to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty.

No doubt it was a moderately viable solution but they spent a phenomenal amount of money and resources to develop and implement this idea.

Amidst all this fuss, when a rank-and-file employee came to hear about this problem, he offered management a jaw-droppingly simple solution: point a strong industrial electric fan at the assembly line. As the soap boxes pass the fan, any empty ones simply get blown off the line.

When confronted with problems in life, most of us fret and worry about how to find the best fix for it. We imagine the solution to be difficult and complex when sometimes, it's really quite simple. So the next time you're faced with a problem, don't instinctively reach for your engineers and analyst and experts or the expert in you, try looking at it from other ways and discover a simple answer.

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Stress Reduction for You and Your Kids (Part 1)

We're always hearing about how children are naturally happy, that they are generally immune to worry and guilt. Well, that might be true, but only until we grown-ups teach them how to be stressed. Our children look to us parents for appropriate behaviour, to learn what's right, what's wrong, how to react to certain stimuli and so on. In this way, we are also their role models for stress reduction. If we cannot manage our own stress levels, our kids in turn will not be able to deal with their own stress effectively.

A lot of stress is really self-inflicted. We may blame the high cost of living, competition, social expectations and so on for our crazy schedules but ignoring our own part in it is irresponsible and disempowering. Many of us lead exhausting lives because we overbook our schedules. We just try and cram in too much. We convince ourselves that certain things have to done by certain times and when they fall through, we feel guilty or inadequate.

We do that to our children's schedules too. Enrolling children in too many extracurricular activities can really stress them out. Generally speaking, kids seem to gain more satisfaction from focusing on a few interests that they truly enjoy. Just like adults, they tend to suffer physically and emotionally when they spread themselves too thin. Besides, if you allow your children to focus their energy on a handful of their favourite hobbies, say tennis and piano, they will continuously gain more and more skills in these areas, which will in turn boost their self-esteem.

Before you can learn to understand how stress is affecting your child, you need to know how to ask the right questions. How you ask your questions are also crucial. It's great to ask your young children some open-ended questions about school or camp or daycare, but proceed sensitively - listen carefully and look for cues about their anxiety level. Don't push your kids into areas in which they feel uncomfortable. Young children are natural storytellers and they will tell you about their experiences in school, with friends, teachers and other important subjects when they are ready. So very often it's best to gently nudge them in the appropriate direction and let them initiate the story-telling process.

You want to make them understand that stress is normal and that there is always something that can be done to get the levels down. Your children will pick up your calm, positive energy or your nervous, negative energy so focus on managing your own stress effectively. Allow them to see how you do it, and they will naturally learn and internalize these habits. And don't make the mistake of thinking that working excessively hard is necessarily going to help your kids. If you break down, who's going to help them?

In the next programme, we'll talk about some ways you can reduce stress in your life as well as in your children's lives.

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Stress Reduction for You and Your Kids (Part 2)

In the last programme, we talked about how children naturally observe and pick up their parents' habits. So if you're a nervous wreck, your children will probably crumble when they're stressed too. Here are some ways you can reduce your own stress, and in turn teach your child, by example, how anxiety can be minimized.

Simplify your home life in as many ways as possible. Very often our lives are chaotic because we simply do not take the time to organize them. Concentrate on a few key tasks and do them efficiently. Shut down your computer after a certain time in the evening and spend the rest of the day engaging with your children.

Minimize the level of "emotional drama" in your life. We can't stop exhausting or toxic people from entering our lives from time to time, but we can stop ourselves from thinking about them after the episodes have past. Let go of the meanness and nastiness that they've left in your hearts every now and again. This teaches your kids that they don't have to keep odious people in their lives. And also that they need not become bitter and hateful themselves.

When your children are around, always turn to your spouse when you need a friend to talk to. This shows them that a good and lasting marriage is possible when both parties can confide in one another without turning to outside sources. Ask for different perspectives, funny stories or a fun experience. And most importantly, laugh as often you can!

Another great way to de-stress is to perspire! Take your children out for a walk, a run, a swim or a game. Our bodies naturally retune themselves when the endorphins start flowing.

Also don't be afraid to spend time on what you love doing. Encourage your children to develop some hobbies and interests of your own. For example, if you find writing poetry or coming up with ridiculous recipes de-stressing, don't be embarrassed about it! A lot of the stress we give ourselves is from the holding back and worrying about what others might think of us.

And begin and end your day as calmly as possible. Make it a point to get up perhaps five or ten minutes earlier so you don't have to rush. Spend the extra time just breathing deeply with your eyes closed. Do this with your children. Ask about their dreams, their hopes. Talk about how blessed you are, to be healthy, to have one another, a beautiful home, a mind to learn new things, a heart to love. Take mental snapshots of you giving thanks for all that you have and keep them in your mind.

6/6/06

today is 6/6/06. A new beginning after seeing my horrendous exam results. I think fate is just wanting me to continue to work hard. He knows that I might get arrogant if i get first class, so I am fated to stay as an average guy, a normal 2nd class person. And truly, I accept it. No problem. I will think of other ways to compensate for my lack of intelligence. From today on, fight fight fight. My spirit of fighting hasn't stop yet. I will continue to work even harder.

