31/3/06

"对我的宽容其实是更多的痛苦。 坦白的面对我才是痛苦的解脱。如果是事实，就不需要躲。"

When busy days are about to pass, the practical side of me slowly subsides, giving more space for the other side to act upon my thoughts. Pain it is and it brings me a thought that I should make myself as busy as possible so that I leave no time for my thoughts to wonder around. Its as painful as can be. Leave no time for me to breathe, then I might live a little happier.

Throughout these years, I've come to understand more about myself. And I am not the person who I thought I am. There are so many beliefs shattered, there are so many traits reformed. And I am quite ashame to know what the kind of person I am today. I shan't be explicit here.

Its dinner time. Eat and shut my mind up. Thats all I'll do.

30/3/06

Things have ended for 304. So many hiccups. But those hiccups didn't seem to have killed us. We were happy with the outcome and surprisingly, we were spared from exceeding time by super super lot.

I abit dieded for 312. No energy after 304. I think I should rest a while before starting on 312 presentation. 30mins should be enough. SO tired.

One major hiccup for me during the 304 was the failure of the video clip. LUCKILY, luckily, i am prudent enough to copy the original unedited file into my harddisk as well, together with the edited one. When the edited one didn't turn out to be playable, the non-edited one came in at the right time (luckily its still presentable). My heart nearly fainted when we were trying the video.... sigh. But I'm going to post up the edited one, die die.

Oh ya, I donno why the edited one was 500 over MB, and its only 1 minute!! I wonder if its my software.... So bad? Got any better movie making software? I kinda like video editing!! heee. Recommend me okie. Hee I got good artistic mind hee. Even took care of the angle of shooting, lightings and script. muahhahaa Sorry, so BHB. Yes!! it ended!!

Slice of Life

STORIES - The Emperor and the Horseman

A long time ago, in Ancient China, there lived an Emperor.

His estate was vast and bountiful, with rich fields, sprawling hills, herds of robust cattle, and hardworking folk. His people were a contented lot. They toiled all day, farming and tilling the lands, which they did not own. But they had strong, loving families, healthy minds and bodies, and were happy to serve their benevolent lord.

The Emperor lived in an opulent palace, with more maids and soldiers than one could count. He had several horsemen, whose main duties were to act as messengers and runners, plying the immense stretches of China on their trusty steeds.

There was one horseman whom the Emperor specially favoured. He was young and hardy, skilled in martial arts, with a burning ambition and maturity which belied his age. He was also the fastest rider in the country.

After successfully carrying out an especially difficult task for his master, the horseman was called into the Main Court to receive his reward.

The Emperor said to him, "You are undisputably the fastest rider in the kingdom. I have heard that you even rival the mighty winds. As such, I shall make you an unusual offer. Cover as much land as you can on your horse, and that much of land will be yours."

The horseman was consumed by greed and joy. He thought, "What an opportunity! The Emperor has no idea how much land he is about to lose to me!"

Without delay, he jumped onto his horse and sped off, leaving a trail of sand and dust.

The horseman rode and rode, beating his horse constantly. As he rode, he thought nothing of exhaustion and hunger, his mind focusing madly on the large area of land he would cover.

After several days, after he had covered a substantial amount of land, the horseman finally gave in to hunger and fatigue, and collapsed. With his dying breath, he contemplated aloud, "I have been so eager to get as much land as I could, and thought nothing of my health. Now, I'm dying, and only need a small amount of land with which to bury myself."

29/3/06

I just so excited about tomorrow's presentation that i donno what to type. I'll type tomorrow. muahhaa

28/3/06

Just when I was about to reach home, I received a phone call. Something happened. Luckily my mum wasn't injured in anyway... I hope. JB is still an unsafe place. Thats why I've always told people that Singapore is the best place. I will live here till the day I'm gone. I have alot of passion for this country and I'm glad I'm in Singapore.

Work seems to got cleared up day by day. I still don't have any idea about translation of numbers!!! So how? When there is a realised exchange gain or losses in the P&L statement, do you translate the exchange gain or losses into the parent's reporting currency? Also, if accounts payable is adjusted to closing rate in the subsidiaries' books, do we need to translate the adjusted balance? These questions must be answered!! I feel so uncomfortable. Its not point memorizing what rate to use for what items in what method of translation. Damn.

6 more days and I'll be a free man from projects and reports. Then I'll turn into the ultimate mugger who might eat books if I cannot understand things. Munch Munch.!!

27/3/06

"怎么不见了？"

I just saw super presentation done by my friends. Its a big WOW for me. The power of sisters, 姐妹党。Super!

I need to manage my mind, switching between 2 projects. Hard to focus. Kept on questioning "what am i suppose to do now?, what should i do now? what have i left out?"

I'm in a mess. After this week, I'll be fine, hopefully.

Although I'm in this bad situation, I remember that I have another friend who is in a more serious deep shit. I can be considered fortunate?

26/3/06

Feeling so sick today. Just feel so sick with so many things in my head. I should be feeling the perk on the heavy workload but things just don't seems to go in my way. Just feeling sick, damn sick.

I finished my presentation slides for 304 and speech as well. But still, sick. Cuz I haven't see anything concrete about my 312 report. Wed is the handing up. Sick, damn sick.

And so many things that are damn sick. SICK.

I hate going out with a mind to kill people. 1 hr to going out and I don't know what can i do. I got so much things to study and..... crisis.... I need to relax.... EQ low haa.

25/3/06

Teach band fun, Band practice at night even more fun. Played funny pieces that made us laugh until we cannot play. The famous rat song. For primary school lah haa.

Time is really packed, even tighter now. If I'm the me thats 3 semester ago, I would have knock my head into the wall and announce myself dead. If not dead, I'll announce that I lose my memory due to shock to my brain and then i can don't care about anything. I just don't know where the calmness came from. Must be something I ate.

I need mental support. The only thing i pray now is that 312 please don't give me problems. Deadline in on wednesday mind you. Presentation for 304 is on Thursday. QUiz coming 2 weeks later. Sunday band public performance, following sat political band performance. tomorrow night watch concert, next friday watch concert. Oi, time time time, where are you? I didn't slack loh. I am making use every minute of my time doing something.

No TV, no radio, rush meals, no games, no casual talk to people, sit in front of desk once get home, parents talk to me i answer "yes" "no" "donno". What more can I do?

24/3/06

A concert day. So sleepy because this is the 2nd consecutive day that i'm going to sleep after 1 am. Sigh.

Concert was just so fun because I played without any stress. The pieces were just way below my tolerable toughness. The solo for Noak's Ark was just beautifully done but I felt that I was rather out-of-harmony when I was playing those holding notes. Well, not many people would detect it, so who cares!

This concert also signifies my last contribution to NUS band. Come to think of it, I started going to NUS band because of a deeper reason than what I've always told my friends. And the ending of my engagement with NUS band today with this concert is nullifies that reason. Somehow, discovery of certain things can bring sadness. But, I'm glad happiness has found others.

