29/4/05

Last paper gone!! Come to think of it, it was quite a difficult one. Although its open book, its write and write and write and write non stop. But its over and I have done my best. What ever the result would be for this paper, I'll accept it because I have really done my best. Hee

My holiday plans, Games and more games!!. Other than that, I would want to continue my Jap studies, practice on my eupho for WASBE, read a few books. The first book is Change your life in 5 days. The second book is Sun Tze tactics of war for businesses. I need to enhance my stress tolerance level. After seeing myself during this past sem, I know I quite a weakling. I need to change hee.

On my way back from exam, A van break into fire on the road outside bukit batok MRT station. Then near another bus stop, I saw a kid running and fell flat on the ground. Hmm quite happening today.

Slice of Life


Using Humour to Build Stronger Relationships

Can the quality of a relationship be judged using humour?

If there is plenty of laughter present, you can safely assume that the relationship is a healthy one. When the laughter ceases you can be quite sure that the relationship is on the down slide. This "laughter barometer" can be applied to any relationship, at home, at work and at play. Laughter means that you're having fun and that means you're enjoying each other's company. It means that you and your partner are comfortable and intimate enough to be able to laugh at each other and yourselves.

Just think about the couples you know. How often and how effortlessly do they laugh with each other?
Here are a few ways that can help laughter remain an ever-present reality in your relationship.

First of all, remember that a sense of humor is learned, not inherited. So don't write yourself off if you think you're not humourous. Allow other people too, to develop a sense of humour.

Also, look for humour everywhere. When something strikes you as funny, enjoy it. Let the laughter flow. And wherever possible, share it with your partner. Begin to cultivate an atmosphere of humor and laughter in your relationships. Learn to be able to laugh at each other and at yourselves. If you can't laugh at yourselves, you leave the job to others.

You and your partner should spend more time around humourous and fun-loving people. You have to understand and accept that no matter how enjoyable your relationship may be, laughing with one person all the time can become hackneyed. So enjoy your partner with your friends. Don't falsely assume that the reason is because you or your partner has become boring. We all need variation and third-party input from time to time.

Keep your eyes peeled for funny items in the papers, in magazines and on the Internet. Extract them and share them. Watch comedy programmes. Remember witty lines and share them.

You can also use humour to neutralise conflict in your relationships. When things get tense, use self deprecating humour to lighten things up. When an disagreement ensues, we often get carried away by our feelings of anger and pride, and this aggravates the situation. If you practise using laughter as a lubricant to slide over these tricky humps, you'll be able to avoid many unpleasant quarrels.

29/4/05

Last paper gone!! Come to think of it, it was quite a difficult one. Although its open book, its write and write and write and write non stop. But its over and I have done my best. What ever the result would be for this paper, I'll accept it because I have really done my best. Hee

My holiday plans, Games and more games!!. Other than that, I would want to continue my Jap studies, practice on my eupho for WASBE, read a few books. The first book is Change your life in 5 days. The second book is Sun Tze tactics of war for businesses. I need to enhance my stress tolerance level. After seeing myself during this past sem, I know I quite a weakling. I need to change hee.

On my way back from exam, A van break into fire on the road outside bukit batok MRT station. Then near another bus stop, I saw a kid running and fell flat on the ground. Hmm quite happening today.

28/4/05

Panick for tomorrow's paper. An open book again, thats much even how much I study, nothing would help. Effort not correlates to results, thats why. What I can do now is, keep myself calm. I really don't know what to type now. Panick panick.

Slice of Life

Choose What You Want In Life

Harry Browne, the 2000 Libertarian Party candidate for U. S. President once said, "You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose."

Indeed, we all hold the awesome power of Choice. It's all about freedom - the freedom to pick one thing over another. But are you choosing what you want from life?

"Oh no," some people say. "I can't because... I haven't got enough education. ...I need to look after my family. ...I don't have enough money. ...I don't have the time." What's your reason?

The truth is, we do have choice in every single moment of our lives. For those who are destitute or disabled, the choices in life are fewer. But the rest of us often think we don't have freedom when we simply haven't claimed our power to choose differently.

How do you typically make decisions? Do you do so based on:

"shoulds" - doing what you believe you should do.
" Pleasing others - doing what others want or expect you to do.
" Fear - choosing the safe route.
" Habit and reaction - you don't even think about what you're doing - you've always done it this way, and it comes so naturally that you don't even think about why you do it.

Be clear about what you want. Have a sense of purpose. Ask yourself questions like "Why am I doing this? What do I want to achieve?" Write down your answers. Many a precious brilliant idea has been lost because it was forgotten. Be more conscious of how you are spending your time, because this is your life passing by. Never allow yourself to play the victim. You alone are responsible for your life. When you fully accept this, you will claim your inner power to make better choices.

Be open to possibilities for yourself. Select one area of your life where you are unsatisfied, and choose something new, something more for yourself. Do different things and do things differently. Risk more.

Empowerment arises from the three Cs: choice, courage and change. They are yours to claim. You have the opportunity to create a future that's very different from your past. And remember, not choosing is also a choice.

27/4/05

One more down and one more to go. To say truly, its really my most confident paper. At least I know I did my best and did well. Even if I made some mistakes, I can't be bothered with them hahaa. Its not that I want to be good in law subjects its just that I really can't get away with the word Law. Haha, look at my name (1), and my FYP tutor is a tax tutor (2). I just hope at least an A for this sem. Haha if I can get 2 As, then its better than ever. No Cs please! Hate to see the letter C.

Now is 6.40pm. A bit early for blog but.... I need to practice playing Gradius 5 later because I will be combining forces with my gaming buddy to fight those evil planes. I need to get my skills up first or else I might just saboh my friend on sat. Its time for GGAMES!!!

When I was on my way home, I happened to switch on my MP3 for Jay's songs. Somehow, it brought me back again and I felt that things happened just yesterday. Its a strange feeling. But I know it has happened far far ago, and I should enjoy my time now. Yup I did, and I really enjoy it..... when I'm busy. haha. Like what my friend said," you tend to think of singlehood when you are attached and think of finding one when you are single."

*Work hard and you'll see the fruits of labor* means tough on the process and sweet on the final results. Apply to everything. If you have "sweet on the process", then the results won't be that sweet anymore.

Slice of Life

Create Your Own Oasis

Stress can prematurely age our mind and body. If not dealt with effectively, chronic stress and worrying can place undue strain upon our cardiovascular and immune systems. It can also make us prone to mood disorders and negatively affect our cognitive functions. Having a safe and comfortable place where we can relax and unwind can help improve our well-being and produce feelings of peace and tranquility.

Here are some easy ways to make your personal space a true comfort zone.

Your favorite music and natural sounds can help you relax and unwind. Sounds have the ability to alter our perceptions and instantly change our mood.

Live plants create a peaceful atmosphere. They improve the ambience and air quality of indoor environments, and induce a positive energy around them.

