30/12/05

Next sem, I'm able to put more time into study. My teacher doesn't require me to go down to teach band because I'm not able to commit fully to it. I agree to it actually. Its better for him to get one permanent one for this crucial period because band competition is coming. And its my final sem. No more happy-go-lucky attitude. I shall put those into the toilet bowl and wash them away.

Today is the last day for my current job (assignment). Its gives me a feeling similar to one that I would experience when i finish watching a drama series. Grateful to those accountants who helped me find so many things. I'm such a pest actually.

Sometimes, I do have an urge to want to talk to someone haa. But also donno what to talk. wierd. I think i talk to my dog lah. No need to think of topics haa.

Night Jap drama, last episode. Its a great show. Although the bad was bad, but in the end, I pity for him. The good has remained good always, and I admire the good spirit. Am I nearer to good or the bad one?

Slice of Life

How We Deal With Mistakes

Human beings are imperfect. We are fallible. No matter how hard we try, how wise and experienced we are, or how often we practise, no one can escape the fact that sometimes, we fail. We all make mistakes. What sets the winners from the losers is how they handle setbacks. Do we get upset? Do we go into denial? Do we make ourselves feel so bad that it becomes harder and harder to leave the ground each time we fall?

Mistakes are not necessarily bad, meaningless or useless. They are a crucial element in our path of knowledge and improvement. The more mistakes you make, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you grow, and the more likely you'll be able to shine brighter in future.

When you were a young growing child, how were you supposed to know the oven was hot? Or that when you say something impolite you'll hurt someone's feelings? If you make a mistake, at least you made a valiant attempt. At least you wouldn't be stuck in that limbo of not knowing whether you would succeed or not.

Very often, we take mistakes far too seriously. So you made a mistake, so what? The world keeps turning, and the bugs keep biting. It's not a question of "I made a mistake, I'm so sorry, I was such a fool". Rather, it's a question of "Ok, I messed up. What am I going to do about it? How can I avoid making the same mistake again?"

The best leaders out there are the ones who made the most mistakes but learnt from them. The ones that never discovered or acknowledged their faux pas never made it into the business world and never made a difference in their own life, or the world.

We all fail. But only a handful truly learn from their mistakes. And these are the ones who will eventually go on to achieve great success and wisdom.

29/12/05

Blog, as it seems to be short, is getting even shorter. Somehow, its not very appropriate for everyone to know what i did for the whole day. I suddenly feels the need to get back a little privacy now. Its good because I can control the level of exposure in blogs. I find that I might have less things to talk to people who frequent my blog.

Also, I don't want this place (blog) to be a place for people to mock at my failure or my complaints, which I seem to always have and make.

Is it better to have a longer blog or shorter blog?

Anyway today. I felt so important for the current job because I am answerable to the reviewing manager for the sections i do. And, I'm answerable to my team IC for important explainations made by the clients regarding some figures. First time in the job where I finally used my brain to analyse what the client says..... very complicated. Think my IC also blur.

Taking cab to work everyday! Shiok.

Learning more and more about the audit process.

Even though IC expected alot from me and I got so stressed, I learnt the most from this job. I seem to tend to survive in tough situations. Now is to see if i can survive when people stab me from behind.

Its time to make some really good friends for my life is going to be dry and filled with work. (experiencing the cannot-see-the-sun-situation)

Would someone say Okairinasai to me in future?

Today's Slice of life is just so correct. Read for yourself. I truly believes it.

Slice of Life

Vibrating With the Right Frequency

A man is known by the company he keeps. We have heard that phrase so many times. Our folks have cautioned us often with that in our childhood. Do we need to heed that advice in our business? Where do you hang out? Who do you hang out with? What is your business surrounded by?

Christiaan Huygens ("hye gurns") was a scientific genius of the early 17th century. He discovered a law of resonance, which was well accepted in physics later and is now being applied to brain science.

The story goes that Huygens kept a few pendulum clocks on the wall of his room. Each clock swung independently. He discovered that after a few cycles of independent swinging, all the clocks started swinging precisely in a synchronized rhythm.

He deduced that waves from clocks produced vibrations in the wall which in response produced waves that synchronized the rhythm of all the clocks.

Scientists are now studying if this same phenomenon occurs in human brain waves.

Have you ever noticed that successful people are surrounded by similarly successful ones? Is it mere coincidence that when like-minded people are at work, success is more likely?

In applying this theory to your life, you can attract success by surrounding yourself with people who are successful or have faith that great things are possible. Similarly, avoid the naysayers and complainers. They give out negative vibrations that could impact your own thoughts and behaviour.

Your mind reacts to them like walls did to the clock and produces similar waves. Before you realize it, you would already have lost faith in your dream.

Your mind is the powerhouse of ideas which will make your business a success. Your mind is the source of your strength that enables you to carry the burden in difficult times. Feed your mind the good food. Avoid stuffing it with junk food.

So reset your clocks. It's time to vibrate with the right frequency.

28/12/05

Stressed IC, Stressed team, Stressed people, Stressed Mood = Low quality work.

Audit work= unexpected events, Meeting new people, Different new environments, Corporate exposures.

Where to find a job that can let you job hop so many times?

No regrets.

27/12/05

A feeling of being a boss of a shopping mall. Well, I'm dreaming haa, pardon me.

An encounter with a very stressed up IC.

An encounter with a super nice A2 (rank in audit).

(Will reduce my daily life contents from then on. When time comes, I'll stop blogging. I'm feeling so exposed, especially when there are people who you don't really want them to read your blog. I guess this will give people more reason to talk to me over a meal haa)

26/12/05

Somethings not right. Send a couple of msgs out and no response. Well, not to only one person but a few. Either i'm so hateful, or so pest, or that the handphone is really something wrong. I wonder. Well, People who wants to contact me should call instead.

I could squeeze my voice higher liao. Having fun singing Wang li hong's and David tao's songs. Amazingly, today I made some successful attempts on the falseto (wrong spelling). FIrst time in history.

Gonna catch the great jap show at 10pm. thats all folks

Its the show where i can see clearly, the evil heart and kind heart. It is a show for me, to learn how to pursue my career without jepordizing (wrong spelling again) the integrity (I don't know how to define this word) that lies within me. The spirit of working for the sake of the good of the clients (in that show's case, the patients). Even if it needs me to leave the job for the sake of integrity, i think i should (bad english).

I'm being polluted in the mind with all the politics that lies within any corporation. I'm being polluted by all the evil around my environment. It is really terrible for me to think that treating other people badly is a way of survival.

I just wonder.... when will be the day where i would say," I can't stand it anymore, I'm leaving this job." Or would the conclusion be," I can't stand it anymore, let me join them." I don't know.

If.... my handphone is working perfectly fine, then I have already sense the proudness in a high ranking personnel. The corporate world is a place.... full of smiles on the surface, and lots of knifes behind your back.

25/12/05

Orchard during christmas, a place of warfare. People (ah bengs, ah lians, civilians), equipped with short range shot gun (party spray), 见人就喷. I turned on my tactical mind and engaged in swift movement, hoping no one will aim me. Actually, I got hit when I was adjusting my camera for a shot at a Gigantic M&Ms. Luckily, it was blanks. No ammo!!! Ha, I was lucky.

10pm alot Orchard Rd. Bad bad. Moving inches by inches. I had to get out. Freed myself from the "sardinic" (adopted from the word sardines) situation after a while. The side of the walk way nearer to Taka is the red zone. Go there and you'll hear people spray, screaming, and people ambushing. The safe side is the one opposite.

Photos uploaded at my online photo album of course haa. enjoy.

24/12/05

Christmas eve. Peace.

I'm still finding excuses for my lousy results. Well, I'm starting to reach the stage of internal attribution. Its just a process of blaming. I usually go from external attribution to internal. External meaning everything other than myself. And after internal attribution, the tide will rest. Cool eh?

Well, heres what i think cause it.