I'm glad to have gone there to play because I get to meet the most able "wife" there. The Eupho! I've also met alot of new friends, and I can really feel the difference of playing in a band with most of the people around your age group. Its good to feel senior than to feel young (Westwinds).

Weekends going to be busy as well. I haven't even prepare my PPt slides for my next week's presentation. I have to teach sectionals for a secondary school band tomorrow, westwinds rehearsal at night, then sunday got westwinds and watch concert (at least someone is accompanying me kudos! don't put aeroplane please). AHHHHHH time time time?????

Well, I'm going to end this by saying, Opportunities slip, need to grab hold. And I will be the person who needs to understand this.

23/3/06

昨日的风波再次平静。
一切好像下雨后出现的彩虹。
手上的承诺，我也看到了。
祝福的话我说不出口。
只能默默地希望快乐永在。

Hey FYP no more. Well, its time to celebrate. The whole group went for a meal, our first official meal together outside school. Sushi buffet!!! But, sushi will be a taboo for 1 month after that haaa. Took lots of funny photos and my first act cute look since a year ago!! (not that cute anyway).

I was so hyper today that i traumatise everyone with my stupid way of thinking and talking, twisting everything into joke and crazy ideas, putting chinese and hokkien lyrics into band music melodies, jumping and running here and there.

Another fun thing is that, one of the tuba friends in NUS band can play accompaniment on his tuba for whatever things you play. So it became a Eupho-karaoke session, playing all those chinese pop song. In the end, it sounded like we are ready for funeral services (CHOI!!).

Tomorrow still got meeting and lecture, then fly down to NUS loh. Where is lunch time? Argh...

Slice of Life

STORIES - A Friend's Evil Counsel

Once there was a man who beat his wife regularly. One day, after an especially heated argument, he underestimated his own strength and dealt a fatal blow.

Though he'd not intended to kill her, there his wife lay, lifeless, her eyes staring blankly at him.

The man began to panic. His wife had many relatives who visited them often.

In a state of agitation, he ran out of his house and bumped into an old friend.

"Hey! Why are you in such a hurry?" asked his friend.

Because the man trusted this friend, he told him about his predicament.

The friend thought about it for a moment, then with shifty eyes, whispered to him, "Here's what you can do - invite a young man to your house and kill him. Then, behead him and put his head next to your wife's corpse. Then, tell your wife's relatives that you had found them together in bed. Unable to control your anger, you slew them both!"

The man liked the idea and sat at his doorway in anticipation of a young man. After some time, a handsome youth passed by his house. The man invited him inside and beheaded him. T

hen he summoned his wife's relatives and told them about the scandal that never was. The relatives were horrified and saddened, but bought the story.

All was well then for the murderer, but his close friend was not so fortunate? for several days after the heinous lie was told, his son didn't come home. Frantically worried, the friend went to the murderer's house to seek counsel. The wife-beater told him not to worry, that his son was probably out having a good time, then asked his friend with a wicked grin if he'd like to see the dead bodies of the "adulterous" pair.

Not really caring at this point, the friend muttered something inaudible, but was promptly led to the hiding place of the bodies. On seeing the dead man's head, he let out a guttural cry?

It was the head of his handsome young son.

His evil advice had caused the death of his own son. The one who digs a pit for others often falls into it himself.

22/3/06

你的心还为谁留着？
你的泪还为谁掉落？
你的梦境还有谁的出现？
你的思念到底给了谁？

不说的一切象不开灯的房间。
冷冷的微风也吹过我双肩。
送不出去的玫瑰也一片一片的凋谢。
思不言，言无声，最后是离别。

痴心不一定是绝对。
天黑不一定会落泪。
寂寞的季节不一定害怕。
只能在一千年以后，才会有那么的一天。

若有劲敌，只能放弃，因为必定不是对手。
接受我的祝福，希望你能得到forever love.

From a set of serious words to 2 paragraphs of crap with lots of song title inside haa. See if you can detect some of them. I'm just too free. Actually not. I spent so much time just to do one translation question and in the end, I don't understand how to do..... I'm glad that I've finish my presentation.

Tomorrow is Thursday. A day for fun and enjoyment. I went for a jog today to prepare my body for tomorrow's BUFFET!! Not going to eat lunch tomorrow. Haaaa. Super Sushi!!.

Friday concert, Sat need to teach sec school band, sat night watch concert perf.... alone... argh, sun band prac..... where got time for work? Sigh. Worst still, next wed 20 pages report to hand up, thurs presentation.

Swim for survival.

One last note, I've downloaded tonnes of games from popcaps.com to train my reflex and mind. I've been reacting too slowly to information. I need a brain boost. Its mental exercise time soon.

21/03/06

Did I talk too much? Sometimes I get too carried away and talk to much, too loud, too bluntly. Is that the real me? Is that when I'm myself? I guess so. The ultimate suanner, the ultimate pickiness, the ultimate complain king. Wow super me.

I've been wasting my time donno doing what from 7.30pm to 10pm. Its true that when you can't live without computer, computer will start to drain life out of you. you'll start staring at screen without doing anything, you'll start clicking on things without knowing where you want are going, you'll start looking at more information without knowing their importance to you.

Ok concert is coming on Friday. I'm going to clear the work out of my mind before i go to play music. A heavy mind will produce heavy music. Sigh. Solo on friday... scared? erm.... yawn haaaa. But hope my complacency won't cause me to be over confident and make me fall during the performance haaa.


Slice of Life

Stress and the Kettle

The stress and frustration that we hold within ourselves is very much like the boiling water in a kettle. Many of us don't think about it, but pent-up stress accumulates and adds pressure until we finally blow our top. Like the water that finally boils and the steam makes the kettle whistle.

There are often disturbing things that we deal with, that instead of letting go, we dump into our kettle, the back of our minds and hearts. For example, working with someone who deliberately tries to make things difficult for you. All day long, things that affect us negatively get dumped into our sub-conscious instead of being dealt with consciously and released.

Now this is usually fine until we're caught in some situation that lights a fire under us. This causes our dormant feelings and emotions to begin heating up. You know what happens next - when we've had all we can take and the pressure inside us grows so much that it seeks an outlet, we blow. All the pent-up frustrations and emotions just push their way past our rational framework and explode.

Now it's crucial that we know how to manage stress, because stress is not only unpleasant, it damages relationships, careers, and your health. Just as the lime build-up accumulated from water sitting in the kettle begins to eat away at it from the inside, unreleased stress does the same to you. Gradually, what was once a strong and reliable kettle, becomes a worn, broken metal can fit for the garbage heap. You can't allow this to take place inside you so you've got to learn to release stress properly.

Oftentimes, we begin accumulating stress by not being upfront and clear with people we're dealing with, so we end up stuck with this negative energy. Whether with your partner, children, friends, colleagues, or even your boss, learn to be clear on your position concerning what you want done, or what can be expected of you. Let them know that "this works for me" or "this can't be done by this time unless something else gives".

We all sometimes find ourselves caught in situations that make our blood boil, but you must learn to either remove the heat source or remove yourself from it. Try not to stay in situations that keep increasing your pressure. You can walk away from a stressful situation. It's not cowardice - it's very simply, good sense. If you feel that something needs to be done about the situation, remember you can always return to it some other time, after you've cooled off or gone through the options you have, and so on.