A call from my future work place called, asking me what honours i get. I felt a pinch when i said "2nd uppers". Yes pinch. So, don't ever ask me what i got.

tahts about it

6/6/06

I just changed my blog address. I don’t want my close friends or those who I know to read my blog. I want to type my true feelings, totally and clearly without hiding feelings. I want to use words that is direct and my kind of words. I want to say what I usually wouldn’t say. This new blog add is to remind myself that i am really such a failure. Even if i work so hard, i couldn't get the results i wanted.

My exam results came out, and to my horror, no distinctions at all. I cannot accept it. I really can't. The effort i've put in. The energy that i put it. I don't want to care how other people fare. I just want to know why didn't I do as well? I am really not an elite. I live an average person's life. I can't proceed on to the higher level. And all i got was just a stupid 2nd class honours.

I got mixed feelings. On one side, I feel happy because i will not be judged as a 1st class honours holder (more stress). On the other hand, I just don't know why i can't beat those other guys. I really don't know why i want to compare. Its just my innate feeling that I must be better than others. I cannot lose to others. I must win them. Fight for glory and honour. I don't qualify as first class just because I can't do the stupid exam well. Good attitude doesn't get you anywhere right?

One weird phenomenum. Although I didn't get any distinction for my core modules. I managed to get it for the business core which is not my core! My only Distinction this sem is the bloody hell fixed income securities. I totally cannot understand. I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY. AM I in the wrong course? My derivative securities, my equity securities module, then now my fixed income modules. I GOT DIstinction for all of them!! Why Why why??? I didn't put in alot of effort for fixed income. Why i can get? Why my audit, my advance accounting, my political econs cannot get?!??!?! I am totally devastated. I dread when people ask me.

How am I going to face my future employers? If they ask me why is it like this, I couldn't answer. I started my Uni life as a lousy student, getting only 2 distinctions. Then during year 2, I fly and got more distinctions, and reached a crescendo in year 2 sem 2. THen i started to fall.... slowly, gently and here comes i land like an exhausted idiot. I worked so hard during year 3 and yet..... I don't understand.

Its time for me to really type all my feelings out, details and everything. No one will know that I've changed my blog add. I will not tell anyone about this. For those who reads this, you are someone whom I don't know. I don't mind cuz we most probably don't meet each other at all.

For those who I know and found this blog add. please.... don't let me know. Keep it to yourself. I want to vent all my things here.

THe end of my uni life and i ended up with a 2nd upper honours. I fought so hard during the last sem to see if i can squeeze into the 1st class. To my horror, no distinctions at all despite having all As for class participation and projects. What a joke. So, i'm bad in exam. SO?!?? darn. I can't stand exams.

Did I cry? Yes I did. And it was a fast 15 mins. After that, I don't feel the pinch. I thought it was quite fast. I can't believe myself. I was ok and went to play my maple story after that.

There were a few friends who msged me but, i gave them the hard response. Sorry i was mean but... i don't feel proud about my results.

I once promised my family that i'll bring them to good restaurant if i get first class honours. There goes..... I'll just remain as second class. Always second to the first. Live an average life and work like an average person. Stop wanting to fight. "YOU ARE JUST AN AVERAGE PERSON!" CASE CLOSE.

4/6/06

going down with sore throat. I bet the fever is coming soon too. Anyway I'll still be mapling. Its 12am now. I need to sleep haa. Talk less. Oh ya, went for band today. After 1 week of training at home, i feel like i can soar my sound with wings. Cool right haa. Ok sleep.

Slice of life

5 Habits of Extraordinary People

Most of us would never choose to be average. But many of us continue to under-perform and remain stagnant because we don't actively think about and do what would elevate us above mediocrity. So the first step really, is to emphatically reject mediocrity and the idea of "just getting by". Commit to developing these habits that extraordinary people share:

# 1: Build a vision or focus. Where do you see yourself heading? What do you want to improve? Do you want to own a business? Do you want to build a closer bond with your family members? Do you want to have a fitter body? Are you planning a dream retirement? Schedule activities everyday that help you along this path.

# 2: Break out of your molds and routines. What do you say when people ask you questions to which you don't know or are unsure of the answers? Do you simply say "I don't know"? Successful people never say "I don't know". Their creative and quick-thinking minds reach into their mental stores to fashion a plausible answer, usually more than one. They may not be right all the time, but this trains their minds to think fast and develop creative, alternative solutions. Successful people like to think that there is always a way and that they will find it. These people disdain tried and tested methods and conforming to society's ideals of what they should be.

# 3: Regularly take time to rest, unwind, and enjoy life and the gifts that have been given to them. They know when to take a step back or out of the circle to see the bigger picture. Mediocre people, on the other hand, are always telling you how busy they are, how they have no space to breathe and relax. In reality, these people are afraid to stop and examine where all this frantic comes from. This blur of "busyness" is a cover for a humdrum, run-of-the-mill, ordinary existence.