Soft and adjustable lighting can create a soothing atmosphere. Look for light bulbs that are bright, but not harsh. Being able to adjust the brightness of your lighting will give you more control of the mood of your space.

A fresh and pleasant fragrance can transport you to a peaceful place and time. Use air purifiers or essential oils to create the "aroma" you find most pleasing.

Place your furniture and other items to best fit your daily needs and actions. Personalize your space with things that invoke happy memories.

Use pillows and other soft materials to create a comfort zone. Our sense of touch has a powerful impact upon our feelings.

Bring the outdoors inside with shells, rocks, feathers, wood, leaves, and so on.

Take control of your surroundings, even when they are just a corner of a room or a desk at work. You can even use these steps when traveling to help you unwind. By creating your own personal oasis, you will be better able to relax and rejuvenate. A few changes may be all that you need to make yourself calm, peaceful, energized and inspired.

Hmmmmmmm..... create a forest in my room? Eeks.

26/4/05

When I have been so hardworking before? I know I cannot let myself down, so I have read and read and read non stop. Praying for myself haha. Since I'll done my best in preparation. Even if I didn't do well, its all fated. Guess what I've heard about the Tax paper last sem? The average marks was........ amazingly low. haha. If that is the case, then I'm quite safe. But then, this sem will be different haha because we won't know what will happen tomorrow. Markets are always weak form efficient. Past results cannot be used to predict future results. Fama's theory. BUt.... who supports Thaler (behavioral theory)?

Mum's not at home the whole day. Went to look after my new borned cousin. She likes small kids soooo much. omg. Luckily my dog still accompany me. But she sleeps all day long. What a slacker.

counting down.... 2 more papers. I want to smile while walking out of the exam hall. I cannot fail myself. Cannot!!

Slice of Life

The Energising Power of Dreams

Remember your very first job? That all-grown-up feeling! Your own money to buy things... The independence?

Do you still have that excitement today? Do you jump out of bed, eager to start a new day? Or are you tired, maybe even slightly depressed?

Perhaps you've lost touch with your own special dream over the years. What was it? Have you thought about your dream lately? Acknowledging it can free you up to remove the obstacles.

What's keeping you from your dream? Start a small list of things you consider obstacles in your way. Are they Time, Energy, Money? Is your life just too stressful? Brainstorm some solutions and write them down.

If you could trade something for your dream, what would it be? If you wanted it so badly you could taste it -- how could you make it happen?

What could you negotiate with yourself today - to pull your dream a little bit closer? How about making a small deal with yourself? For example, if I devote just half an hour every night to write, I'll be able to finish a book in 6 months.

There is no Easy Street. Achievers make things happen. The road will be tough, but the rewards will surely be sweet. Be able to say that you've worked to make your dream come true.

Instead of working more hours away from home for 'extra money', could you invest your time in planning and saving for your dream? Do your current activities move you closer to doing what you'd love to do? Eliminate energy wasters -- things that don't move you forward.

And think about what kind of spending you can give up if it means finally living your dream. Can you funnel some of your purchases back into your dream? Are you making investments or throwing away money for superficial gains? Trade your current spending for your dream. You'll be wonderfully surprised at how much money you'll find to make your dream a reality.

25/4/05

Paper paper how do i do? A question that I want to ask the paper.

My belief was correct. No matter how much additional time put into studying an open book exam, the benefit of additional study is just so little. I'm glad that I didn't read any notes this morning. I know the importance in analyzing the question, so I listened to alot of band and ochestral music to open my mind up. I got rid of all specific knowledge inside my mind and open up the spaces for thinking. I'm glad I did that. At least today I wrong coherently, better than my previous 2 papers. Can you imagine writting exam scripts using broken english? I think i did that.

Even though I thought that the paper was ok for me, I think it was ok for everyone. So, I have no chance in getting an A. I know myself. My coursework grade is too lousy. A is too far. Hee but I'm contented. At least i know I wouldn't fall further than a B. Its a confirm B grade for me. My predictions won't be wrong. I hope.

2 more papers left. I shouldn't waste my chance for Tax paper. I think my course work is the best for Tax. The other paper is IT. I hope my complecency won't kill me. I can't believe I'm getting the kick for Law subjects haha. Sue me!! haha

Slice of life

Feel Good About Your Life

Feeling good about your life involves just two parts. Really! One is to learn to think about yourself in healthy ways. This is a learned skill, not something that a lucky few were born with. The second involves "making things happen". Seeing yourself being successful - at anything! - builds the blocks of contentment.

Use these ideas to help you feel good about your life, starting today.

Never stop questioning. Every time you feel frustrated with a task, ask yourself, "How does this task fit in with my ultimate goals?" Are your current priorities maximizing your potential or holding you back? Ask yourself "How can I do this better, faster, easier, simpler, and even more fun?"

Don't give up on life. Be interested and curious about yourself and about others. Don't assume that's "just the way it is". Look for the choices behind your results.

Accept your weakness. Don't deceive yourself by thinking you're the only one with difficulties in their life. Everybody has them (yes, everybody!). Instead of spending your time and energy trying to "overcome" your weakness, make friends with it and make it work for you.

Don't stop learning. The brain is a muscle just like any other, and it will stagnate if you let it. Make it your rule to learn something new every day. Then use what you learn to make your life better.

Don't lie to yourself. Telling lies to yourself is the most harmful form of disrespect. Write out ways in which you are untruthful to yourself, and how to correct it. "I will no longer pretend that overspending my budget is ok".

Nurture what you want to grow. Many many people are (figuratively) wondering where the roses are in their life, yet they spend all their time planting and nourishing weeds. You reap what you sow. That's just the way it is.

Don't live in the past. Let go of things that are draining you. There's nothing in the past that you can change or correct -- that can only be done in the present. Use Today. Today, change what you need to change, and move on to feeling good about your life.

Swim with the current. Don't waste your time complaining about what you can't control (weather, other people, economy). Concentrate on what you can control, like who you hug, what you read, how much you laugh, where you go, what you do, what you think about.

24/4/05

Band today. I thought I wanted more time to study but I guess its useless. I'll never be able to answer those questions even if i memorise all the things in the books. An open book is really bad for me. My mind cannot work well. I've prepared everything, I've read everything. It now depends on luck. If I'm fated to do well, I'll do well.

For those who know me, I've always complain that westwinds is very loud. Goh Toh Chai supported my view today. He conducted a piece that has choir parts. At the end of the piece, he said," Under this volume, the choir cannot sound out. We need a huge choir, a 500 strong choir." I really wanted to laugh when i heard that. Its not the first day i thought westwinds is damn loud. Too loud, freaking loud. And..... no percussionist was present today. The band itself is going to blow you away.

Anyone want to pray for me for my exam? I really donno how. Last time I said I like exam, not today. Not when you know you can't do well. It seems like my mind cannot accept the thought of being a normal student. argh.