And always remember that you need time for yourself. Take breaks from what you're doing - plan a relaxing vacation and don't just plan it, make sure you take it, take a long drive with friends or family and talk about things that are bothering you, take a long warm bath - do whatever is necessary to release your frustrations at the end of the day. Try not to carry the stress into the following day.

20/3/06

A day with so many things that let me feel so lousy. Mostly work stuff lah. Like I didn't produce reasonable standard for the report. And also, I should have be more prepared for the meeting as well. Kok myself for playing too much maple on sunday.

People's expectation of me have gone up tremendously. Performing up to their expectations seems tough. So, presenting team asked a question. How come look at me for answers? I am WeiQiang, not textbook. I donno everything one loh. I'm not super clever (said this too many times). A worker.

Wats Sup man.

FYP suddenly overshot words by 444. Cutting is a major problem. Perhaps. See how lah.

(Thanks for your company, some words are just left unspoken)

19/3/06

304 essays seems a lesser headache than 312. Well, its done, but donno how. Still gotta touch up on this. But I lazy lah. I don't usually redo essays cuz its such a hassle. Once its done, I just leave it like that most of the time. Edit so much for what? In the end.... Law of diminishing marginal returns.

Wow, I played maple the whole day while doing work. It seems to be a good way of releasing stress. Its like a rollar coaster. Once the stress meter gets too high, I'll quickly turn to maple and kill some monsters to vent anger. Then I'll get back to work again. Seems fun. Hee.

I don't know how much effect will the projects have on my progress in course work. Will I lag behind like my friends? I donno haa. I got 3 concerts to attend in the course of next 3 weeks. Next week, NUS band performance. I don't know how people will look at me when I go to lecture with my formal wear. I guess..... "WHat is that guy doing sia, act cool ah?" God bless me. Schedule very tight lah.

(ya tight, then how come you can play games??) I like, cannot ah? Sue me.

18/3/06

I feel so bliss to do FYP paper now, cuz got super team mates to help follow through. And things aren't that difficult to type now. Somehow, economics paper are much harder to comprehend cuz it requires economics knowledge that might not apply to every economic situations. I SPENT 10 HRS COMING UP WITH 4 PAGES OF RUBBISH. argh. So tired now. And tomorrow, I'm prepared to spend another 10 HRS DOING AUDIT ESSAY which is scheduled to be dead on Wednesday (deadline).

How come I spend so much time???? How come I can stun at things for a long time?? How come? WHY WHY WHY?? Why am I getting slower at things??? WHY WHY WHY? Is it because I scheduled myself 1 day to type what I want to type? Ya right... I wanted to type the whole bloody 20 pages loh, but only manage to finish 4. Hell.

Tell me.... WHO SPEND 10 HRS TYPING 4 PAGES OF SHIT?? I bet people can type 40 pages in 10 hrs. Whats up with me??? Whats up with weekends?? Whats up with being slow when you have more time?? Me, wierd.... Stab me!!. AHHHHH.


ok haaa I vent enough haa.

17/3/06

Well Well, days of fyp. Its the first time that I feel that I'm pushing myself for fyp haaa. I guess constant progress makes things easy at the end. Awaiting for the verdict of our tutor on monday.

These few days, I got added on MSN by my primary school students haaa. Well, talking to kids are usually more fun cuz they ask funny questions haa. One thing I found out from reading their msn nicks, girls start to be aware of more emotions earlier than guys. That is one thing confirmed. Does that always mean that guys will always be less emotional than girls? Erm. A low performing company today doesn't mean that it cannot overtake a high performing one in future years (lousy analogy).

I sleep too much today. My nap was 3 hrs loh. from 5 to about 8pm. I nearly blasted because my damn alarm clock failed to wake me up. I guess I got myself to blame. Still managed to finish my 308 tutorial. Eiyo, just anyhow do sia. Don't even understand what I'm writing. Mostly copy from text book and anyhow write.

Sat and sunday. Both days are dedicated to essay typing. SIgh. 2 essays on hand. Really donno how. Actually, looking at available time, I shouldn't have a problem managing those 2 but.... I just sian that there are still things to do. Last 2 projects and I'm off to concentrating on exams. I hate and love exams. Contradictions but whatever. Cuz life is contridicting anyway.

16/3/06

Whats up with me sia. Eat wrong medicine and had a wierd chemical reaction in the stomach that triggers the hyper activity in my brain? I just talk too much in class haaa. But then, thats nothing bad about it. Today, I answered a short question about a company's control system assigned by the teacher. So, did I take 2 minutes to answer it? I didn't know how I remembered so many things and blurt everything out. I was awarded, 2 participation points!! (very hard to get points now). I tried to recall how I answered the question after that, but I can't seem to say it as coherent as at the time in class. Wierd. I tend to vomit out things and leave my mind blank after that.

Thanks to my 2 friends, I had a great lunchner (lunch+dinner). Haaa great chat.

I had a good day sleep on the bus to NUS. I felt that I was non existent. How I wish to just sleep like that and don't wake up. When I woke up, I was trying to find out where I was again. Sleeping is a blessing.

Band: Wow, the SSO trombonist came. Very powerful sound. I guess that is how professional sound. Well, I'm still far from his standard. But I don't intend to be professional anyway. I play for leisure.

One thing interesting brought up by my 2 friends was that they valued guys and girls like this:

"Girls appreciate until 21 and then start to depreciate."

"Guys, appreciate until 30 and value remains there."

Funny loh.

15/3/06

Soon to finish my studying life but.... Why must the ending be so difficult? 1 week to finish 2k words essay, then need to hand up FYP two days later, then need to hand up 20 pages essay 4 days later, then presentation and presentation. quiz quiz quiz. Meetings meetings meetings.

Tomorrow gonna meet with a fresh group loh, no chemistry at all loh. sigh. I'm gonna feel so wierd again. They might feel that I'm too aggressive? haaa or perhaps they already expect me to be like that already.

Today, I really do work whole day again. And, I've come up with another resolution. After becoming the expert in consol adjustments, the next thing is to become an Audit Champion. My aim for the next 2 weeks. Perhaps I need to be the currency translation king as well. So many aims. Aim high high, fall hard hard.

I haven't been opening my voice up for a long time. Today I tried to "ah" a certain melody and I got choked. Then my voice so squeezed and flat. High notes all fake and lousy. Sad. haa

I went to the library to collect my reserved book. So troublesome. Wasted 2 hrs. First, I need to pay the reservation fees. Cash card no money. So, I need an ATM to top up. I walked to the interchanged from the library!! Then walk back again. Far.... Wasted so much time. Sigh.


Slice of Life

The Spice of Life

"Variety is the spice of life" they say, but although we have so many choices these days, the irony is that we're leading increasingly routine and mundane lives.

Because we're working longer and harder to maintain our lifestyles, we have less time and energy to think about changing our patterns. Convenience and speed is foremost, and we're inclined to take the usual, the tried, the fastest, the easiest route to get by from day to day.