(1) Taking 6 modules at one time (4 modules for other people) + FYP
(2) Going for NUS band once a week that leads to a concert performance
(3) Going for westwinds practice once a week (off peak) and twice a week when concert comes near
(4) Teaching a primary school band once a week.
(5) Not building good rupport with the tutors.

Well, its just an excuse isn't it? Some people can manage business, and do lots of things, and get good results at the same time.

And, I know I don't have the reputation of being a genius, so, the things I typed for a report are usually "distorted beyond recognition" (quoted from my friend). It happened for one of my modules where I typed 600 words and got shrinked to 300. Reason given by them was.... repetition, redundant. I didn't pursue further, because I thought they are more credible because one of them is a dean listee. I don't believe my pursuance will contribute to any value. Once again, I'm not a fighter. Normally, I'll just go with what other people say. After I've said my piece, I'll be letting that person to accept it or throw it away.

Then again, everything still boils down to projects and coursework. And so many parts of the markings are subjective in the eyes of the tutor. If he likes you, he'll give high marks. I'm a teacher myself, I know how it feels giving marks (for non-exam part of assessment).

Especially the thing about essays.... many other factors kicks in. Fatigueness, boringness, rushyness of the Markers. They are doing "factory" style marking. If the person before you writes fantastically, then ITE (its the end) for you. Oh yes, essays are usually Impressionistic marking. Its impossible to set a Criterion marking for those kind of subjects. Impossible. Therefore, its subjective once again.

All these seems to show that I'm hiding my failure. Ya, I need to put the blame somewhere, and close the case after settling the feeling inside. It has been 5 days already. Its time to "pack" my feelings up. Its just like the audit process, half-yr review, pre-finals, finals. Now, I'm going to pass a self opinion to say that my results are free from material misstatement based on a Marking standard. My results are true and fair representation of my performance last sem.

Thats it.! (case close)

Tonight, going to feed myself with some photo shots in town to satisfy my artistic thirst. But before that, looking forward to a christmas meal prepared by my mum.

After today, all grudges and hatred should flow down the Singapore river (end point of my expedition from orchard).

(My dog loves me so much that she seems to be my sister)

23/12/05

Evening, meet friend, nydc, baked rice nice, pasta nice, shopping, DFS galleria, Tangs, Taka, Kino, Coffee club, Mud Pie, Irish cream, Sinful.

Christmas gift, surprise, happy. I treat desserts.

Friend, true friend. Thankz.

22/12/05

Once upon a time, there is this company that started of as a Pte company. It strived so hard, surviving all hardships and changing economic conditions. It also survived through the Sars and the Tsunami period. One day, its performance has reached such a level that it has decided to list itself on the exchange on the SESDAQ. Seeing its potential, the company has aimed to list itself on the Mainboard in 2 yrs time.

Planning its way, paving its path step by step, the company has progressed steadily through the 2 yrs. At the 1.5 years mark, the CEO reviewed its half year performance and was pleased with its performance. The company was on its way, preparing for listing on the mainboard.

However, things turned tide. At the final review before the listing process, the CEO received reports from external auditors, saying that its accounts contain large number of items with material mistatements. To his horror, the news is just part of the nightmare. The turn of tide was coupled with the change in accounting standards that was not known to him, and the black clouds that loomed the economy at that time. Things were bad, certainly.

The mistatement came to be arising from the creative and competent leaders of the company. The Ceo was also blamed for it for not establishing a steady and robust control system for its business processes. Terrible planning and reaction.

In view of such problems and performance results, the CEO has decided, painfully, to delist itself from SESDAQ, and start from scratch as an entity with another name. He has decided to adopt another strategy and direction of maintaining itself as a small to medium size status so as to be able to manage its own operations effectively. He will bring in his most trusted partners and strive to excel in its own capacity.

The company, till then on, will not overestimate its own capacity, and to maintain its direction and persue its objectives without setting an unreachable goal. To stay in the niche market and avoid the market leaders. Even though the profits are small, the company will be able to provide a higher quality service (perhaps), and the CEO will be able to have more time for other things, that are even more important than profits and performance.

Till the day, when there is a need, the CEO will revise its strategy and see if a change in the product line is necessary.

The CEO will like to thank the people who supports the company that much. No more strategic alliance and merger anymore. Its a survive or close down attitude then.

Slice of Life

STORIES - The Triple Filter Test

In ancient Greece, scholar and philosopher Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about one of your friends?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the man.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and wanted to tell it to you." "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary, it is bad."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really," replied the man, now more than a little embarrassed.

"Well," concluded Socrates, if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, and nor even useful to me, why tell it to me at all?"

The Ding Dong song (created myself)

Sing song, Sing song Pah Mahjong,
Everyone goes Xiao Ding Dong.
Sing song, Sing song play Mahjong,
Everyone do work Ba long long.

Too much work will shout Dor Long.
Too little work will seem Bue Song.
Too much numbers, blur like Sotong.
Too many documents, Clumsy like King Kong.

Sing song, Sing song Pah Mahjong,
late nights, work late really Bue Dong.
Sing song, Sing song play Mahjong,
Drink wine, drink beer, Si Beh Song.

Siao Da Bor ah, Siao Char Bo.
Jia Ba Ka Eng Ke Pa Chior
Jia Ba Boh Eng suck thumb Lor,
Le Boh money Tao Tia Sia,
Le Wu money Tao Jin Ho.

Siao Ding Dong ah, Siao Ding Dong,
Wah Si money Eh Siao Ding Dong.

Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding! Merry christmas.

(Never work for money, let money work for you. but I still wanna work for money muhaha, cuz there are so many more important things than money)

21/12/05

Muji, shopping, shiok. Lunch, expensive. Team, IC, super. Me, ok, wants tomorrow to come. nuff said.

20/12/05

....

19/12/05

My sky just crashed. The background on my blog, is no longer blue in my eyes. Crimson red it is. Liquified. Flowing down, down, dripping. DArk clouds moving past, slowly, occasionally bumping into each other, creating the loud THUMP. When I set my eyes on the computer screen as I clicked the results button, I'm petrified. I don't want to believe this. Sick, Hideous, Horrendous, perposterous. KNN, CCB, NB. Once gained is now lost. I'm losing direction. Just drop me from great heights and don't let me land. Why raised me to a great height last sem and make me fall so hard this time. I don't want.

(do I behave like a cry baby? Yeah, perhaps. And its none of anyone's business.)

Some people must be so happy now. And some people real sad. Did I set too high hopes on myself? Am I being over confident? I don't like........ being around confident people. I should have...... I could have...... I would have...... what did I learn?

And to everyone, STOP THINKING I'M CLEVER. I'm going to FISH the next person who tells me I'M CLEVER. "GO WEAR YOUR SPECS AND SEE ME CAREFULLY".

And, don't ask me what I got, I'm going to FISH that person up nicely too. "FISH OFF!" FISH FISH FISH FISH!! I hate FISH!!! they got so many BONES!!

(takes the pillow and hit myself!!) Well, I really feel like banging wall, like how the MSN emoticon do.

ya, and I really look like a fool when I was so confident and having fun with one of the paper. Ya fun, and then.... shame on me.

I will not, ever and ever, show any emotion after any paper. Never. NEVER!

A: Ya, so what did you get for exams?
Me: it sux.
A: oh really? I didn't do any tutorials and attend all the lectures leh. I'm so happy with my results
Me: cool...
A: WAhahahahahahaa
Me: (look like shit. What can I do other than sulking?)

----- so what if one attends all lectures, all tutorials, does all work? You need to curry the tutor! DAmn.

So what if I'm with the brainest chap around in town? I'm just a wannabe.

Whats plan for next sem? No point chionging. See me rot myself through the sem.

Ya, happy finding out that my results sux makes people feel better right? Steady. YES I CONFESS. ITs bad!!! Go celebrate it.! Go spread it! Let my sadness be your happiness!! The results of competition. Knife in smiles. Poke me!!!

(THis just ends all happy things in the day.)

18/12/05

Dear visitors, listen to the story of a young man. He, who seems confident on the outside, is actually dumb on the inside. And this man, is non other than me.