23/4/05

Today I visited my Aunt who just gave birth to my little cousin yesterday. The baby is just soooo cute, and very awake. Her eyes would just go around looking at people. Not sleepy or lazy at all. I believe she'll be a hardworking person in the future. My mum said, toooo bad, come out toooo late haha. Well, for you to guess whats the meaning of it.

Hmm, I just feel too healthy lately haha, something is just not right. Is it a quietness before a storm? Don't know. Anyway exam is just too crazy for me to handle. When you have too much to lost, you get too engross with it and lose even more. I think its only best that I take out those things that I would lose and I'll feel much better. Life goes on whatever happens right? Anyway one more week then i'm a free guy haha.

Today band prac, someone just said," Can the euphos help so that i can breathe more", Something just got into me and i replied," But you don't need to play so loud." I was somehow a bit pissed but i replied well. This is the first time I fight back verbally to something that is hostile to me. My first step to office politics? haha Hate it.

22/4/05

I have 3 days to spend for additional revision. Today is suppose to be for tax, but i spent most part of the day watching VCDs. How many? hmm 4 discs. What else did i do? I went for a swim. Now my back is totally red. I like the sun when I'm in water, not when i'm above water. When I'm outside walking, the sun might just melt me. How far did I swim?? haha. I really miss the feeling of being free in the water. Its like going into a world of little gravity. Come to think of it, haha i really like swimming too. I swam 2km. Thats 20 times to and fro, half each time. Enjoyed the tiredness after that.

Today i really watched many shows. In the morning, I finished one Hongkong series, then at night another one on tv. damn nice.

Today is the only few days that my body could be alive throughout the day haha. I feel that I could fly hahaa. Just joking.

Slice of life


Life Balance

Being busy is often misconceived as making progress. In a society that demands high standards, emphasizes deadlines, and extols financial and academic value, it can be a struggle just to avoid getting left behind. Have you given serious thought as to why you do what you do? Is your life intentionally hectic for the wrong reasons?

A common mistake that most people make is not allowing for a balanced life-style. Remember, one's overall health and wellness require attention to six important life areas:

Physical (exercise, nutrition, sleep)
Intellectual (cultural, aesthetic values)
Social (intimate and social relationships)
Emotional (_expression of feelings, desires)
Spiritual (quest for meaning)
Career (career goal directed work)

There is no magic percentage formula for these areas, but if you neglect one entirely, you may be ignoring an important part of yourself. For example, if you set aside time for exercise you will improve your overall functioning and better manage your stress. If you take time for your intellectual growth, you will gain new perspectives on life, experience different pleasures, and be better able to focus on your goals.

Are you a morning person, a night owl, or a late afternoon whiz? Knowing when your best time is and planning to use that portion of the day for your priorities is effective time management.

Procrastination creates time bombs that will send your life crashing down later. So, when avoiding something because you dread the task, break it into smaller bits and do just one of those smaller tasks. If this is not possible, set a timer and work on that biggie for just 15 minutes. By doing a little at a time, eventually you will reach a point where you'll want to finish it once and for all.

Gaining control over your business and personal life means gaining control over your calendar. Eliminate the trivial tasks or those that do not lead to your long-term goals. Focus your efforts where they count. Managing your time requires an understanding of where your time is going, outlining your priorities, and defining a time budget and plan, even if it means changing some behaviour and monitoring the results.

21/4/05

Sigh, another paper has gone. This time I am serious with my prediction on this module. Unless other people do as sucky as i do, I don't see my chance of getting a great result. This time is bad. After the exam, I gave thoughts to the way I answered the things and frankly speaking, most of the concepts are wrong. I am a bad person, so if everyone does as badly as me, then I'll be able to get the good results. I don't know why I couldn't think properly during the exam. I guess my abilities is limited.

This world is cruel. Few would befriend with me if I didn't have many things. Results is one of them. If I perform poorly, reality is very fast in hitting you to the ground. The only thing people appreciates me is my working ability and thinking ability. If my results is just those normal kind, I believe I would be forgotten real soon. So.... true, I've tasted a sour one today. The paper I mean, sour. Where can I find sweetness? I have another 3 chances for finding sweetness.

I miss those days where I was so confident with Accounts, where teachers believed in me and friends talked to me about work. Those were the days where i know I have certainty getting the best results. Now, everyone is just so good, and I'm just a normal between them. A chinese saying," want to be on the chicken's crown rather than the bull's back." This means that I would rather be an excellent person within the ground of normal people than a normal person in a ground of excellent people.

I hate to be judged by people, I hate to be judged by results, I hate to be judged by the certificate that we'll be getting at the end of the day. Only able people survive in this society? If I only wish for a pass in ever module, would I be much happier? What is the purpose of getting the best results? To show off? To battle with myself? To get a good job? To make my family proud? To gain knowledge? If its for some selfish means, then I know I wouldn't do well. But is my real intent a selfish one?

My last 1 and a half year results won't be good, I can foresee. Getting tired of fighting.

20/4/05

I've been reading, alot alot. No laziness, well perhaps a bit laziness. Watch 3 discs of VCD. Had a nap for 30 minutes in the afternoon. Played my online game for abt 2hrs. Ah a bit of laziness really hee.

I don't know if i have prepared enough for tomorrow's terrible paper. I just want to leave everything to my mind tomorrow. Let my mind rule my heart tomorrow at the table. I will focus. I will fight. No matter how hard to battle is, I will do my best. Even if i fall, I will try to stand up again.

I'm gonna bring alot of stuffs into the hall, yup, i will. I will bring my own belief inside too. Hardworking people can always win talented people.

19/4/05

The last day of general revision. Completed all modules. From tomorrow on, its specialised and focused revision. I've set up my mind to do my best. Burn my determination!! The spirit is alive!! Wow, these words do work. As I type, I could feel the effect of brightening in my mind. As usual, aim for the best, so that I won't fall to far from it. But one thing i want to say, I hate open book exams!.

Today I went out to Toa Payoh KFC and studied there with my buddy. Somehow haha don't know why I was looking if someone is walking past the resturant. haha I'm crazy. Last few topics for accounting, that is, Liabilities and deferred tax and intangibles. Nice nice chocolate waffle to reward myself at the end of the day.

Sometimes, I don't understand what I type in this blog haha. I guess I have to buck up on my english language too. Read more during holidays. One important thing, I need to build my Jap language so that I can play Japanese RPG games.

Slice of Life

Love Your True Self (Part 1)

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your loved ones is to practice self-love. Loving and respecting yourself more than anyone else is crucial because if you're not happy, successful, life-affirming and healthy, you're not much use to anyone.

Some people always put others before them, and to them this is a very natural thing; they're genuinely selfless and sympathetic. But in the meantime, they forget who they are and lose themselves in the process. They begin to get depressed, lose focus and ambition and wonder what happened to their life to make them get to this point. The answer is simple - they let their obligations and responsibilities get in the way of fulfilling their life's destiny and, in short, they lost themselves to others.

So, how does one who has become lost be found again? We'll explore that question in this edition of "A Slice of Life" and the next.