Is your daily schedule like a rubber stamp you can print on most squares on your calendar? Have we forgotten how valuable our time is? If every day presents opportunities to see new colours, why should we accept just the grey every day?

Starting now, think actively about how you can add more spice to your life.

Just think about the past week. Did you visit a new place? Singapore may be tiny, but even this little dot holds nooks and corners you'll need a lifetime to fully appreciate. So, every once in a while, once or twice a week if you can, go somewhere you've never been before - a museum, a theatre, a nature reserve, a park, a caf?a beach, the wet market in your estate. It doesn't matter what; new experiences trigger responses in your brain that lead to a host of other ideas.

If I asked you to throw out the biggest thief in your home, what would it be?

Many of us don't know this, but the greatest thieves that enter our lives do so by our own invitation. Your television set can steal something more valuable from you than any other thief on the planet: your precious, non-renewable life time. It may seem incredulous at first - "What? Live without TV?" - but try it out for a week, as a challenge, a test, or whatever, and judge for yourself.

Use the time to do something you feel will enhance your life. Come up with a list of things you could do that will be more beneficial for you. Work out, read books, learn a new subject - languages, cookery, swimming, diving, computers, wine-tasting, crafts, astronomy, astrology, music, advanced driving, drama, take up a new sport - the list is endless. You'll meet people, you'll develop more skills, you'll add to your knowledge and you'll develop more confidence. And you'll feel more alive! Sure beats sitting indoors watching reality TV rehash itself, soaps, repeats, and a barrage of commercials!

Your life is your one and only canvas, your one and only meal. Shouldn't it be as colourful and as "spicy" as it can be?


Slice of Life

STORIES - Vertical Frog Race

Once there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a vertical race. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and to ostensibly cheer on the contestants.

Honestly, no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. There were whispers and mutterings like:

"Way too difficult!!"

"They'll never make it to the top!"

"The tower is too high!"

"The frogs are too small and weak!"

And true enough, after an initial spurt of energy, the frogs began collapsing.

The crowd continued to yell:

"No one's gonna make it!"

More and more of the tiny frogs fell prey to exhaustion and gave up.

But ONE continued climbing higher and higher and higher...

This one wouldn't give up!

Finally, to the disbelief and amazement of the crowd, that one frog reached the top!

The other frogs were stunned. More than just stunned? they were embarrassed and flummoxed. Turns out, none of them actually believed any one of them could make it to the top.

So how did that one little frog complete the feat with his sprightly webbed feet?

Well, turns out? the winner was deaf!

14/3/06

Ah one month has past since that...... haaa. well.

Oh today. Quiz quiz. I can't stop myself from laughing when that tutor does funny things unintentionally. Eiyo, why he so cute haaa. Ya and the quiz questions... sigh, why cannot ask direct questions? And so stupid that the company want to issue so many shares for acquisition. And make me so stupid to try and say that there is no difference in consol entries for the 2 scenarios. And I wrote a short paragraph to support my view somemore. Dumb dumb. I don't want to think that I will do well because my intuition for exams are always erroneous. And I have to scold myself and tell myself to "stop thinking so highly about yourself lah". Average student is always average student, no matter how good you think you are, you are still average (referring to myself). Even if there are times where you performed really well, things will still goes to norm (tendency to revert to norm on performance).

My performance in school? Shaped like a Bell curve. Lets see by end of this sem whether it will fit totally into the bell curve.

I have 2 days, including today to prepare for my 304 meeting, because i realized yesterday that deadline is next wed. Weekend to type the thing. Then have to prepare for presentation liao. Whats up sia. what a mess.

Hmm didn't I talked about things that resembles the Slice of life for today? hmm. When I die, what do I want to look at as success....

Slice of Life

Success is An Attitude

We talk about success as though it's an event or a thing. We refer to people wearing "the badges of success", and carrying around (or wearing or driving) the latest status symbol.

But success is not a thing; it's a way of being in the world.

You can have all the riches in the world, and still feel like a failure if you aren't following your life's true purpose. This is a special kind of stress.

Or you might have nothing but the clothes you stand in and feel like the biggest success in the world... if you are following your heart. And that is a very special kind of 'bliss'.

Day after day you may struggle through your to-do list or Objectives Project Plan, cross off most of the big items, and maybe even feel like you have had a successful day.

But are you barking up the wrong tree? A successfully completed task doesn't mean a thing if it isn't taking you nearer your true life goals by following your heart.

So what does it mean to follow the heart?

One way of looking at this is to ask yourself "Where do I get approval from? Is it from inside of me, or from others?"

"Where do I find satisfaction? Do I find it in things and other people, or in the silence I find inside myself?" These are difficult questions. It may be that you cannot even think of a time when you experienced silence within. Could it be that you are busy chasing after things that make too much noise?

There is nothing deadly serious about looking for inner silence. In fact, it leads to more fun, not less. More delight, not more depression or burn-out. And it leads to more success. Because the strength you take from inner silence restores the ability to see what is truly valuable. Friendship, love, compassion and commitment to something bigger than oneself.

Imagine yourself on your death-bed, if that isn't too depressing! What will you look back on as the successes in your life? When was the point at which you redefined success and failure, and realised that the only real yardstick is within you?

Success is not an event. Success is an attitude.

13/3/06

Eiyo what the heck presentation it is today. The tutor shoot question again that stumps me. Its not a difficult one!!! But donno why I just think so much. Eiyo options then options lah, don't exercise the options early cuz you can wait. If share price goes up, no diff in exercising it today or later in the future (ignoring time value of money?). Like that loh!! Ahhhhhhh. why I so cock haa.

Anyway its over. My 308 no more funny things, only have exams. Somehow, I'm not putting alot of effort into this module. Alot of this very muddy in my head loh. How? Help.

And SURPRISE!! "304 essay to be handed up next wed". Omg. I found out only today!! 1 week to complete a project? Thats like, never happened before. So this is the new challenge for me. Nvm loh, next wed 304, next friday FYP, next friday NUS band concert! Whats up sia. Yesterday i was still saying that everything seems smooth for me. I guess something wants to test my abilities right. Lets see what will happen to me in a few days time.

Slice of Life

Resolving Conflict Without Communication

Communication problems has been cited as the Number One cause of marriages breaking up - lack of communication, ineffective communication, talking but not being able to see eye to eye or come to a compromise.

The problem is, very often, two people simply cannot see things the same way. No matter how long they talk and how hard they try, neither ends up feeling really heard and understood.

What often happens when they "communicate" is that each person tries to get the other person to see things his or her way. Instead of solving the problem, each is trying to have control over how the other person sees things. This often leads to more conflict and frustration.

There is however, a way of resolving conflict that doesn't involve words or communication. You can take action on your own.

What do I mean? Doesn't a couple need to work through a problem together? Well, yes, but not all the time.

You see, sometimes, you can choose to be compassionate toward yourself and your partner rather than choosing to judge yourself or your partner. Choosing to compassionately care about yourself and your partner can totally change the energy between you, even without words. Understand and accept that each of you has very good reasons for your feelings, behaviour, and point of view.