On the faithful day of 18/12/05, he labelled himself the ultimate pest, someone so insignificant, someone so unimportant, someone so over confident, someone so dumb.

First incident

He received a call 3 days ago on his way back from work. His friend requested for a meetup near the interchange. This friend wants to pass him something, a gift. So, "wow" he thought, thats nice of his friend. The time and day set, 1130, 18/12/05. He arrived just in time, or even ahead of time to do a little shopping for his wine cork. 1130 came... he waited near the escalator. Time ticks, and perhaps the mental bell went "ding and dong" when 1200 came. This friend.... didn't appear. He thought of calling him but.... he doesn't have the friend's number on his new phone. He waited even longer, 1230 perhaps. Thats it. He called his parents for lunch, and forget about the lunch with the friend. Its 7.45pm. No call from the friend. Steady boom beep beep lah.

Second incident

He, got so angry inside, but he didn't show. Well, perhaps he did, using much diaphram energy when speaking with his parents. Unusual accents, tenuto, or perhaps marcato. He has to be alone before he piss the people around him. He went out, alone, to suntec. He once thought he might be able to get someone out with him but... he guessed there's no point. Dragging another person into the pissed state isn't such a good idea.

He wanted to go to the bridge.... but halfway there, he decided to stay at the arcade in suntec. Watching people shooting the hell out of zombies is damn fun actually. It was exciting because the spectators were such a big group! And behind that machine, there is this machine that can let people win prizes. you have to press the button at the right timing. He saw a couple, played it perhaps 20-30 times, and still continuing. He thought, " Aren't i'm good with timing and rhythm?" So he tried..... and wasted 6 bucks on it. "Oh shit", he thought. Wasted 6 bucks on some unimportant things. There goes 2 meals. Well, 2 dumb things to scold this person.

1) Oei! Money has already spent, stop thinking back because time cannot go back.
2) Stop thinking you are so good with something lah. If its so easy to win, everyone would have won it loh.

Well, its dinner now. Eat with parents dinner. hee.

*I wish to wish for a wish to have a wish come true* (unlimited wish?)

17/12/05

Sometimes i really wonder, if there were so many people reading this blog, would they think that I'm such a negative bastard haaa. A guy with some wierd temperament and mood swings, a guy with so idealistic thinking when talking to others and so pessimistic thinking when dealing with own things. Yes, I'm just an emotionally poor bastard. No matter how happy and strong I am in reality, I'm just a sick ass as night comes near.

ok, pardon my previous paragraph. It happens when I have some alcohol content in my blood. I just don't seem to understand why I don't have those happy high feeling when I drink. Why do I always have such,... you know, be such a pain. Yeah, I know I will affect other people's mood if I'm like that. That is why, I think its better that i drink alone haaa. Well, I'll have more chance, since my mum has accepted me drinking red wine at home, muahhaa. Using the excuse of "healthy" drinking.

Today got happening haaa. I went to make myself look better by cutting my hair. I hope I don't look wierd in the new hairdo. I don't want to look like a wierdo.

Then in the afternoon, my friend came and gave me alot of gifts. So happy. New anime to watch, and lots of new songs to listen to. Can practice new songs to sing for Ktv. Its time for me to practice the falseto (donno how to spell). More David tao and Lee Hong's songs. Damn difficult to catch the tuning loh. Stupid voice box of mine. I'm thinking of enrolling into a Singing GE next sem loh. Hope they accept me. haa.

Ok, evening to night time is my friend's birthday party. Thats when I get to drink. *yawn*, now feel so sleepy. Alot of rumours going around, haaa. So fun seeing these things happening around me. But, its not in my usual self to be in the teasing party (teasing people, not the one being teased). haaa. well, I guess i'm just crazy haa. Fun perhaps?

One more advice for myself. Never show off if I can't and have nothing to show off. Keep my mouth shut haa.

16/12/05

A day with so many things to do. I just feel so wierd now. Suddenly felt a bit sad when i cannot knock off at 5.30pm. Donno why. I have to get use to it man. Sigh. Well, at least today i met one very able manager. Senior manager to be precise. Now i see what it takes to be at such a high post. The way they think, speak, and carry themselves are so different. But she good loh, gave me so much to do haaa. One of the task, is just to find pictures online to put inside her powerpoint slide for a report. OMG.

Then I learnt how to do organization chart myself loh, because she wants me to do it. Argh, so hard.

Sigh, what a sian friday night. Well, going back to my family now. Family is still the best.

ok now I'm home. Hilarious thing happened. A few days ago, me and my mum bought a bottle of red wine, trying to give my dad a surprise on christmas eve, haa. But, I can't stand to wait for the day, so I asked my mum to open it up to try. so...... no device to pull out the cork..... steady, so blur. Went to central to buy it.... and finally we got it opened and had a nice tasting session. Whats next? How to close the bottle?...... omg, i really mountain turtle lah. In the end, we forced the cork back into the bottle lah..... anyone got a better idea how to solve the problem? Got another device to close the bottle?

Slice of Life

Get Organised

Some people thrive in chaotic conditions. You know, the ones who seem to be able to retrieve the document they need from the piles and heaps on their desks. For the rest of us though, working or living in a cluttered, disorganized environment can be very stressful.

Are you overwhelmed by your office? Paralysed by paper? Is your desk a disaster area? Are you doing anything about the situation? Spring cleaning once or twice a year doesn't count.

Clutter causes a life full of stress, frustration, and chaos, not to mention precious wasted time. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal reported that the average executive loses "six weeks per year" retrieving misplaced information from messy desks and files. The cost in lost productivity and salaries is enormous. Many small businesses spend more time dealing with piles of papers than growing the business.

By taking firm action to get organized, you will experience less stress and frustration, have more time in your life, gain control over your day, experience increased job satisfaction, and be a happier person.

Very often the biggest challenge to get organized is simply finding somewhere to start. When you are totally overwhelmed by clutter, even this first step can be daunting. Here are some ideas for you to start with:

First, decide that you are going to do whatever it takes to bring more order and flow into your life. Be committed. You can start small - ease yourself into it! Organise just one thing a day, or one thing a week. For example, this week, you could organise your computer files and next week, you could sort out a small drawer. You will start to see results from clearing just one small area. Remember that it takes 21 days to get into a new habit, so make sure that you take small, but consistent actions each day.

Next, block off a specific date and time to start organising your life. This is an appointment you cannot cancel and it will at least get you started. If you are feeling particularly brave, a more drastic way to start would be to purge. Grab a large trash bag, walk through your office or home and just be totally ruthless. Throw out everything you don't use, or give it away. By doing this, you can free up a load of space very quickly!

Happy organising!

15/12/05

I'm just such a bad boy, blogging in office. I finished my stuffs at about 4, and is now waiting for knock off unless my senior suddenly has thing for me to do. The two days experience at the tax department is really special because everyone is not as stressful as the people in the audit. At least my senior is smiling when we'll chatting haa. And the manager even better. I thought she is just a normal associate. She is just so friendly and smiling all the way loh. When chatting with you, she is like a friend friend type haaa. There was this occasion where she asked me if i've finished my things, and I told her yes. She just smile smile and give me the cheeky eye look, seems to say,"then wait for go home loh" haa.

Wa, halfway through the morning, my friend suddenly called me and gave me this monstruous task. I have to draft and email to send to all my peers and the supervisors loh. Wa lao, stressed haa. I couldn't do big things lah haaa, but in the end, i managed to finish it ah. I tend to spend alot of time "designing" my email when its so important. Scary experience. oh I got new things to do, I better stop and get back to my work. Hee, most prob won't add to this posting liao.

Ok i'm back again. Just when my senior started briefing me on some of the things, the manager released my booking loh. Ok, see who is going to book me next.

Tomorrow i'm going back to office for news haaa. Damn.

Slice of Life

Conversing or Merely Talking?

There's a saying that goes "One of the most boring things in the world is ME deep in conversation". Nobody likes a conversation-hogger, not even if the self-styled "monologue artist" is an interesting and knowledgeable person. No matter how engaging he or she may be at first, the smiles and nods quickly turn into blank faces and efforts to keep from yawning.