Nobody was born disliking how they looked. As infants and young children, we were naturally self-loving. But we were taught to become insecure about our appearance as we grew up. So, reclaim that birthright. Fall in love with yourself all over again. See what you can do to enhance your appearance. I don't recommend cosmetic surgery or crash diets, but we all can look better by paying more attention to our wardrobe, grooming, fitness and how we carry ourselves. Vanity can be healthy if the person you're trying to impress is none other than yourself.

Now that you've worked on the outside, it's time to work on the inside. What's holding you back? What will set you free?

There are millions of people running around on autopilot - finding themselves consumed by everyday life and the expectations of others that they've forgotten to care about the most important person in their lives - themselves.

If we continue to neglect ourselves, what's going to happen (and that's already affecting thousands of elderly people today) is that we're going to eventually find ourselves in a place of sadness and loneliness. Because in all our running around and tending to everybody's wishes, we allowed our own problems and dissatisfactions to simmer and fester. How do we do everything for everybody and do for ourselves, too? We can't. We have to accept that. There will be times that you will not be there for someone because a part of you needs your love and time. And that's ok. You have to help yourself too, you know.

Join me in the next programme as we continue to find and embrace our true selves.

18/4/05

I got the taste of a hideous exam paper today. Its those kind that you won't confirm do well even if you have all the knowledge in your head. The questions are just so uncertain and so open to creativity. I just feel sucky about this paper. Like what i told my friends, "luckily i'm not in Banking and Finance". And, its not my core subject, so i don't need to pass it. But i think i'll pass, just that don't know how badly i'll do.

When I reach home, I have to deal with another module's progress for revision. Come to think of it, my english writing standard has fallen again. I can't even write straight sentences during the exam. Most of the answers are in point form. Thats sucky.

I hate afternoon papers cuz when you reach home, theres nothing much you can do other than wait to sleep. Thats = wasting time. I hate that. I won't be able to talk another absurb paper. I hope thursday one is alot better. Open book exams sux. How to get the best result? Sian.

Slice of life

We've all heard it before - "change is inevitable", right? Change is necessary for growth, for progress, for renewal. Yet so many of us hate change. We're afraid of it. Change implies that you have to move into unknown territory.

Think of the conversations you don't have, the people you don't let yourself meet, the business or life decisions you make in order to avoid discomfort, rejection or humiliation. The thing that most people are afraid of is the unknown. Most people gravitate to what they already know and then complain about how boring life is or how nothing ever really changes. Many choose the same course of action repeatedly even though it has proven not to bring the results they crave.

When we do this, we reinforce an old identity formed by our past, even if that identity is painful. If we were taught that we couldn't have what we want, we continue to live in accordance with that old belief, that old self-identity. We're unable to explore and open up to more of who we really are as human beings. In an economic sense, it means that we don't take calculated and informed risks. Fear stifles exploration on many fronts.

But the fear of change is irrational. As you already know, change is inevitable. It's a basic tenet of life - without change, the world would cease, life would end. There would be no point to existence. We are all meant to change, to move out of our known spheres and experience the diversity of life. This is the only way to grow, to become the optimal human being.

Life is richer when we learn to walk into the unknown. When we learn to do this, we build our personal power - the power to make changes, not simply respond to them. Of course, this means that we have to be prepared for failure, rejection or embarrassment. Why do we let these terms scare us? Will they kill us or impair us in some permanent way? No! Successful people have learnt that failure and rejection are nothing. They bounce right off their thick skins! What are failure and rejection compared to gaining new wisdom, experiencing new adventures, making new friends, and achieving even greater success and happiness?

People often view the unknown as holding negatives and upsets. So they keep away from it. As a result, they never find out that the unknown can also be rich, exhilarating and creative. So if you want to move forward in your life, begin by choosing to challenge yourself in an area of your life in which you would like to see change. Notice what stops you from moving forward, anything that derails your commitment. Find the support needed to navigate the new territory and this means: don't be afraid or shy to ask for help. Not knowing is perfectly natural; not asking means you're fearful.

17/4/05

Tomorrow is the day for my first paper. Can anyone hear my heart race? Although its just a general elective, and I don't need to pass it to complete my degree, I would still want to do my best for it. I couldn't aim so high because i didn't put much effort into that module. I just did my tutorial thats all. No extra reading, no participation in project, little participation in class. My quiz sux anyway for that module.

My dog is just so funny. It went to Bishan park with my parents and did a little exercise there. What happened to it now? Sleeping sweet and sound beside my father. Whats my dad doing? Playing his favourite racing game, Gran Turismo 4. The dog is just so dead tired. And its damn funny cuz no matter how near i go to it, it just doesn't show any sign of alertness.

Westwinds practice today is just so tired. Come to think of it, playing music does give you abs. I mean the muscles. Haha. I've never played using so much energy before. And remember about the Osaka trip I talked about? I really don't know if i should go. The way they put it is like so fun. 5 days official trip, then take bullet train to Tokyo for another 2 days to watch Tokyo Kosei's concert in Tokyo for FREE!. Well, our boss said he could get us to watch it for free. Its like a chance in a life time. Its worth it for a 1.5k to 2k price right? See the world. But I'm not very close with the people there.... hmm if i go, my main aim is to connect with the nature there. I bet the trees and flowers are beautiful.

I think I should tell myself that I have done my best to prepare myself for the exam tomorrow. If something funny comes out, then i could only say that i'm suay. Sigh, self contentment. Ah head pain now. Can't handle stress. WHAT A WEAKLING (myself)

Talk about weakling. I watched this show called The Apprentice before i went to bed. This show(game show) is about these few people working together as a team for a company for various projects. At the end of the day, these few people will enter a room for a board meeting where the directors would decide who is the weakest of them all for that day and fire that person. So for this episode, there were only 3 person left, and they have lost a business deal. During the board meeting, the directors would have to evaluate the performance of those 3 people by asking questions. There was such a big commotion there that they seems to be fighting verbally. Oh i didn't mention, 2 ladies, 1 guy. The guy was the project manager. So he gave pure comments about the performances of the 2 ladies. But one of the ladies got so worked up and she kept yelling and shouting," No thats Not True, I made this and gave creative ideas, thats not true that i didn't do anything!"

In the end, the 2 ladies had strong and loud verbal confrontation while that guy, trying to defend himself, had no chance to talk at all! the 2 ladies are just so damn loud. The Director got enough of it and wacked the table *bam bam bam!* "THats enough of you. Andy (that guy), you are being pounded you know, and i can't have a person like that leading the company. you're fired!"

The scene is just so dramatic. I would remember that for life. Am I going to face such situations? Where shouting and yelling is the way to keep my rice bowl intact? Where pushing blame and stabbing people is the only way out? And some people really just don't listen, they just talk. They didn't even give the guy a chance to talk. You have to work your voice louder than them to be heard. And those ladies talked damn fast. Its worst than 2 cymbals crashing in front of you. Should I learn from this? Being firm with ideas, contronting people, talking louder than others? Maybe i should try for one semester and see what happens. Joking. I don't like to do those kind of things. *Pray*, please don't let me work with westerners.