You can also try to say nothing rather than behaving in an inflammatory way toward your partner. A wise man knows when to shut up. Let go of having to be right! It's not a contest, it's not a war. You're talking about the love of your life here. If you look back, you will see that no one wins when both people are trying to control with anger, blame, explanations, debating, defending, lectures, or compliance. However, if you choose to walk away, walk away with love and compassion - intent on taking loving care of yourself rather than punishing your partner. Walking away in anger is just another way to control.

And choose to accept that you have no control over your partner's feelings and behavior, but that you have total control over your own actions. Trying to change your partner is sure to bring you a nervous breakdown. Changing yourself moves you into personal power. Take loving action on your own behalf. Loving actions are actions that support your own highest good without harming your partner.

Sometimes, it's better not to talk, and step out of the fray with compassion.

12/3/06

Concert performance. A time of excitment and anxiety. The pre-concert period gave me the butterflies in my tummy. The waiting and worrying and thinking about the shaping of phrases, notes, and tone quality of sound. Well, I shouldn't worry about tone cuz I'm know to have monstrous tone haaa. Fun.

A full house concert. Even those who are not known to attend out concert attended. So many familiar faces, so many expectations. Those who knew me, knew my standard. Those know hear me before, conduct me before previously, had expectations. There is a standard to uphold, a reputation to carry forward. Throughout the pieces, I kept on thinking:" is this going to be the end of my reputation if I blew up this part, that part, or those parts?"

No, I didn't. I'm so proud of Westwinds today. I can feel the organ sound. I myself didn't blew up.... or perhaps blew up but can't be heard obviously. No one knew I mispitched, except for myself haa. Well, I'm getting skillful in hiding my inadequacies. haaa.

Well, if there is god (sorry i'm not a christian), then I would say that god treated me well. First, the concert was fun, and I didn't mess up anything. My lips stamina got better this time because I found out whats wrong with my Euphonium 2 weeks before concert and made corrections to it every practice. Second thing is about the tickets. Remember that I was so upset about not having tickets for my frineds? I overheard that someone got "put aeroplane" and had 5 tickets on hand. I was so near them and I quickly voiced out that I needed those tickets. "YES!" I said. I managed to got hold of my friends for 3 of the tickets. BUt my the other friend disappeared (who wanted 2 tickets). I am so happy. Everything went out smoothly for me again. Something is not quite right. Something seems to be helping me everytime things isn't going quite nicely.

Oh guess what. I saw someone. I didn't expect her to turn up for concert. Its really nice to receive the gift eh. The chilli padi knows how to sew nice things heee. To be frank, I was thinking whether she would appear like the last concert and pass me the sewing. Well, I guess it happened. My intuition is A-O-super! Ha. Train yourself up, I'll be waiting for the day when you are ready for westwinds (not in terms of skills. The Mental readiness to commit and practice hard is the key). Don't worry about the skills. Its the attitude that matters. I was joking when I say memorise the 12 major scales. I was also joking when I said that to join Westwinds, the trombone player must be able to play soft. You memorise after you join. Cuz, I don't think alot of people in any bands in singapore can play 12 scales accurately, except for those who do exams for instruments. Thankz... chilli (if you don't like this nickname, I can give you another one. *_*), I appreciate it. And yes, Westwinds (perhaps should say I) need eupho players! I'm tired of playing so loud all the time. Let me know when you are ready. Anytime. And, I like to look nerd because I am one. haaaa.

Sigh, back to school days again. The unforgiving place of knowledge transfer. The relentless mental torture realm. The place of you-die-or-I-die. The place of building habits of I-poke-your-back-you-poke-my-back. Projects, presentations, participations, looking steady and zai (is it that important to look zai? And is academically clever means that the person is super? Where is Gardner's theory of multiple intelligence?), looking knowledgeable and eloquent. Place of masks. Bloody hell. 2 more months, I'm out of that emotionless place. The only emotion there is..... "Damn, I flung my presentation/exam/quiz"

11/3/06

Concert eve. Seems like a big day. So big, huge, gigantic. Rehearsal today feels good. Mispitches are not very audible. Now its the actual performance that matters. I have great friends who are coming to support the band. I have disappoint some of my other friends as well. I couldn't get tickets for them. I should have tore out those tickets and paid for them first. Sigh. I shouldn't have relied on "you can reserve it on next sat".

I changed my way of selling tickets to my friends because I don't want them to waste money if they can't come at the last moment. Thus, I planned to just reserve for all my friends and then they come and pay at the counter. Now, this way of selling tickets made me so angry with myself. Now, its really hard to choose between, Buy and pay now vs Reserve and pay on the performance day itself. I think, given the reputation of Westwind, the latter way would not guarentee a ticket for my friend. Sigh. Perhaps I should, based on the concept of "customer is always right", refund my friends and absorb the loss if they couldn't make it during the last moment. Ahhhhh how?

Sometimes I really want to shout," Oei! 312 project grp, start working now!" Perhaps thats not the right way to deal with grown ups. Maybe I'm asking too much haaa. Not everyone can be like me, i.e., no life. haaa.

I wonder how is my fyp friend progressing with his stuff he needs to do. He needs to adhere to the deadline strictly. You know what I mean do you? heee.

10/3/06

The heart just pumps faster as days get nearer to the horrifying melody. High risk area of mispitching. Mitigating controls.... none. Die. Why do I have to go through these kind of anxiety everytime I play for westwinds. Few concerts ago was, Edelwise, a small 8 bars duet with Adam Frey for his Concerto for Euphonium. My heart weak lah, cannot take it. How abt NUS concert? Noaks Ark solo... no fear, cuz no high notes, breeze through haaa.

I spent alot of time today doing crappy things. Now I know how people can say they don't have time because of crappy things. I woke up at 9am in the morning, watching 2 episodes of dragonball, played 2-3 hrs of maple and utopia. Went out to Orchard library to do some books borrowing for 312 project (where real work starts). Spent 2-3 hrs there. When I came back home, its already 5pm. Then how? I played Maple for 30mins, and read my 306 lecture notes for 30 mins. Went jogging because I'm getting fatter (horrifying weight reading during my medical checkup). Then ate dinner alone because parents not at home (at least they da bao for me). Then watch 2 episodes of dragonball again. Then read my 306 lecture notes for 1 hr.

Calculation: what is the effective work time for today. 4 hrs????? Pathetic. How pathetic can things be? ANd..... I was the one who told my friend that I got no time to finish my stuffs. Ya I didn't. I planned to read all the 312 readings by end of this holiday. Current progress: 2 read, left tonnes.

And I really have no mood to study because of the concert anxiety. Butterflies in stomach. I need to drink insecticide. Presentation on Monday!! And the tutor super skillful in making you shiver during presentation (ask funny questions).