People like to share, yes, especially when it comes to their own experiences and interests. But people also like people who allow them to share. And who listen to them. The next time you enter into discourse with someone or a group of people, check yourself to see if you often feel the need to cut into a person's speech with your views on the topic.

Do you tend to go on prattling without allowing the other person to contribute his or her fair share?

Do you engage in conversation or do you simply talk?

You may have a lot of information. You may even be an expert on the subject. But unless you're a lecturer or a speaker at a seminar, YOU droning on about YOURSELF simply doesn't make meaningful conversation. The dynamic is lost. You might as well be talking to a mirror. It can be hard sometimes, I know, when you're just bursting with information. And it can be difficult to admit that you sometimes don't have an answer. But the danger in simply talking is that you may engage the mouth before putting the brain in gear.

I've said lots of dumb things because I didn't think before I spoke. Unfortunately, this may not only involve statements that are dumb, but sometimes statements that are also harmful. And, yet, though the right thing to do in such cases is to apologize, such does not change the fact we said it. This being the case, we'll never regret being slow to speak. Nor will we regret those occasions when we had nothing to say and just kept quiet.

There are folks who bring to mind the story of the man who was suing for divorce. The judge asked why.

"Because she talks too much," was the reply.

"What does she talk about?" the judge asked.

"That's just it," the husband answered.

"She never says." Silence truly can be golden. It's also a good idea to be silent when one doesn't have a proper answer. Or, better yet, a person might just say, "I don't know." No one has all the answers. So try to converse more, rather than just talking. As someone once put it, "Merely talking is about as far from communicating as merely not talking is from actually listening".

14/12/05

I'm confused now. Am I in Audit, BCM, or Tax? Today I'm drafted up to the 20th floor for some GST work. Piles of papers for me to flip through. I was supposed to gather some information from them. Can't believe that some companies can "escape" GST by using some wierd means haa. Anyway, the usual tax diagram appeared again when the senior was explaining to me the story behind the whole situation. One line in the middle, the top represent country A, the bottom represent country B, then a few entities here and there and export and import takes place. Who, what, when, how, and where became so important for tax.

I'm just feeling a bit swingy in my mood. Doesn't feel very cool now. Just found out that so many of the strong people are joining PwC. I always like to think that I 宁为鸡首，不为牛后. Now I'm at the cow side. Just don't feel comfortable. Just do my job well, and forget about the competitive feeling? I'll try.

Anyway, after meeting so many new people in the company, i suddenly found alot of people that has common traits. It seems like some part of their genes are the same. My new tax collegue seems to speak and behave the same as one of my euphonium senior in moulmein cc band. One of my audit collegue from my previous assignment behaves and talk like one of my friend in moulmein band too. Hmm, genes is such a profound thing.

Coming back to the tax thing, I finished flipping through half of the original pile of papers. Tomorrow, I must finish the pile, must. lets see if i can bring those things back to 15 floor haaa. quite bored at 20 floor, although my new collegue treats me well.

*If you're happy and you know it, slap your friends*
*If you're happy and you know it, drop your cake*
*If you're happy and you know it, step your feet*

Slice of Life

STORIES - Birth and Death

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived.

Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy: "Isn't it great that we were conceived? Isn't it great to be alive? "

Together the twins explored their worlds. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy! "How great our mother's love is, that she shares her own life with us!"

As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing.

"What does it mean?" one asked.

"It means our stay in this world is drawing to an end." said the other.

"But I don't want to go," said one.

"I want to stay here always."

"We have no choice," said the other.

"But maybe there is life after birth."

"But how can there be?" responded one. "We will shed our life cord and how can life be possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us, and none of them has returned to tell us there is life after birth. No, this is the end. Maybe there is no mother after all."

"But there has to be," protested the other. "How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother?" said one.

"Maybe she only lives in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."

So the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear.

Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy - for what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

13/12/05

My last day at the current job. So sad to leave my team IC again. Today is alot of laughing here and there during the job. Its really nice to have crappy people inside the team haa. Team members are very very very important.

Tomorrow, I'm booked by another manager. I wonder who.... My current team IC wanted to book me again but well, first come first serve haa. How I wish I can stay in office, to see my friends.

Somehow, I think I must be thinking too much again. The rain was cold, but it made me woke up again. I shouldn't be too positive. Shouldn't. A cold feeling.... *brrrrrr* I need a sweater. *ahhhh chooo!!*

How come got rain on me? Because, I alighted from the cab at the wrong place this morning when I was going to my client's place. I gave myself an excuse. "I need a little morning walk" In the end, I still managed to find the place. *phew*

The more I think, the more insignificant I am. I'm a "kampong kid"!, what to do?

Slice of Life

Success With Integrity
The world is filled with people who make lots of money in questionable ways - drug dealers, con artists, dishonest business men, corrupt politicians, and so on. If you measure success simply by how much money you make, then you must realize that people who accumulate riches in a dishonest manner lack something that is the true mark of success - character and integrity.

No amount of wealth can compensate for a lack of character. Character equals integrity and integrity means you always do what is right - even when no one is watching you. It means that fear and guilt have no power over you because you have nothing to hide.

Think about it. Have you ever been tempted to shortcut your way to the top of the corporate ladder? Reaching this goal is a wonderful achievement, but take a look around you. Are the hallways in your office building stacked high with the bodies of people you stepped on in order to get there? If so, be prepared to get stepped on in return.

Do you routinely treat people with honesty and respect? Or do you have a short temper when it comes to dealing with people who refuse to bow down to your wishes? The person with character and integrity will never have to worry about this because they know that no one achieves success single-handedly. Whether it's success in the business world or sports or family life, someone was probably there to offer a helping hand somewhere along the way. The person with character and integrity will know and appreciate this and offer the same helping hand when the opportunity arises.

Celebrated portrait photographer, Yousuf Karsh, was famous for shooting celebrities and world leaders, and he said, "I have found that great people do have in common an immense belief in themselves and their mission. They also have great determination as well as an ability to work hard. At the crucial moment of decision, they draw upon their accumulated wisdom. Above all, they have integrity."

It is important that you take a good look at your attitude regarding what success means to you. Albert Einstein said, "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

Character is what you are. Success is what you achieve. What you achieve can be large or small, but success without character and integrity is merely a shadow. Your character is the key to success and it is the attribute you will pass on to your children. So let your strength of character shine through in all you do and say and you will truly be able to achieve meaningful success in life.

12/12/05

I cannot stress how good my seniors are. They are just simply fantastic. I was attached to the previous manager for another job today. He only booked me for 2 days only because my new manager isn't ready to receive me bah. Well, this previous manager really ask me to go home loh. He doesn't let VTs stay until late late. He also asked me to take a cab back even though I'm the only one in the cab loh. Wa seh. Can claim somemore. He also ask me to take cab there tomorrow morning. Wa biang, super touched.

Another senior was also very very cheerful loh, always lighten up the atmosphere one loh. And she taught me how to roll over the lead schedule loh. Another patient and fun senior. I'm fortunate lah. And I cannot express how delighted that I'm booked for a job. Wa lao, nothing to do is a torture to me. It happened this morning. I have to .... stare at the comp screen without knowing what to do. I took out my earphone, then plug into my comp and listen to music loh. I think I'm gonna learn many many new songs if i'm going to be an auditor (I am!!) because I will have so much time listening to music while working.

Come to think of it, this is the kind of senior who i will fight side by side with sia. Wait till I am permanently employed, 12am go home also nevermind!! Muhahaa. OT mah.... muahhaa.

And also, the cabbie I met was so friendly sia. When I entered the cab, he called me sir.... (I'm not worthy). Then so polite, then keep on talking in a very pleasant tone. At the end of it, I thought I would have a chance to tip him. In the end, he "tipped" me. The fare was $15.30. I paid 20 bucks. The change was 5 bucks. I thought something was wrong but i didn't react cuz my leg pulled my body out faster than what my mind can think. Wa biang, like that I'm earning money just by taking cab loh.... ridiculous.