16/4/05

Today i have alot of things to say!

I discovered so many things during the band practice today. First, my mentor, Clarence led his school band in the SYF competition and achieve a Gold award with honour. Oh My GOD!! Thats is soooo good. I really want to imagine how he felt at the time when he heard the results. I think that was heaven. And he handled the band himself!! Thats a million times better than some bands who gotten outside tutors to help. He said he chose a ochestra piece for the choice piece. OMG thats double OMG. No doubt, his musicality is superb. He is really my idol. That kind of achievement will definitely be a kind of feeling that no one can ever imagine. Mind you, this is only his second SYF with that band.

Next, just in case someone is interested, Zhong Hua Secondary School band got a Gold for the competition under the baton of Mr Anthony Chew.

Next, WASBE concerts. I just received an order form for student concession tickets. My westwind president asked me to past to NTU band, but then i'm not in contact with them. Sigh. I want to watch so many concerts but the tickets are too expensive for normal tickets. The student tickets can only be ordered through educational institutions. If i wait for the SISTIC sales date for student tickets, I'm sure all tickets will be sold out. Darn. Any kind friend can get me extra tickets at student rate? Hmm so sad. Tokyo kosei will be the hottest one. BTW below are the bands that are coming in july.

Singapore Youth Wind Orchestra and Singapore Chinese Orchestra, Republic of Korea Navy Band, 10 July

Hong Kong Wind Philharmonia, University of Florida Wind Symphony, 11 July

Westwinds, Young People's Symphonic Band of North Rhine Westphalia, 12 July

Stadtharmonie Zurich Oerlikon-Seebach, Senzoku Gakuen College of Music Wind Ensemble & Ensemble Nouveau, 13 July

Chinese Youth Corps Wind Orchestra, Frysk Fanfare Orchestra & Boston Brass, 14 July

Pacific Symphonic Wind Ensemble, Singapore Armed Forces Central Band, 15 July

International Youth Wind Orchestra, Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra, 16 July

As you can see, theres 2 bands a day. afternoon session is 3.30pm, night at 7.30pm. Tokyo Kosei at 5.30pm

Get tickets from SISTIC or order forms.

Hmm anyone wants to go?

15/4/05

Today is the day when I laugh at my own writing. Those who know my style of studying, will know that i write alot during my revision. And after a few hours of writing, my eyes show signs of blurness. So how? I started to replace relevant by "revelant". This reminds me of the days when one of my friend, kept laughing at his friend's pronounciation of that word relevant. And the Towers record instead of Tower Records. And also memorise instead mesmorise. Spot the joke yourself.

Ah, I'm right, its the worst module of all. just 5 seminars i'm crazy already. Now my mind all accounting stuffs. Economic Income vs Accounting Income. Cash basis, vs accrual basis, vs present value basis. Informative perspective vs Measurative perspective of accounting information. Is that all about Income i need to know? Oh ya and that capital maintenance concept. Financial capital maintenance vs Physical capital Maintenance. And Financial statement Framework. See! haha i did my work.

Count down 3 more days. I'm home for so long. Even ants are accompanying me when i'm studying. They just travel up and down my papers and I just can't be bothered. haha. Headache now. Someone save me? In the old days, they say," In books you'll find the gold house, In books you'll find beauty". Dream?

Slice of life

DeStressing Your Life

The pressures of modern society can make life very distressing. We worry about our jobs, our children, our relationships, our health, and our financial security. Occasionally, several problems can combine to bring about an emotional breakdown.

That's why it's so important to regularly make time to de-stress your life. Don't allow yourself to fall into protracted periods of intense strife and frustration, because that's when one's spirit starts to keel over from the burden.

Here are some ways to de-stress your life:

Firstly, don't try to accomplish too many things at one time. Multi-tasking is a useful ability, but sometimes we may bite off more than we can chew. As a result, our attention is scattered and we end up doing nothing right. Focus on one thing, do it well, and move on to the next.

The mind can be a nucleus of concentration or an aimless drifter. The wandering mind can pick up and retain lots of useless and destructive thoughts, so frequently clear your mind of such clutter. Thoughts that initiate worry, envy or resentment won't help you become happier or become a better person.

An important step to increasing happiness and reducing stress is to stop trying to please everyone. Don't allow other people's remarks or opinion of you to lower your self-esteem. Simply because someone disapproves of you doesn't make you wrong or bad. Work on pleasing yourself first before trying to please others. (relates to me)

And refuse to let fear determine your state of mind. Fear is a very spontaneous emotion and most of us can't help being afraid sometimes. But being fearful achieves nothing. It won't solve your problem. And we often miss out on the good and positive things in life because we were too busy being scared. There is no time to waste on fear. Whatever your predicament, face it bravely and constructively.

14/4/05

I finished the last 4 tutorials from this Accounting decision making and control module. Tomorrow I'll start with accounting disclosure. The hardest of them all. "One module to rule them all" ops Lord-of-the-Rings syndrome. Seriously, my expectations for this sem is not as high as last sem. I've already know it. I won't be able to maintain my results. All my course work gone. I don't even know if my Non exam grades would reach even a B.

Today i played alot of games, even more than studying. I went back to play an SNES game, Lufia 2. Suddenly feels that its a damn fun game. Thanks to my buddy, he informed me about the Manji Maru 3 release hee, and he is going to get it for me!! So good buddy. How I wish i can enjoy my holiday totally. KTvs, Arcades, Drinking, Movies, PS2, Shopping, lotsa beach strolling, night strolling, concerts, band practices, band teaching, WASBE conference, composing, Hk series, Korean series, Anime, ..... do you consider that interesting? All individual stuffs............... Well, I'm use to it.

Ah my lips cracking like hell hahaa. Damn the medicine haha but 2 more months and i'm getting rid of them muahhaa. Then I'll regain my sexy lips again muhahaa. I'm crazy.

I heard some tv thing said," to know whether a man is faithful, look at him when he is rich. to know whether a girl is faithful, look at her when she is poor." How true? I don't know. The guy part i understand, but girl part..... nope.

After reading the slice of life haha, I think I didn't even put in the foundation, i want to put the roof. I'm a damn lousy chap haha. Sometimes, when i look back, I find myself a big joke.

Slice of Life

Your Relationship is Like a House

Building a relationship is like building your dream house. It begins as a stirring of emotion and a grand vision. Then you begin laying the foundation, erecting the beams, placing the bricks, painting the walls, and furnishing the interior. For a few years, your home is a shiny, clean, strong and comfortable abode.

But then, due to neglect and lack of maintenance, the paint starts to peel, the windows begin to crack, and little holes begin to appear in the walls and roof. At its core, you still have a great home in a beautiful setting. But the deterioration in the structure of your house is slowly marring its comfort and beauty. Passers-by can soon see the wear-and-tear of the years and the decline of neglect.