To digress a bit. I'm always very wrong with my intuition, so I've given up depending on them. Even though I told people I can feel alot of things going around me, but I tend to ignore them cuz I have made so many mistakes before because I depended on intuition. So, haaa I'm gonna just don't think so much and walk one day by one day, minute by minute, sec by sec. I really hate myself thinking so much. haa

9/3/06

I super hyper today!!!!! I talked too loud, I said crazy things, I acted like some Yo Yo guy, I laugh too much, I "pengs" too much, I...... never ending!!

Did so much research in the afternoon that I went bonkers. Somehow I really like going to NUS band. Even though the music isn't really super but I get to be myself. I can be as crazy as I want and I can don't care how people think. They don't have any expectation on my behavior as a professional being (in terms of as an accountant), and I don't have to build a wall between me and them. All of them can go Yo Yo with me there!! So fun!! Especially Lum!!! Getting traumatised by my "man, man" speech. [as in, hey man, whats up man, why like that man, steady man]

I met a JC friend at a bus stop outside Toa Payoh. Eiyo, teacher teacher leh, *salute!!* So chiem chinese. In one of the best pri school for Band. Top band for 5 years consecutively. Somehow, I feel that human behavior can be seperated into a few kinds. And this friend has a similar speaking style to my another friend. I guess some parts of the genes match. Cool right! Can I find my another self somewhere?

Oh guess what!! The westwinds concert is a sold out!! We have an over-order situation. My president is seizing all the tickets!! Oh no!!! I have a few friends who wants to go for the concert and no tickets for me. Me bad!! I thought have teared out the tickets and pay for them first.... shucks!! I feel so bad now. But there is one light of hope around. I'll do my best to squeeze out tickets.... *vomit them out. No!, I'm serious. I'll do my best to find some tickets out. Oh my god.

If a full house isn't much of an excitment, the Wife of the Hungary Ambassdor is coming as guest of honour. Ah!!!!! Scary eupho melody for the Symphoniq Hungarica!! *Pray pray pray pray pray*

I will put all my work behind me and concentrate on my concert first. Its !!!!!! so good. First concert after the WASBE conference and Japan trip. See how the Westwinds sound evolve. Shock the whole world bah!!! Provided no smart alec trying to show off during concert loh. Hate those people who think that they are the band. You'll get what I mean.

Oh today's slice of life is for me!!! Its just so close to me. hee. Be happy

Slice of life

Happily Single

More and more people in their 30's or 40's have never been married and are yearning to settle down and start a family.

If you fall into this group, how does it make you feel? Frustrated? Are you longing to be a father? Have you lost hope that you will ever find someone to settle down with and spend the rest of your life with? Do you have a lot of friends, but you still feel lonely and long for true love and companionship with a life long partner?

Well, you don't need to be married and have a family to make your life complete, happy and worthwhile. Yes, there is joy in that, but it doesn't mean that without it your life is doomed to emptiness. Many people fall into the trap of believing in that certainty.

It's a big mistake to depend on someone else to complete your life and bring you happiness. Being happy is D-I-Y. Depending on someone else for your happiness is handing over control and responsibility to that person. Which not only puts you in a wobbly situation, it's unfair to the other party.

Marriage and a family is not the only key to your eternal happiness. The fact that many marriages end in divorce should give you a clue that marriage does not guarantee happiness.

Don't get me wrong. Marriage is a wonderful institution as long as you find the right mate. Marriage is very a serious matter and you should not jump into marriage prematurely because you think you're getting older and it's time to settle down.

Even if you insist that there is someone for you, and you will find him or her eventually, that doesn't mean that the world has to stop turning in the meantime. You can find happiness and fulfillment in other areas besides romantic relationships.

A good way to find meaning and satisfaction is to become involved in helping others through charity organizations, volunteer work, community activities, working for political causes, helping the needy and so on. It can be extremely rewarding. Besides, it's a great way to meet people too and learn about their lives, their motivations, their problems and their ways of solving them. This helps put your own troubles into perspective.

8/3/06

Spent about 7 hrs doing FYP today. Editing can be quite hateful. Read up and down, then down to up, then up to down again, and the cycle goes on and on and on and on. Everytime, there will be something that needs to be changed. And Footnotes are hateful! Just because I don't use endnote doesn't mean that I don't know how to make things consistent throughout. Somehow I got a feeling its not going to give me fantastic result. Anyway, doesn't matter.... I'm employed. Who cares... I do my best and thats more important. 头没有这样大就不要戴这样大的帽子 (referring to me)。 But I know someone head very big, sure can fit big hat!! ops

Maple at level 28. Yeah. But very slow at levelling now. Haa I think I'm the only one who can stand the slowness in the levelling speed of a warrior.

Thanks to my fyp mate from chatting with me haaa. I'm lacking interpersonal interaction during holidays haaa. Have fun people!!

Slide of life

Midlife Career Change

When it comes to employment, the reality these days is that there is no iron rice bowl. Very rarely will a person stay in one company for the rest of his career. The trend is for companies to stay lean and competitive by continually trimming fat and choosing cheaper labour sources like foreign talent or outsourcing to other countries.

All this means that having to look for another job is a distinct possibility. And it can become harder as you grow older. Maybe the last time you job-hunted, you were in your twenties, right out of school, bright-eyed and eager. You had fewer responsibilities. Most certainly your identity wasn't tied to a profession.

But now you're over thirty-five. You've gained some stature. You've become used to your job. You probably have no other commercially-valuable skills other than the ones you now possess. You've got children, aging parents, housing and car loans. Then, unexpectedly, you find yourself being retrenched.

The midlife career change journey can be hard to venture. But it doesn't have to be miserable.

Career change takes time, energy and financial resources. So get a temporary job. You may be lowly-ranked and suffer a pay cut, but remember, it's only transitory. Think of birds perching on a wire when they migrate south for the winter: a place to rest till you can start moving to your real destination.

Once you've covered your basic needs, take time to explore each career option in greater depth. Even within each field you'll find major differences. A social worker for instance, can have a private practice, work in a hospital, or work for agency, public and private.

Talk to at least six people who are employed (happily or otherwise) in each field. Ask how they started. Don't ask for advice: ask for experience.

Finally, if finances are tight, investigate low-cost career change resources in your area. Some nonprofit agencies offer counseling. And if you find yourself getting seriously depressed, your first priority should be a visit to a qualified, licensed mental health provider.

Yes, you can find a new, satisfying career - not overnight, but sooner than you think. Start the journey in an optimistic and informed way.

Slice of life

STORIES - THE 99 CLUB

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy in his heart?

The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?"

The man replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."

Later in the day, the King sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."

"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.

The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... so many gold coins!

He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!" He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."

He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100!

We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."

7/3/06

除了勇气，其他的因素也是非常重要的。1）机会 2）时机。 看来事情不是那么的简单。

The whole day is very dreamy for me. I just feel like sleeping the whole day. When I walk, I just wanna close my eyes and do some sleep walking. Stupid body.

Did my medical checkup for my first job. Sian, every doctor will tell me the same thing. Got bored of it. At least, they didn't poke my hand this time. *Phew

Not going to do FYP tonight. Will do tomorrow. Sigh, got one presentation next week and a quiz as well. Just feel so sick until I wanna puke knowledge.... not that I have alot, just indigestion.