# 4: Welcome and embrace change. Extraordinary people understand that change is necessary for growth and life and they look forward to it, even being part of the force that brings about change. They don't react to the world, they evolve dynamically with it. They love new experiences and thinking about how things could be made better.

# 5: Believe that happiness comes from within themselves and not from outside sources. Extraordinary people don't believe that a certain thing or person will bring happiness, and they don't wait to be happy. They don't think "I'll be happy when?". They strive to find joy wherever they are.

3/6/06

A day which seems like a family gathering with aunties. Ah, a guy (me), with mum, and 2 aunts. Went to visit a relative who seems to be those granny granny category. We are not very close to relatives so i don't even know which family line that granny belongs to. Anyway, just very sad when i heard so much about that granny. Sigh. Everyone needs to be fillial (cannot spell.)

We went for breakfast at a dim sum shop along.... donno what road. Then for lunch haa. Its Mayim in westmall. Hello... ordered more than 10 dishes for 4 person.... My stomach nearly exploded. Well i won't complain cuz I don't have to pay anything haaa. I guess my aunt is really successful to retire at 45. I can't believe it.

Me, on the other hand, will not want to retire so early. Rot life sia. Work till the day i die haaa. Maybe i'll die early but, I'll not have an empty life.

Time for maple now.

2/6/06

Auntie came my house.. taught how to convert cd into mp3 and transfer to mp3 player. Got a free 4 piece chicken from Macdonalds for that.

Watched korean show again. I have to wait until next monday for the next episode. Waiting just drives people crazy. So, reunion. "O genki desu ka?" I didn't know this question can be pictured so nicely.

Too much connection. Just like what i'll do. Wish them all the best. I just hope the story ends before my work starts..... I got a feeling, its not going to end so sooon. Buy vcd??? sigh. I'm so stuck to it haaa. My motivation for everyday. Ohhhh I'm such a loser haaa.

"Watashi mo......"

Slice of Life

Job Satisfaction

Many people turn a beloved hobby into a vocation. They have a gift, a talent screaming for _expression. It means doing something that they love. And they feel empowered by it.

However, this newfound empowerment is inside the person, not in the changing of careers. How can you feel empowered if you are already successful in your work but feel discontented?

There is a big difference between believing in something and deeply experiencing the same thing. An old _expression suggests, "It will not help to believe in ladders unless you climb one." Many people are highly skilled, successful, and competent in their work. They are intellectually aware of their value. However, they do not experience the internal satisfaction and contentment that they want and deserve.

So how can we achieve job satisfaction?

First, check your motivations for being in your career. Success is the result of skills, actions, and choices. It is not however, a reason for remaining in one place. Just because you've achieved success in your current job doesn't mean you can't go on to achieve similar or greater successes in other endeavours.

Catch a partner or co-worker doing something great each day. Verbally acknowledge the dedication and value that they contribute. Use sincere words and actions to show colleagues that they are valuable. Share your goals with others, and express sincere appreciation for their participation. We build trust-worthy relationships by joining with our peers in cooperative activities. Showing appreciation for others will reflect back and enrich your experiences.

Focus on your value by challenging yourself to make improvements each day. Nourish and maintain yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. Discontentment may simply be a warning sign of burn out.

We can be both successful and content with our lives and careers. We create the most meaningful monuments from the love and enthusiasm we have for our work. Create a monument everyday by doing what you love and focusing on the value you bring to others. Acknowledge also the value that others contribute to your life and career. These actions coupled with a healthy, balanced lifestyle can add contentment and improved relationships to your career beginning today.

1/6/06

Now is 6.35am. I couldn't sleep (sounds familiar to someone?). Perhaps I ate too full last dinner? My mind was too active? Was it the weather too hot? Or was it other things going through my mind? I play too much maple? (cuz keep having the maple image in my mind. Oh no!!
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Went for NUS band lower brass section outing. So coincident to see someone (who i know and suppose to go for the outing too) SLEEPING on the bus. So with my powerful fingers, I give her a poke on the shoulder. SURPRISE!! Ha, siao. I worry of getting lost in Holland V disappeared. Super!

I gave up NUS band practice for the korean show. I will not... for any reason, skip any episode. This is my vow. No matter what. You can only stop me by killing me. I'm in love with that show now. Now she know who he is. Wonder what happens next. Anticipation.

As for maple, I managed to chiong to level 40 now. 10 more levels to go within 18 days. Can I make it? I donno sia. sigh.

Slice of Life

Two Pebbles

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender, an old, ugly and devious character.

Knowing that the farmer did not have the resources to pay him back, the moneylender proposed a bargain - he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified.

In an attempt to appear honourable, the moneylender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. The girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be pardoned. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into his bag.

The moneylender then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, when faced with such a sudden and sticky situation, how was the girl going to untangle herself and her father? Most of us would arrive at three options:

1. The girl could refuse to take a pebble. Her father would be imprisoned as a result.

2. The girl could show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat. But then, the moneylender could still demand that the debt be paid up.

3. The girl could pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

What would you recommend?

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble was black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender couldn't admit his dishonesty, he grudgingly forgave the farmer's debt.