I think I've been meeting alot of great people lately. Sometimes got the happy happy feeling inside loh. Omg. I hope this is not just a dream. If it is, then i wish i'll never wake up.

But then, when someone asked me about my results sia (my another guy senior), i just doesn't feel good talking about it. I know some people will ask me to feel proud because my results are not bad, but I've spent almost my life trying to strive for the best and i couldn't reach it. Some other people could just touch it so easily. Sigh. Whats up sia.

Slice of Life

Dealing With Aggression

One of the most difficult things to deal with in this life is a sense of injustice. We may strive to walk a kinder, more gentle and compassionate path; we accept, forgive, smile and send blessings unselfishly. Yet there are people who seem bent on directing their wrath and hatred towards us.
When negative or aggressive people confront us, why are we unnerved? It's because we're human after all, and we have feelings, and yes, egos. When we're upset by an aggressor, it's our ego reacting to the attack. We only feel wronged because we ourselves feel that we have been doing right. And because we feel we've done no wrong, we feel that any provocation is undeserved. In a sense, it's a subtle form of self-righteousness that ultimately defeats us.

So how do we gently thwart an abusive aggressor and still hold true to our beliefs and spirituality? It is a hard road, but here are some tips which might be useful.

Let spirit guide you. Always trust your higher self to guide you to the correct course of action. Listen to your inner voice and discern what your emotions are telling you. Remember, the ego will always defend by attacking or withdrawing, so we must know and curb our ego and settle into our spiritual higher selves. When we think and act out of love, we will always pick the correct actions.

You could also try to see and agree with their point. We sometimes can understand the motives behind people's actions if we give thought to their situation. Remember there is no right or wrong, there is only different points of view and opinion. So seek to see the other side of the disagreement. Let them speak, and be truly interested in what they say. For all its bombast and swagger, the ego is really a simple thing. Give it your undivided attention, and it is happy. Sometimes people just want to be heard and noticed.

Keep your cool. If you do not accept the aggressor's gift of anger, it remains the aggressor's own. Most abusive people are looking for a reaction; a provocation cannot earnestly exist unless something is provoked. So do not give fuel to the fire. If you choose not to armour up, then the potential confrontation is merely one person venting.

Know that the anger and negativity within your attacker is only a reflection of what is inside of them, and not inside you. You are not the negative things this person says about you. The things people say may hurt our feelings, but we can choose our actions to these negative situations and let them go.

So the next time you are confronted with aggression and anger, take the high road - let your spirit and inner strength rule the situation.

11/12/05

I haven't chat so much for a long time liao. Eiyo, did I talk too much? haaa. A guy's words spoken is on average 5000 words a day. A girl's...... I better not say haaa. Well, since its natural, then its nothing bad about talking alot. :)

Today's activities! Ktv in the morning!! At marina!! The lunch, once again, is formidable (wrong spelling again, i know). A piece of fried salmon, 2 sushi, japanese rice, a piece of cheese cake, 2 slices of watermelon, 2 pieces of tofu, and one piece of lemon for the fish. Where can you find so good things for just $11 (net, inclusive of all +++). On top of the food, sensation of blasting their speakers, and singing the top of our voices, and fighting(using singing voices) with those ah lians and bengs opposite our rooms really does make the money worth alot. Luckily I warmed up my voice with 张学友's songs, or else i'm gonna have my voice box upside down again. eeks, pain.

(mosquito biting me while i'm typing this.... again) *itch itch itch* Going to show it my 独孤九剑 skills using my electrocutor tennis racket if i see it.

After ktv, I meet another friend for a concert performance. A person who seems to be a photocopy of my thoughts. So many similarities. Sometimes, and many-a-times, the words that came out of my friend were so familiar that those words often came out of my mouth when I talk to another person (complicated sentence structure. Don't try to understand if cannot. I know its broken lah). And..... I didn't thought that somethings could came out of my mouth.... those things that.....hmm. Well, I didn't say it out actually, my friend guessed it. So clever. My pains actually. (was it a mistake that one more person in this world knows it now?)

I think I shouldn't write more about my friend because I think its a privacy thing for my friend. And I respect my friend. :) I hope you had a great time as well as I did.

Work time tomorrow!! another week of new work. time to fight my way through again. And thinking of exam results..... I'm a bit scared now. I got a bad feeling now. Shouldn't set too high expectations now.... cuz now that I know that so many people around me are all super people. Scary....

10/12/05

I could still remember the tragedy yesterday. 好狼狈哦！And the sleeping experience yesterday was super! Lie on bed and blackout. No feeling of being alive. Its a unusual kind of feeling of sleeping, one that I don't experience normally. And I was awake at 5 am, realizing that i was suppose to check my hp. I quickly took it up and saw, phew.

Other than the expected msgs, there is another.... who I didn't thought would send me a msg. Well, I was worried for you too actually. You gotta protect yourself you know. I was not the only one worried actually. So please take care of yourself. I guess that big bro(someone) would have been worrying for ya too.

After that 5am, I started to dream while sleeping. Can't remember what were the dreams but I woke up at 9am. I'm surprise.... no headaches. Cool. But tummy wierd wierd haa. A big health sacrifice just for this experiment, a personal experiment.

Actually, I drank so much not because I am facing any big emotional problems or what.... perhaps its just the small part of the reason. The main part is for me to test out my limit and to test how true it is when one does stupid things and he/she attributed it to being drunk. Thus, 2 hypothesis. 1) There is no limit to how much i can drink before blacking out, 2) Drinking alot will not make you lose your mind.

Results of the tests

1) I can drink as much as I wan and won't blackout. Addition findings is that, one should not drink too quickly because your tummy will not be able to take it and you'll start throwing up after a while (drink slowly = you'll be ok). The process of the test will be elaborated in the next few paragraphs.

2) No matter how much I drink, I will still be able to remain a clear mind and speak in a coherent manner. But that excludes the possibility that I'll sing, which I did during the journey back. I was surprised that I could sing in tune at a close to 90% probability. I can't remember what I sang though, was an impromtu one. Nice? haa, I couldn't end the song with a proper cadence haaa, cuz I kept going on and on and on with the melody. Ops.

Process of tests

Whats up man, haaa I started with 2 shots of ???? (taste like volka, or perhaps tequila?). Eiyo, quite diluted haaa. Most prob the bartenders doesn't wan us to faint after the shots. The shots in Kbox are much stronger haa. Then it was 2 cups of coke volka, and 2 more cups, 1 pint of beer (god knows what beer is that, eeks hate it). When it was nearing going back, I was the only one at the table.... guess what. There were so many left over drinks... haa i think my friends would find it wierd that their drinks were gone after they came back. I got them all into my stomach. Well, there were a cup of wierd tasting one (I never drink that before), another pint of beer, somemore volka coke. I think thats how I messed up myself nicely. Was that my limit? I don't know.

I guess the last set of drinks were the culprit that upset my tummy. And.... I'm still upset that I dirtied my friend's car. Damn. And worst still, its my first time seeing that friend loh. It will be as comical as the following dialogues.

Me: はじめまして、よるしく。　ぼくの名前わ　WeiQiangです。 (First time seeing ya, 多多指教。my name is weiqiang)
Me: すみません。車、かわいですね。　でも。。　(my apologies. The car is really cute. But....)

Somehow or rather, I was causing a great danger to the cars that were behind us (expressway.... so...). I think I should describe the scene anymore, cuz its quite groossss. Luckily nothing bad happened, or else I'll really be a great sinner. Well, help me say sorry to the car as well. Cute cars should receive such treatment.

My activities today... games loh. about 6 hrs of games, going into a world of heros and evil doers. Then I went jogging also. Just in case my belly come out after the drink.

Tomorrow is a day of.... alot of chatting! Somehow I just wonder, did I make friends with angels? Maybe I should sing my friend, Junyang's song, Guardian Angels. Haa.