6/3/06

Yesterday, I spoke about the phrase 勇气。 勇气的定义到底是什么？

想和人说话时却没有打给他。
想买东西给他但是最后还是没这么做。
想问他今天过得怎么样但是没有开口。
像发送简讯给他但是还没有寄出去就删除了。

这些就是勇气吗？

有勇气的人很多。勇气真的那么重要吗？是吗？

I would like to clarify something about the concert. I'm not conducting any pieces. I don't think I have the quality to conduct such a magnificant band. I could only conduct at school level haa. Not semi pro level. Those people in westwinds are scary hee.

Why do I always feel that I've offended people. Sigh.

5/3/06

Let me start by...

梦境是虚幻。幸福很短暂。
游荡在沙滩。有你的陪伴。
满腔的祈望。一切不终站。
梦醒时舒坦。感觉又空淡。
下次的相遇。万分的期盼.

I'm too free.

Oh, I haven't do any work yet. It seems like the more time i have, the more slack i become. How like that?

"爱情就像悬崖上的一朵花。要摘也要有勇气" 莎士比亚说的？ oh my god.


School Work- I'm left with FYP, 312, and 304. Last 6 weeks of school. OF SCHOOL LIFE!!

Music- I didn't know i can play so loud. I thought my eupho wanted explode.

Westwinds concert next sunday. After that freeing up one weekend for work.
NUS concert on 24th. After that, is donno how. Ha

4/3/06

Went ktv again. This time I made a recording of my own singing for the song 纯真。 Full of mistakes haaa, so cannot put on blog. Was thinking of doing that loh. So sad haaa. Perhaps I should do more recording in Ktv next time haaa. I'm starting to enjoy doing this. Hee.

Next week sunday is westwind concert woh. For those supporting, please take note its 5pm rather than the 7pm which i told you guys and ladies earlier on. Hope you guys and ladies will like it ah. come early for the circles seat.

Today I want to talk about the story which I saw in one of the Mtvs.

Story

天气晴朗，男在球场上打着篮球。一切都很好，直到手机突然响起。
*ring ring, ring ring*
男还来不及说“喂”就听到，
girl: 你到底还爱不爱我？ (in cantonese)
男：。。。。。。？
girl: 你为什么不出声？ (in cantonese)
男：我想你是打错电话。(in chinese)
girl: 你说什么？你到底懂我在说什么吗？ (cantonese)
男：我想你是打错电话。 (in cantonese, at a slow pace)
*男卦掉了电话

几天后。。。。
*beep beep, beep beep*, 有简讯。
男拿起了手机。 是mms. 那个girl扮鬼脸，说对不起。
从此就以简讯沟通。这是一场偶然的相遇。

见面的那一天，拿着手机，看着对方，不知道是不是他。等待着电话的响起。
*ring ring*
girl: 嘿，是我。
男：我知道。
眼神凝视。这刻停止了时间。
从此开心而幸福。


Sounds like fairy tale? I think so too. Perhaps you might wanna guess the song of this MTV hee. No prizes!

3/3/06

1 week break starts. Time to break my bones. Need to build up stamina and drive. For study of course.!! The last 8 weeks of my whole university life. And hope.... I won't fail anything haaa. I haven't read much for AB312 you know. I'm starting to worry abit but.... i still don't wanna put in any effort in it. I guess course planning is very important. If a course doesn't have any continuous class assessment part, then students won't want to put in much effort in keeping themselves up to date about the course. Well, thats me. I wonder how others are doing.

Alamak my throat still a bit sore. I wonder if its because I'm starting to get heated up or its because i shouted too much during ktv yesterday. haaa, don't feel like saying anything, so i must type more.

How I wish concerts quickly end so that i can start concentrating on my studies. Having more time on sat and sun and thurs will give me time to breathe. I need to breathe.

Next project to finish is FYP, then 312, then finally 304. The timings for me are quite nice. But, whether I do well is another thing. I'm still struggling to strive for best. Either I fight, or leave things as it is. I'm still holding a little hope.... but not too much. The higher the hope, the harder you might fall. Sigh

SLice of Life

The Secret to Working and Living Well With People

Entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash once said "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.'"

Mary certainly knew what she was talking about. That little secret to working well with people helped her grow Mary Kay Cosmetics into the largest direct seller of skin care and color cosmetics in the United States. Mary understood that in any relationship, whether it's a spouse, child, client, colleague, or casual acquaintance, the best way to make a lasting impression is to take the time to make others feel genuinely valued.

Here are some ways you can make others feel more important.

Greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm. Have you ever called someone on the telephone - or met them somewhere -- and they greeted you with such energy and enthusiasm that you felt they must truly adore you? A greeting of ardent and genuine enthusiasm sets the tone for your entire encounter. It's such a simple skill (the hardest part is remembering to do it) but if you CAN remember, it will enliven all of your relationships. This skill can be particularly life-changing when practiced with your children. A simple show of enthusiasm and appreciation when a child walks in the room can have a miraculous effect on the relationship.

Slow down. Take the time in conversation to really listen. While someone is talking, focus on taking in what he or she is saying in words, tone, and body language instead of thinking about what you are going to say next. Relax and listen before responding. As you practice this form of deep listening, work on identifying the other person's needs. Put your own needs aside during the conversation and focus on determining what they need today. Savour the connection you can make with another person, even in a casual conversation.

Work on remembering the details of past conversations and encounters. Ask about the things they confided to you. How did her business presentation go? How is his ailing father? It's often helpful to make little notes to remind you to ask about something or someone the next time you meet. This simple skill shows people that they are important to you.

Appreciate the small things that people do for you and never pass up an opportunity to say thank you. Find simple and small ways to show appreciation and caring to those you love.

When you make the people around you feel important, you create a climate of trust and mutual appreciation, which can change your life in ways large and small. Try it today.

Slice of Life

Lying On a Nail

Once there was a young woman who didn't like her job. Everyday when she came home from work, she told her husband how terrible her day had been, how tiring the work and how unreasonable her boss. "Leave that job," her husband told her.

"Oh I will," she said. "But not yet. I have too many friends there for me to leave just yet." And so she complained until the days became years and her family grew to five. "Leave that job," her children told her. "Oh I will," she said. "But not yet. I have seniority and four weeks vacation I can spend with you. I'm not ready to start over just yet."

And so she remained unhappy at work until the years became decades and her children had children. "Leave that job," her grandchildren told her. "Oh I will," she said. "But not yet. There's only seven more years until I reach thirty years of service and can retire. So I can't just yet."

I know this woman. And so do you. And there are scores like her. This reminds me of the story about an old dog half-asleep on the porch of the general store, moaning and groaning in the sun. "Why is your dog acting that way?" a customer asked the store owner. "Oh," answered the man, "he's lying on a nail." "Well, why doesn't he move?" "Because it's not hurting him bad enough."