Your relationship, like a house, needs constant care and maintenance. Otherwise, little holes in the nooks and crannies will gradually grow into gaping cavities that may be difficult to repair. Rust will begin to eat into the pipes, causing them to leak, destroying the wood.

The truth is that whether you're talking about a house or a relationship, if there are any "holes" or flaws in them, they didn't just show up overnight. They are there because you didn't notice them and fix them right away before they grew bigger.

Now, you could move to another house but it wouldn't be long before problems start showing up in your new house if you don't do a better job of maintaining it. It's the same with your relationships. So how can you care for and maintain your relationship?

Firstly, you have to give the relationship your attention. Sounds logical, right? But the fact is, many people get into a relationship and then put it on auto-pilot. Then months or years later, they wonder what happened.

If you haven't planned a date together in a while, take some time right now and plan some type of get-away even if it's just for an hour at your favourite restaurant or a walk in a park alone together.

Make some time for the two of you to be together and to enjoy each other. Make a plan to talk every day (or at least on a regular basis) about what really matters to the two of you. This can simply mean taking a few moments to tell each other what you appreciate about the other person. Give compliments generously. And don't let the playfulness and humour out of your relationship.

Also, whenever something comes up between you and your partner, don't let it linger and become an even bigger issue. Tackle the monsters in the relationship when they're small and they won't grow up to be large enough to devour your relationship.

13/4/05

Went according to schedule. One more day and I'll complete another module. Then left the last one, and the most difficult one. Terrible accounting Standards. Darn. I awaits the day when the papers starts. I'll leave all to fate after I've done all my work. Although I believe in fate, I would still want to do all preperation work. Then I would feel better even if i didn't do well in the end.

Singapore building casino hmm. So many social concerns. If want me to say.... you build or no build also make no difference. Those who will die under gambling, will still die under gambling. You don't let them gamble in singapore, they'll just go elsewhere to gamble. So how? They'll patronise our dear neighbour's playground. So... you want them to keep money in singapore, or give money to our dear neighbour? I guess they would build it in the end. Thats my guess. I don't represent any government, so haha its only MY thinking. Tourism would improve, hopefully tax would drop since government would have high collection from casino.

As I'm typing this, I just saw on tv, some women, spending 12k on a handbag, and 600 bucks on a pair of shoes. And they say " OH We WORTH it, We work very hard for our money. We WOrth Every cent." The host of that show asked her did she try 50 bucks shoes? She said," OH Noooooo. When It comes to quality.... theres no compromise." Then her sister, sitting beside her continued," I'm more adventurous, and I've bought 6-9 pairs of shoes at 100 odd each.... and I rarely wear more than once..... (why? host asked) Because they are unbearable."

Beep Beep, reality check. Disgust. Period. TOTALLY DISGUSTED, not about the subject matter. Its the way she said it.

Slice of Life

Perfect Imperfection

Sometimes, developing spiritually and learning more about ourselves and the world requires that we first "un-learn" some lessons of the past. We often get taught very powerful yet incorrect lessons as we go through life.

Most parents would never hurt their kids but they often inadvertently do, by implanting debilitating messages - that who we are, what we do isn't good enough, that imperfection is not acceptable, that to be praised, to be loved, to be rewarded, we must be smart, good looking, rich, popular and respected. How many times have you seen a parent screaming to a child that he's careless, lazy, selfish or stupid? Will the child grow up to a self-affirming adult? Or will his sense of self-worth be affected?

Throughout our lives, we've been taught the value of pursuing perfection. That has led us to believe intrinsically that imperfection is wrong, that it's incomplete, it's broken, it's bad. That we, and everything else, always needs fixing.

A Sanskrit mantra roughly translates into: This is perfect. That is perfect. From the perfect, comes the perfect. If from the perfect the perfect is taken away, only the perfect remains.

Peace of mind comes from the realization that we're all perfect, that everything is perfect. Such is the sense of perfection we get when holding a baby, when making our partners laugh, when slaking our thirst with cool water, when looking at trees, when swaying to music, when inhaling the salty breath of the sea. The miracle of Life, the beauty of Nature, the promise of renewal.

This sense of perfection is our greatest blessing. It's present at all times and doesn't require any healing or change to take place. You only have to open your eyes and notice what is, rather than trying to correct what you believe is wrong.

In Japanese flower arranging it is common that one of the branches in the arrangement is bent or broken, to signify that the arranger has attempted to present the flowers in a "natural" state. It is the "imperfection" of the broken branch that makes it "perfect", or closer to what naturally is.

Each one of us, no matter how evolved we might believe ourselves to be, has imperfections and personal ego attachments. These imperfections and attachments are not something to be overcome or transcended, but rather something to be understood, appreciated, and accepted. Embrace who you are wholeheartedly.

12/4/05

I'm not a zombie today. I laughed, I joked, I smiled. Thankz for making the day so fun buddy. Though, I'm still a bit zombotic. A nice day of studying with a friend. Could chat, laugh and eat together. I guess that Mac is our exam gathering place. Tomorrow is another day but this time in Mac's rival, KFC!! Hope its a nicer place. Ah don't treat me again ah, i very very paiseh.

The lightning at night was just so scary. For a moment when the lightning flashed, I thought i was gone. The total whiteness covered my sight. I guess I have come to value life more. There are things to be done, there are dreams to be fulfilled. Although, I haven't set out my dreams yet. Everyone should have a dream. I'm just worried that my dream would be a too big one.

Slice of Life

Life Management Skills

Most of us lead increasingly stressful lives. This world is moving fast and none of us wants to get left behind. So we nearly break our backs trying to achieve the things we think will make us happier. But the demands of modern life often leave us feeling dragged out and inadequate.

Does this sound familiar? "Life just seems to be whizzing past. I don't feel as though I'm spending enough quality time on the things that matter most to me. I worry a lot that I'm going to somehow miss my life and then it will be over."

This is a very common anxiety. Too often, we spend so much of our lives hopping on and off trains that we don't even think about whether we would be happier simply taking a walk and breathing in Nature instead.
So how can we ensure that those things of greatest importance to us get the amount of attention they deserve?
First, identify the top four priority categories in your life. For most of us, these are spirituality and personal development, family and relationships, career, and personal care and health. Honestly assess how much time you give to each category.

Do you devote 80% of your time to work and expect your family life to be rich and rewarding? Do you spend only 10% of your time caring for your health and wonder why you're ill so often? Do you dedicate 70% of your time to your family and are upset that your career isn't exactly taking off?

Something has to give. We can't all be corporate superstars, fantastic parents, wonderful spouses, devoted friends, and joyful and healthy individuals. Well, some of us appear to be but we often don't see the areas where they're lacking. Identify your priorities and give yourself credit for growth in those areas.

Practice being in the present moment only. Worrying on Saturday about that application you can only send in on Monday is pointless. Worrying takes precious time and attention away from your priorities and increases your feelings of dissatisfaction about life. Be patient and loving with yourself. Always remember, life is an ongoing process and it will throw you curve balls from time to time. But with practice, you will find coming back to equilibrium gets quicker and easier.