Slice of Life

Making Changes Happen

Everywhere you go, you hear people talk about the changes they want to make in their lives.

"I want to lose weight."

"I want a better job."

"I want to make more money."

"I want to make a film."

"I want to write a book".

Maybe for you, it's to travel round the world, to get higher education, or improving a current relationship. We all have goals and changes we want to make and we talk a lot about wanting them, but how many of us really do something?

Sometimes, the talking turns into complaining. Because we accumulate so many wants, but never go about resolving them, we begin to feel dissatisfied. We start to make up excuses why success is not possible. Is it time? Is it money? It's family then, isn't it? We begin to blame other people, we blame events, we blame bad luck, and sometimes we blame ourselves. At the end of the day, this builds up into a massive store of regret.

Besides, these reasons are mostly inventions of fear and laziness. If you look at your excuses critically, how many of them are genuine? People who feel stuck are always saying "I can't afford an hour's workout a day!", or "I'm too forgetful!", or "I'm not a business person!". Basically, this is an admission of one's lack of control over one's life.

If someone gave you a million dollars to run on the treadmill for 20 minutes a day, could you do it? How great is your desire to have a better physique? How much is that worth? Very often, it's not because we can't, it's because we haven't found the motivation.

With the right motivation (and it doesn't have to be money), you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behaviour. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the reasons why you can't make changes happen. Nothing defines you except you yourself. Do you really need that extra cup of coffee? Or that extra mug of beer? What about your quota of three cigarettes a day? Or that new mobile phone? What's really stopping you from being more loving to your partner? Is the romance really fading? Or are you giving more priority to other areas?

Take back your own power and decide to get into action to achieve the results you want.

9/12/05

Eiyo, morning rain loh, luckily i was already near office area when the rain started. So cold cold. Ah, wasted time from 8.30am to 11.30am again. But surprise came when another manager emailed me, "You are booked for this this this and that, help me do this this and that that." Woo, I was super happy, chiong down immediately. Wa lao, macham like sell backside loh. Booked.....

So, the whole afternoon = chiong those tasks. 2 main things, one delete delete delete, the other type type type. Wa seh, have to prepare financial statements for a dormant company..... sleep lah, audit for what.... faint. So how? Income statement 1 item only, balance sheet, 2 items on both sides. Then how? Notes to accounts, I looked through 140 pages of sample and deleted so many notes until left 18 pages. Wa biang, can do management by exception or not. That means, do the other way round. Take what you need, not delete what you don't need.

Anyway, that manager looks and sounds so friendly loh. Then hor, she expected me to do amendments on the hardcopy loh, but i did on the soft copy. I think I did over her expectations haa, well, a newbie here, what can you expect. Prepare the whole financial statements like during AA201 class? Preparing financial statements was my favourite, but now,.... so complicated.

One paiseh thing happened again. During lunch time, I went to China square and wanted to go to the level below. So I walked to the escalator, and just before stepping onto it, i realised its a going up one. Phew, luckily i didn't step on it loh. I think people around me will think that I'm blur ha. Yes I'm one. I'm letting too much of my subconcious to take over my body. oh no. stupid thing happens.

OK, at night is chiong time... I donno if i will be able to come up to type more haaa so, i better type now. steady! CHIONG!

ok now, i'm back to type more. Even though i'm quite drunk now, i still know what i'm typing loh. Anyway, thanks to the 2 sisters who treated me so well, and brought me home. I feel so paiseh that i dirty the car so much. Sorry about that. Even though i feel so blur now, i still wanaa blog because this is a memory. It has been so long when someone treated me so well. I really wanna thank her and her sister. Today is a test of my limits, and my hypothesis is correct. No matter how drunk you are, you will still be able to act according to your will.

Lastly, i'll still like to thank them. Thank you so much, and your sis. Without you both, i might die one the streets now. haa. Thankz. I'll still be waiting for the sms even though i cannot dahan. I'll be waiting. (Ops, I didn't manage to stay awake.... paiseh)

Slice of Life

Tending to Your Partner's Emotional Needs

Marriages are made in heaven they say, but eventually, every marriage has to come down to earth. The honeymoon "orbits" gradually decrease in passion and intensity, due to other priorities that demand our attention. More so, when the bundle of joy arrives!

Loving glances are gradually replaced by frowns, the stars in your eyes do not shine so brightly anymore, and your attempts at intimate conversation are punctuated by wails from the little intruder. You discover, as almost every married couple before you have discovered, that the feeling called "romantic love" has to be nurtured by a continuous process of meeting each other's emotional needs.

What is an emotional need? It is a deep desire within you that, when satisfied, gives you a feeling of extreme happiness and contentment. If this desire is unsatisfied, it leaves you with a feeling of unhappiness and frustration. This means that when a husband and wife meet each other's most important emotional needs, they will experience passionate love, and stay in love as long as these emotional needs are met.

But, each of us has different emotional needs, and even if both spouses have the same emotional needs, their priorities for each emotional need may be different. For instance, let's say that "love and romance" for one partner means "sex and recreation"; for the other, it's "affection and intimate conversation". Now, if such a pair would spend a recreational evening together, show intense affection, with deep, intimate conversation, it would naturally lead to sexual fulfillment. The result? Passionate love, since the most important emotional needs of both are fully met!
You, and your spouse, fell in love with each other because you both met some of each other's most important emotional needs, and the only way to stay in love, long after the honeymoon is over, is to keep meeting these emotional needs.

So, the first step for you, and your spouse, is to identify what your most important emotional needs are - those that will make you the happiest and most contented. What you would like your spouse to do or not do, that would give you the greatest happiness?

Once you've both identified your most important emotional needs, the rest is making sure that these needs are regularly and adequately met.



STORIES - This is Good!

There once was a king who favoured one of his advisors very much because he was very wise and always gave useful advice. The king took him along wherever he went.

One day, the king was bitten on the finger by a dog, and the wound quickly got infected. He asked the advisor if it was a bad sign. The advisor said, "This is good!"

The king's finger subsequently got so badly infected that it had to be amputated. The king asked the advisor again if this was a bad sign. Again, he said "This is good!" By this time, the king had lost his patience and sent the advisor to prison.

One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. In pursuit of a deer, he ventured deeper and deeper into the jungle, where he got lost. To make matters worse, he was captured by the natives who lived inside the jungle. They were about to sacrifice him to their god, but when they noticed that the king was one finger short, they released him immediately. Apparently, he was no longer a "whole" person and was deemed unsuitable for sacrifice.

The king finally understood his advisor's wise response "This is good!". If he hadn't been bitten by the dog, he wouldn't have lost his finger, and if he hadn't lost his finger, he would have been sacrificed by the natives.

He ordered the release of the advisor and apologized to him. But to the king's amazement, the advisor was not upset at all. Instead, he said, "It was a good thing you had me locked up."
"And why is that?" asked the monarch.

And the advisor replied, "Because if you hadn't locked me up, I would have followed you into the jungle. And since you were unsuitable for sacrifice, the natives would have offered me up instead!"

Nothing that happens in this world can be judged as absolutely good or bad. Taken in the right spirit, everything that happens can eventually lead to a positive thing. So when something unfortunate happens to you, don't despair? it might turn out to be a blessing after all.

8/12/05

Today isn't so bad, at least my manager got me somethings to do during the morning and afternoon. Well, I finish those tasks in good time and had some time to relac loh. I finally took out my mp3 player and listen to songs and pieces when doing my stuffs loh. Its really alot better, even though the tasks might be so routine. I can enjoy the music too because the office is rather quiet. On top of that, those music will not hurt my ears. Steady!! Going to do that for the rest of my days here. This will also give others a signal to bother-me-not. Muhaha. But them, sitting around a group of managers is not a fun experience loh.

Ah, someone finally came back in the afternoon loh, then finally someone to talk loh. I almost have spider webs on me liao leh, 4 days here sitting and was so dead. So, zombie loh. No one bothers bah, because all so busy haa. Come to think of it, the insurance balance sheet isn't an easy thing to learn haaa, all the terms are all different. faint loh. Luckily i went to read the FRS104 and got some definitions for some of the words. Or else, I'll be ??????? when my manager talk to me.