That's true for people, too. We convince ourselves the pain is not bad enough to leave the workplace we know. But we're wrong. Prolonged work pain is damaging. Some damages our self-esteem, kills our passion or destroys our dreams. Some emerges when we compromise our values, quiet our voice or hide our talent. Some happens when we're seduced by power or believe our own myths of importance and significance. Some occurs when we look the other way, say yes when we mean no or forfeit the promises we made to ourself.

Wilbur Wright, of the Wright brothers fame, once commented, "We could hardly wait to get up in the morning." I know that exhilarating feeling of being so passionate about something I was working on that I couldn't wait to get back to work. And people who are winning at working know that kind of passion, too. They get excited about work.

They thrive offering their unique gifts and talents. And when things change as they sometimes will, they refuse to let a soul-depleting boss or environment hijack their self-esteem, passion or dreams. When work becomes work, they stop lying on a nail and do something about it.

2/3/06

Started the day with much anxiety. So many things to worry about. And... I was wondering if i can remember what i need to say during the presentation. So.... this is officially the first presentation that pre-preparation is useless for me. Had 33 slides to go through. And... I took almost 1 hr of the whole seminar to present my part. Amazing...... And more amazing, I was not penalised i think....

All went well, and according to time limit of 2 hours. Really deserve a big time break for myself away from work. And the one week break comes just in time, next week. Its concert time!!!

After lesson, its enjoy time!! KTV!! This time, me and my ktv kaki managed to bring in 2 more people. Another great voice discovered. Thanks for singing with me. Thats all I ask for. Anyway, I'm the pirated version of Jay, Jacky, Ah Du... haaaa so funny. Lets go for another shot in times to come!!

I've always enjoyed band session in NUS cuz someone will always listen to my crap haaa. And its non other than YOKES!! New visitor!! Oh ya.... my msn add is euph5@hotmail.com Add me!! And I wanna listen to the Colours for Trombone!!

Slice of Life

Accepting Compliments

How do you respond when someone says to you - "That's a nice shirt!", "I really liked that presentation you did!", "Your website is so well done!", or "Nice haircut!"?

Do you usually view the compliment with suspicion or disbelief? Are you usually dismissive - "No, this old thing? I only wear it because it's comfy" or "No, I thought I was really nervous!"

Many people are uncomfortable with praise and compliments. We can be so busy judging ourselves harshly that we don't quite know what to do with positive feedback. We almost wish people would just "come out and say it," "it" being the negative thing that they're REALLY thinking, just to prove our negative self-perception.

What we should be doing though is learning to embrace positive feedback and accept compliments graciously. By doing this, we open up the door for more positive thoughts and interactions, and we actually start to believe them.

Here are some steps towards accepting compliments graciously.

1. Notice. Begin by noticing what you tend to say when someone gives you a compliment. Do you minimize it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing"? Do you challenge it by saying, "No, I don't look good, I look awful!" or do you find yourself so uncomfortable that you're at a complete loss for words?

2. Practice. You can learn to accept compliments more graciously. After noticing what you tend to do now, decide how you'd like to respond the next time you receive a compliment. Then, practice saying your new response until saying it feels natural and sincere. A warm and heartfelt, "thank you" coupled with a smile is always appropriate and is usually enough. Be cautious of feeling the need to explain, justify, or return a compliment automatically.

3. Focus on the person who's giving you the compliment. Expect the best and act on the assumption that the person is sincere. Focus on being kind and courteous to that person. If you make them feel good by accepting their compliment with genuine appreciation, they'll remember that and speak up the next time they have something positive to share with you.

4. Try it from the other side. Another way to get better at accepting compliments is to give more compliments. Notice how other people receive them. This can improve your relationships greatly, because now you'll be focused more on the other person. As you're looking for positive things to compliment them on, you'll also be keeping your thoughts more positive overall, and you'll have less time for worrying and negative thinking.

1/3/06

The fortune telling for the new year for me is really accurate. I am breathing fire already. I need to sleep by 10.30pm or else i'll be talking nonsense tomorrow. But things hasn't seem to allow me to sleep nicely. I'll have to worry for so many things.

Its not joke doing ppt slides for 11 hrs mind you. And I don't have a good temper to talk nicely to people just to get things done. Its no fun compiling slides too especially where numbers are concern. Is it the first time i'm so serious about powerpoint slides? Yes it is. And I want it to be the best ever. I don't have the creativity for fanciful stuffs, but at least, I would want things to be standardised and be eye-friendly. 100 over slides for a 2 hr presentation is no joke?!!!!

Hey, am I spending time doing stupid things or redundant things? Am I doing things that kills myself? IF I AM THE ONE WHO ONLY DOES COMPILING SLIDES, I WON'T BE TALKING LIKE THIS. I HAVE DONE UP 33 SLIDES MYSELF....COMPILED AND STANDARDISED HORRENDOUS SLIDES AND NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING COME UP WITH 20 QUIZ QUESTIONS. NOT FORGETTING I NEED TO MENTALLY REHEARSE WHAT I NEED TO SAY TOMORROW. (I hope no kids reading this)

Genius don't complain these kind of things right? I think i'm putting myself into a low low class person. Ya, I don't need to be in a high class position. I don't fit there. So, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO VENT MY HAIR PULLING EXPERIENCE.

AND PLEASE LET ME GRADUATE SOON SO THAT I CAN STOP DOING ALL THESE FUCKING STUPID PRESENTATIONS.

I really hope tomorrow finish soon so that I can go to NUS band for a venting session with the eupho there. I need to talk to "her" so much. Music understands me as much as I can understand it.

And those who thought that I'm a nice guy, sorry to disappoint you.....

Back to my 20 quiz questions now.

2 hrs for 20 questions, meaning 6 minutes each question.

Slice of life

STORIES - King Arthur and the Witch (What Women Really Want)

Have you heard the story of "King Arthur's Dilemma - A Wise Lesson for All Men to Learn"?
Well, it goes like this:

As a test, young Arthur was asked to answer the question, "What do women really want?" Brilliant though he was, he simply could not discover the answer. Finally, he decided to seek counsel from a very wise and very powerful old witch.

She told him that she would reveal the secret only if he promised to marry her. Arthur agreed and she gave the answer: "To be in charge of their own lives."

As the wedding approached, Arthur was beginning to regret his promise. He'd been so eager to find out the answer that he had failed to seriously ponder the consequences of having an ugly old witch as his wife.

When the day of the wedding came though, the witch appeared to Arthur as a beautiful woman. She said that since he'd been kind enough to marry her, she would be a witch half the time, and a beautiful maiden half the time. But he would have to choose when!

This time, Arthur gave it more serious thought - a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, a gnarled old witch? Or by day, a hideous hag, but by night, a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?

Care to guess his decision?

Well, noble Arthur replied he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

The witch's answer to the question "What do women really want?" was deceptively simple, wasn't it? Yet, Arthur was wise enough to understand its meaning. And that earned him a beautiful bride. As well as a wonderful marriage and relationship, presuming he continued to understand and apply the philosophy.

So what do women really want?

What we all want, really - to be in charge our own lives. To be appreciated and respected. To be made to feel that our opinions and feelings matter. A simple philosophy that is crucial to making any relationship work.