11/4/05

I can't believe it, I finished 1 module in 2 days. Now left 2 more modules. 3 down, 2 to go. One week before 1st paper. Anyway my first paper is for fun one, cuz I don't need to pass it anyway. I just took the module for interest. I pratically don't care about that paper.

Played some games in between, watched some tv, listen to some cds. My head is just to heavy with technology stuffs now. The 7pm hongkong show is an interesting one. I kinda enjoy it. Especially when people goes together. Except for those evil woman, overall still good show. Haha My mum got angry with that evil woman haha damn funny.

7 days 7 days. Sigh, nothing else in my head except that 7 days. I'll feel empty after the exams, confirm plus guarantee.

Slice of life

See the Positive

Too often, we focus on the negative aspects of any given situation. We imagine that people are always out to hurt or humiliate us; very often, these are our own family members. Every little word or action ill-perceived is twisted into a personal attack. We see our road to our goals as paved with barriers and can't understand why. The world seems full of enemies when really, the only enemy is our attitude.

If we can learn to look at every difficult situation as a present - to see the possibilities it holds as a gift, a great weight is immediately lifted. Every setback is now an opportunity. Imagine the immense empowerment of that kind of attitude!

When you are in a difficult or a stressful situation, ask yourself:
1) Could it be worse?
2) Are there lessons I can learn to avoid a similar situation in the future?
3) What good can be realized?
4) What am I going to do about it?

COULD IT BE WORSE? Most of the time, things could always be worse. By reflecting on a worse situation, it helps put the current situation into perspective. We realize that very often, we're being overly-sensitive or excessively affected by a stressful situation.

ARE THERE LESSONS I CAN LEARN TO AVOID A SIMILAR SITUATION IN THE FUTURE? Look at the situation. Could it have been avoided? Mistakes are our greatest teachers and one of the most amazing abilities we possess is the capacity for greater knowledge and wisdom! No sense dwelling on the past. Recognize and think of ways for the future to avoid a similar situation.

WHAT GOOD CAN BE REALIZED? This is the gift. Sometimes you have to look deeply. Sometimes you don't even realize until later. But in every situation, there is a positive, you just have to find it! Your heart will thank you for empowering it instead of pressurizing it.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? Very often, simply by taking action, you can begin to make your situation better. Many people just mope and languish. But not you - think about what you can do and do it now! There may yet come a time when there is nothing you can do to help yourself or others. But the time is not now. Leap forward!

10/4/05

I couldn't find anything to say. Its just a blank paper in my day. Total emptiness. Perhaps i should say that my mind now is blank. No feelings, no thoughts, just emptiness.

Paper, empty, blank, null.

Another earthquake. Challenged by nature.

9/4/05

Final completed the things needed to be done for another module. That makes 2 modules done, 3 to go. 8days before my first paper. That means its bad haha. darn. But i just can't help playing games. My mind is just heated haha.

Today band prac is just so fun. I has been so long since i last crack stupid jokes. My co section mate just laugh at my stupid response to some lousy questions. I think i've started to change my playing style. No longer the cool demure sound. Its now full, emotion, open, dynamic sound. Muahahaa.

There are so much thoughts going through but i just can't remember to type them here. dah forget it. Thats all tonight. Too late already.

8/4/05

did 3 lectures today. Left 2 more lectures for this current module i'm on. If i were to count the number of days left, I'm behind time by 2 lectures. Darn... bad. Anyway, today is the day that i've planned my night for enjoyment. I'm going to play PS 2 later. I don't care!

Yesterday, a mosquito came into my lair and bothered my sleep. Its stealth skills were superior. It managed to hit me 6 times and got away with it... but of course, i was sleeping. I couldn't stand it and woke up to give it an ambush. I armed myself with the electrocutor and waited, waited and waited waited *yawn*. I went back to sleep, but woke up soon after it hit me somemore times. Darn. This time I recce the room for 30minutes. Still no sign of that perposterous insect. Then..... I finally saw it, it was flying fast in random direction. My eyes could barely catch it. It was flying in a S formation in a 45 degrees plane. I wielded my tennis racket and gave it a forehand... but i missed. Thats not the end!! I turned my hand and gave it a backhand at the path it was taking. WAMP! And *PIAK!* Burnt mosquito. I'm damn cruel. I won't kill those who's innocent, but if you bother me, then i'll retaliate.

It was yesterday when I saw on the news about Taiwan's president going to see the Pope for the last time. Then China have to object........ dah! What is this world coming into. Fights, wars, quarrels, missles, tankers. Can't people just talk and peace? Anyway why bother about whether people wanna be free, wanna make decisions, wanna live their lives? I just wonder why countries have to object things being done in another country. Is objecting that fun? Why wouldn't the world combine their mind and put their energy into building a better environment and society? Just because there are different leaders in different countries, it doesn't mean that you have to show people that you have power. The greatest leaders are those who thinks about the big picture. Consider the natural disasters, the terrorists that we have to fight. Does it mean that some people just have to play punk during peace time?

We can also see from the Korea and Japan incident from the news..... dah... I better not comment on specific things. I might get shot right?

I'm just thinking about a world where there is a superior leader for the world. Someone who cares about the whole world and look into the well being of the whole world as a whole. All countries should not live as a seperate organization. They should be supporting and helping each other. Besides, we are all human beings living on earth. Its not about reign and control, its about care and concern. Dah I'm thinking too much. I'm just a small guy, can't do much.

Tata

7/4/05

My favourite phrase for today," tou2 da4 da4, shen1 ti3 xiao3 xiao3" meaning, head big big, body small small. Thats what happen when you thinking too much. I really feel my head growing. So heavy! i could stare at the notes for god knows how long. only managed to complete 3 lectures. Its taking longer than i thought. People say that i'm so organised with things. Its true when i see how i organise my revision timings. But, if unforeseen circumstances hit me, i'll go total haywire. Its good or bad? Perhaps bad for this ever-changing economy. I hate changes.

Somehow i thought my dog was having a cold war with me. Reason being, I took her bed to become a cushion for my butt. I guess she didn't like that. Ignored me throughout the whole day. But what to do? I don't want my butt to crack just because i sit on the floor for so long.

I'm so loss touch with the world outside, but at least i watch news. I'm growing fat too because i eat so much. Ahhhhh I couldn't believe this is happening to me. Worst than i thought. I need to eat half the amount i usually eat.

I'm living in this world that only has, a table, 4 walls, stack of worksheets, lecture notes and text books, tin of water, a ceiling fan, ceiling light, tiled floor. Dar dar dar! A big Dumbo i'll become. I'm getting crazy soon.

I guess nothing would be interesting in my blog for these few weeks, ah so..... any visitor, please bear with it. :)

Slice of Life

Get and Stay Organised

Often we are overwhelmed because we are holding too many things in our brain. We are trying to make everything a priority and get it done now. When really we can eliminate at least 60% of those things and become more accomplished and successful.