My manager is good to me loh. When I told him that i'll be helping my friend for some research work, he left me alone totally. Omg. Where can you find such a good manager? sigh. One day i say he good, one day i say he bad, i also donno lah haa.

Now still office loh, later going for band prac. I can't believe it loh, going for band in office wear. Wa lao, macham like the band is my job like that loh. Eiyo, my singlish very powderful in this paragraph hor... I think i going crazy. I better packup now or else i'll be late. haa

Ok, now i'm back to add more stuffs. One major thing that happened today is that.... it happened in the toilet. After doing all business, I washed my hands, saw this silver bottle at the sink there, thought it was mine, took it out, walked away and near a turning, I heard someone called, "hey".... "I think you are holding on to my...."

I immediately woke up.... and saw that.... wa lao bottle is not mine. I apologized like hell loh. I think he might have thought that i'm stealing loh. Faint. Oh no, what can i do? what if things start to spread around...."you know this VT ah ....... tsk tsk tsk". The next moment, they might accuse me of having no integrity and "YOU'RE FIRED". Thats the end of the world. Well, end of the big thing today.

I remember i ate some brownies in the morning.... bought it yesterday.... didn't taste as good. I still remember the taste of the brownies someone made for me. Well, 1000 times better? Hmm who is going to make some brownies for me again? MYSELF!! haaa.

7/12/05

Whats interesting for work today? Zero. The manager did assign me some tasks but he just give me a feeling of, "there you go, here are your task, stop bothering me". And.... I couldn't find him after I finish what I've done. Its always like that. Then I have to sit there, and stare at the screen. Then I keep on walking to and fro the place just to see whether he has came back or not. I even emailed him to ask him to email me when he is back. But... he didn't. I have to go and look for him at his place loh. And he is chatting on phone. So I stood there, waiting. Either that, or he is talking to another collegue. I just feel.... so unwanted.

The whole day, I was just asked to transfer things from excel format to word document format, then do castings, check referencing. Ok, the task was ok for me, just that.... he doesn't seem to know what he want me to do after I finish those things. I don't sense any urgency in his action. And everytime, he just sighs, and groan when problems come out. "omg?"

Whats up with managers? Maybe not all are like that..... I hope. He doesn't push me for things, he doesn't give me a deadline for the tasks. Always saying, take your time. So I did..... and took exceptionally long for those tasks.

But then, I did well in hiding too. I went to the 15th floor and parked there. I am not supposed to be there loh, but then a friend kindly offered me a seat there, hee how can i reject? And also, the lady behind my seat protects me too!! When an unknown manager was looking for a VT to do something, the lady protected me by saying that I'm not in their group haaa. Cool hiding technique.

Oh ya, my latest craze. Wang Li Hong's Forever love. I listened to about 20 times today haaa. Nice song.

I'm really feeling so unwanted..... anywhere, everywhere. I just seem to be a pest to everyone lah. I wan work, i wan work!! as long as i don't sit there do nothing can liao.!! Make coffee? photocopy? come come, i wan. TORTURE ME!!

Ok night time!! went shopping with mum. Biangs haaa, bought a bottle of red wine!! Merlot, in preparation of christmas meal. Steady hee, a red wine a day, keeps the health awake!! Bought 3 wine glass. Enough for us. Hmm does my dog need one? Eeks haa drunkard dog, i can't imagine. Well, at least a happy night.

6/12/05

The morning seems to be full of unexpected things because I was asked to help a senior in her stuffs. We have to complete some castings and referencing within a time limit and that really put us on our toes. Well, the senior just came in for 1 month plus as well. All newbies?? But her calculator skills were definitely superb. And its really amazing that she could solve the problem in such a short time.

Then, I have to search for a miserable 118k dollars in the documents loh. Spent like 3 hours looking through the thick stack of papers with so many numbers on it. What I found is…… nothing. So, useless ha. But the number is really not there. I mean the explanations. Hmm now I know the difficulty of coming with those FS. So much difficulty.

In the afternoon, my manager left me totally alone. With nothing to do, and nothing to aim for, I went to read the audit processes and methodologies from the database. I think I’m quite crazy. Its soooooo long.

Its really bored with nothing to do. Help!!

One thing i've forgotten to mention. The bus ride every morning now will always end with a super scenery. Bus 57 goes pass esplanade, onto the bridge, where I can see on my left, the golden rising sun, casting its rays on the river. It just let me feel happy before going to work.

Slice of life

Stuck in the Middle

The task of a first-level supervisor is one of the most difficult in the world. As middle management, you're stuck between your former co-workers and the higher-level managers. You're in the awkward position of having to get your friends to follow orders. Your former peers begin to view you with suspicion and your bosses expect you to carry out managerial directives, no questions asked.

In order to get unstuck, you must first understand that while your friendship, and maybe even loyalties might be with your friends and ex-co-workers, you are now part of management. Your primary responsibility is to ensure that whatever policies or orders trickling down your way, get implemented to the best of your team's abilities. In a sense, it's a mindset change. You must come to think of yourself differently. After all, expectations of you have changed. It isn't enough to simply know how everything works anymore. Now you have to deal with sometimes conflicting interests. So how do you manage the middle ground once you recognize that's where you are?

Communication is key. Understand the principle of getting what you want done by getting people to want the same thing. To do this, you have to first make people feel important. Everybody likes to be valued, and if you can convince people that you think they're important, they'll be more responsive towards you.

The skills involved here are to listen skilfully, compliment frequently, call people by name, pause before answering, use "you" and "your" more than "I" and "me" and attend to every individual in a group.

Agree with people. Subordinates generally expect opposition from their supervisors and when you align yourself with their suggestions, they are remarkably impressed. However, this does not mean blindly accepting everything being offered to you. You can be agreeable without fully complying. As author Les Giblin once said, "As long as you live, never forget that any fool can disagree with people and that it takes a wise man, a shrewd man, a big man to agree - particularly when the other person is wrong."

These skills involve focusing on being in an agreeable frame of mind. Be open in your agreement; when you agree with someone tell them. Unless absolutely necessary, do not publicly disagree with someone. Avoid arguments. By the same reasoning, when you are wrong, verbalize your mistake - own it.

By practicing and becoming skilful in these steps, you will feel less like you're stuck in the middle, and more like you're at the centre of a cohesive and dynamic team.

5/12/05

Work work work. Stayed in office the whole day. So whats up with work? The whole day, sit at the desk, flipping through a financial statement, comparing it with the past year financial statement, and make sure the numbers are correct. Difficulty? This yr, they are using $'000, so have to detect the rounding errors. Second, must make sure all casting are correct. Difficulty? Items that has many line items will tend to have funny numbers because after all the rounding differences are added, numbers go haywire, and cannot tie to the other sections of the financial statements.

The manager didn't teach me the technique how to do it, so i have to design my own method. Think thats easy? Think again. Which numbers have the main criteria? Which numbers should have the priority? So my method: 1)ensure the numbers in the notes to accounts are rounded correctly, and casting are correct. 2) ensure numbers in the Income statements are correct. If numbers are gathered from the notes to accounts, then make sure they tie. 3) consolidated statements of changes in equity must be correct, after taking the updated net profit. 4) Ensure cash flow statement numbers tie with all notes. 5) Lastly, all updated numbers must go into the balance sheet. Outcome....... Balance sheet cannot balance. Eiyo, which numbers should I twig???? I asked my friend:" Is 1k material to this company?" She said:" no"

Anyway, i left the unbalanced accounts to the manager (its $2k apart). He seems a bit unhappy with the person who requested him to do it. haaa, he said, leave it to that person to solve it. Hmm, so my task ended so late loh. Most of the people left the office already loh, and the aircon stopped its operation too. Machines can stop operation, how abt humans? Eiyo, how come this kind of thing do for so many hours? Not that difficult what. Is this discovery learning? More time spent on thinking and speculating on method to use. Anyone has better method?