Do you find yourself feeling frustrated that you never have enough time to do the things you really enjoy? Do you go through most of the week feeling hurried, hassled, out of control? Is your home and workplace covered with piles of newspapers, unread magazines, junk-mail, and other papers you are just about to get to? When you need to find something, does it often take minutes or hours of searching to finally find it? Do you have files that bulge or have nothing in them?

Messes in our lives aren't limited to stacks of unread email or that long to-do list. They include unresolved issues in our relationships with others, issues with weight or health, our finances or things we've always wanted to do but thought we never had the time. These unresolved situations and messes in your life are very draining and can become debilitating if you don't take the time to get your physical surroundings and personal life in order. Each time you clean up a mess, you increase your concentration, confidence and energy levels.

Try this exercise that I've seen Michelle use very effectively:

On a blank piece of paper draw lines dividing the paper in four equal parts. In the first section, jot down all the incomplete projects you have started. Include projects from the home and office.

In the second section, jot down all the projects for both the home and office you have been thinking of doing but haven't started yet.

In the third section jot down the things you aren't doing but really would like to start. Make sure to include the things that would give you some special time for yourself. Like reading a few chapters a day or practicing your watercolor painting.

In the fourth section jot down the things you would like to change or remove from your busy life.

Review the sections of your paper and pick one thing to work on every two weeks. If it is small choose a second thing and begin working on that. You will be impressed with how much better you feel.

6/4/05

"Ahhhhhhhh *clark clark* " Thats how i sounded when i try to stand up from a sitting position from the floor. I took 2 naps today. One at 12pm the other at 5pm. In between, I sat on the floor in the living room, reading my notes, and organizing my thoughts. The tax module proves to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Only manage to finish 2 lectures in 7 hrs. What was I doing in between? haha. Perhaps the distraction from my parents contributed to my slowness but i didn't mind at all. My father played PS2 in front of me ahhhhh.

I also finished watching another korean series, but it isn't the best. Well, not too bad actually.

I watched some tv at night at just felt very sad for the victims of the tsunami. What a tragedy. Another show talked about unwed mothers. Somehow the issues presented is really true. So, its wrong to kill the baby. But, the society.... doesn't accept unwed mothers. Not allowed to apply for homes, no employer wants them, no government support, financial difficulties, and unaccepted by the family. Sigh. Like what I always say, marriage seems to be a just a legal document. Where is the love in this modern age?

5/4/05

Ah the quiz!! Omg, I was guessing most of the time, and trying to recall what i'd read in the book. It wasn't a good sign. That means i don't know my stuff. Anyway tax is just such a ahhhh tough thing. I wonder how i could survive. If i'm evil, I'll just pray that every0ne does as badly as me haha.

Anyway, from tomorrow onwards, its full time factory product of knowledge. Its notes and text book eating time. All fully scheduled, and provisions for unexpected events are already provided for. 5 modules, and 12 days left before first paper. 1 module going down, left 4, and 3 days for each module, and 4 lecture notes to eat everyday. That bad. Very bad.

I finished watching Naruto to episode 124. I'm motivated! Sigh, but sometimes people does make me feel damn lousy. Why must I meet these kind of people? Well, some things are uncontrolable. At least now i know another situation that i might face in the business world.

Haha I'm going to enjoy the factory production of knowledge. Beware, I eat books. Can someone just invent something that boost memory temporary? Darn. And could someone invent something that can make someone disappear for a while. lala, or maybe something that can take out a part of the memory? I'm dreaming again haha.

Slice of Life

Improve Your Self-Esteem

Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.

The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.

We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back. To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket.

At the end of the week, read over your self-pride list, and give yourself a mental hug. This is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to create the kind of life you want.

4/4/05

Went to school for a 4 hr seminar, but in the end, the seminar finished in 1 hr. I hated that tutor so much but today, i didn't. A thought came to me again. This is nothing new, its just the reminder to myself.

No matter how much you hate that person, no matter how much you dislike that person. At the end of the day, all things come to and end and there will be no more negative emotions. Its true for everything. At the end of the day when one dies, all hatred disappears, all things will settle down and its peace. Haha. How true. Anger and hatred is only for a duration.

Tomorrow i have a quiz. Nothing much to type today also. Ciao.

3/4/05

Nothing much today. Now I finally found out that i love eating cakes. A new confectionary shop just opened nearby and its those nice nice kind. Sort of breadtalk style but not very similar. They have nice cakes. Chocolate cakes!! Faint (too excited).

I finished looking through 4 lecture notes in abt 4-5 hrs. Thats a helluva too long. haha. I got a quiz next tues and i'm only reading on that module during my bus rides.

Naruto is fun! I watched 4-5 episodes at one go. If i tell people i'm having fun, they might just kill me. Cuz i still have 2 projects not completed. I've entrusted them to my friends. Maybe if you look at the other side of the coin, just say i'm pure lazy. Thats my style.

Thats all, tired, sleep. Ciao.

2/4/05

I haven't feel so carefree for such a long time. Today is a day of mind recovery for me. I actually wanted to enjoy and play as much as i want which I did for 4 hours from 10am to 2 pm, but after much thought about the time i have left for revision, i need to start something today to catch up. I did. 2 hrs. Then anime for another 2 hrs. Then its band time. Finally, after so long, i get to go for band. This time, I have prepared myself adequately for it. 2 weeks of air and buzzing training didn't go to waste. I lasted throughout the whole band session. Then again, my fingers doesn't do very well. Need more practice on that.

thats all for today. Nothing much educational today haha. Can't remember what i wanted to type, so i don't want to bother trying to remember. Sleeping time.

1/4/05

Sigh, why am i so easily pissed by that person. Why would that person be so insensitive? Does that person know what is effective group discussion? I have given up trying to contribute ideas during the meetings because whenever i say something, my friend's voice will come back sharp and firm with some negative comments. Ah damn.

Today I walked out of that project meeting, without even telling them I went off. I msged one of them though. I couldn't stand the doing nothing and just standing there looking at what one of them was typing at the computer. That friend I was talking about stood beside the comp and kept on giving advice and suggestions and what shit. I could only stand there silently and watch. 30mins have passed and I didn't contribute anything. I couldn't, in fear of being shoot again. I don't like doing nothing, its just a waste of time. I walked away. I hope this is the last time i'll be working with that friend. Its really the horoscope doesn't match.

At night, a group mate from another project msged me, giving me more information about the requirements in that project (not the one in the previous paragraph). So I sms backed many things regarding what i thought and what i'll do for those points. No reply. I thought I'm ignored again. Ahhhh why must I be like that? Can't I stop being so sensitive? In the end, this friend told me that the msg was reading after 2 hrs. Well, then it isn't that friend's fault. At least my effort for the project would be seen.

A typical Leo perhaps? Someone said leo don't trust people. I don't think i'm that kind of person.