Hey i've discovered that I can reach the office by bus!! straight bus from my "doorstep". And its just 35mins ride. I can finally study my jap liao!! yeah. MRT doesn't allow me to read loh. haa. I love the bus. (If I miss the bus.... will another bus come? Should I hop onto the bus?)

Hey Hey, I didn't know I could find someone who know me so well haa. Seems like can chat one woh. Work isn't boring anymore? haa. Yeah.

Oh i forgotten to mention, I finally finish watching 大长今. Come to think of it, its a really nice show. With a good ending. After the whole show, I was like sitting there and trying to recall what those people have gone through. Its always the ending that would leave the ever lasting taste. I just love this kind of show, although I thought the beginning was a little boring to me. More korean dramas are up in the market, but then i just don't seem to have the desire to buy more. Sigh. Wait till I have the need to feel human then i'll get bah.

4/12/05

Had a nice chat with a friend during lunch today. But I've come to learn some more new things from her. Her friends and her experience has led to her conclusion that all guys are bastards. Well, at least those who came into their life. And while listening to her, I was like.... wa lao, this kind of guy also alive sia. Well, the details are just too gruesome (cannot spell again) *i'm being exagerating*, so i'll leave them out.

Well, combining her views with mine, I've come up with a new conclusion. There are good and bads out there regardless of gender. Or perhaps, it is hard to determine whats good and whats bad because alot depends on compatibility. One bad + one good may be a good pair..... that is if it last.

Another thing is that, the fact that those kind of bad ones are present in the "market", this creates a sense of insecurity. The presence of "lemons" are due to high information asynmetry. Insecurity or even bad experiences will lead to the creation of more lemons. It will be a cycle, never ending. I guess this also explains the situation that more people are preferring to stay alone up to the point where they get worried and then anyhow choose. How can this kind of problem be solved? Are there any regulations like those in the Financial market to keep this kind of matters checked?

All those above are rubbish, please pardon me. To make things easy, I think its good to think that everything is up to fate. Yeah, then there will be no fools around, like me.

I still didn't manage to eat chocolate ice cream today. ahhhhh haaa. One side say "eat", the other side say "fat". Whats up sia.

Other activities of the day includes band prac and jogging. Aiming to reduce my fats more.

Looking for more material satisfaction.... if I can.

3/12/05

I didn't know that Andy Lau and Chen Qi Zhen's new songs have the same effect as Jay's songs on me. Well, just when I thought I could have a different feeling listening to other singers, the sky just didn't turn bright. Eiya, I just live with it for the next few weeks, I believe things will turn out brighter.

Today's activities were quite good. First, my great friend came and gave me a breakfast treat. Had a great chat as well. Really paiseh when people give me treat ah, and he really spend too much on me (no other meanings haaaa). Great buddy.

Then I went to Marina for K Lunch in Kbox. Tell you guys what. Its the best lunch ever! I mean in kbox. So many things. 2 pieces of fried fish, fries, soba, salad, cheese cake, fruits. Damn worth it. Well, net costs per head, 11 bucks. Best. I can't sing well for god's sake. Master of non, Jerks of all trades. Thats me.

After the Kbox, my friend bought a gift for his brother, cufflings... *is that how you spell it?*. 50 over bucks. Cool and nice. Not for me. I'm not worthy for classy stuffs. Some people told me to get all those beautiful beautiful things and put on myself so that I can show people i'm a confident, classy person. But then, I'm still a low employee, I wouldn't want to flash all those things in front of my superiors. If I'm low, I'll have to look low.

Then I took a bus to Bishan to collect my pants. I need an oversized one so that I can breathe properly during concert performance. So, that pants is 1 inch extra. haaa. Also, in case i get fat again, I still have something to wear. Talking about fat. haa, I've been jogging every 2 days to prevent myself from getting fat. Its a good way, cuz i can feel myself shrinking.

It has been a long time since I took a long bus ride. The pace of the world has became so fast that people don't realise that it is important to do nothing. Its time for people to rest their feet, mind and body for while from time to time. And for me, I really need a rest. I could feel myself breaking up during the ride, so I took a nap. A well deserved nap.... but mind still going round and round. Sigh. Whats up with me? Damn.

At night, Band prac loh. They are going to Japan, not me. Wish them fun. I've turned a little violent with my sound. Perhaps my diaphram and lungs are working too well after all those jogging. Power comes in and control went out. Bad.

Look forward to tomorrow.

2/12/05

I didn't feel good. Not at all today. Spent half a day doing stupid things that are not necessary for the work. Ask so many people about things, in the end, not very useful. My leader told me to follow up on this, but he didn't say exactly what I should do. So, i thought.... maybe i'll do this and this to make sure the documents value tie here and there, then I can update the excel files and say that there is no exceptions on this sample. But then.... after finding so much information from the people there through their accounting systems, I felt something was wrong, my gut feeling..... then I called the one who was in charge of this section and asked her. So..... I had to see the hard copies of those things..... what a wasted effort.... alot of trouble. Lesson learnt.... never do something unless you are clear about it and knows that it will contribute to the outcome.

Work ends at late 6+ and have to pack everything from the client's place to the office. Guess what..... 2 people, bringing tonnes of work papers and files back. Worst still, 1 guy and 1 girl. I carry all the files, and the girl carry my laptop. I kinda feel so sucky actually. Where is the teamwork here? 2 makes a team? ok, perhaps. I accept that explaination.

Then whats up next? I don't know if my sim card on my phone is really so lousy. Perhaps my msgs aren't sent across to the intended party. I kinda gotten sick about this liao, even though i've kinda gotten used to it. Yes, gotten used to it. I should just sleep and don't think so much.

I just kinda feel so sucky today that I want to just complain my way through. Ah.... guys shouldn't complain so much right? Guys who complain are seem as wimps right? what the hell. I suddenly feel darkness again..... must be the Jay's songs. Why do I feel so much? Why can't I be a tough and heartless person. Bully everyone in my way.

I bet theres so many people enjoying themselves now. I'm just gonna look forward to sleep and see who is going to accompany me during my sleep. Its a place of no pain, no sorrow, no reality. Only happiness, celebration, peace, dreams. Going for a walk in my dreams.....

Slice of life

Bonding With Your Partner

In any given moment in our relationship with our partner, we are in one of two possible intents - the intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain, and the intent to learn about being loving to ourselves and to others.

Virtually all of us have learned many ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We learned these defensive behaviours when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these learned controlling behaviors. For example, we may use anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. For most people, these protective, controlling behaviors have become automatic and habitual. As soon as any fear is triggered, we automatically protect against the fear by arguing, blaming, attacking, judging, shutting down, resisting, or giving in.

In a relationship, if one or both partners are closed, protected, or controlling, then they cannot emotionally connect with each other. No matter how much time they spend together with the typical romantic trappings, like candles, wine or expensive lingerie, the connection will not be there. Ironically, when the intent is to get love or avoid pain, what we create is a lack of love and much pain.

However, if both partners are open to learning, they will be emotionally available to each other, and can bond with a touch, a smile, or a kind word. The big challenge in relationships is to stay open to learning about loving. Because we automatically and unconsciously revert to our protective, controlling behaviour in the face of fear, being open to learning needs to be a conscious choice. Developing the ability to make a conscious choice regarding your intent is a learning process. The hallmark of higher consciousness is being able to choose your intent each and every moment, even in the face of fear.

In your interactions with your partner, do you always seek to be right? Do you strive to protect your own feelings rather than risk opening your heart? Do you have the courage to swallow your pride in order to avoid an argument? Do you listen and seek to understand instead of talking all the time?

When relationship partners are both able to reliably choose to be open to learning about loving themselves and each other, they create a sweet and safe environment for their love to flourish. Candles, flowers, vacations, and so on are simply icing on the cake.

1/12/05

I'm mostly alone during work. Taking care of so many yet so little things. So many because there are so many different task to be done. So little because when I see the whole Engagement file, there are sooooo many difficult tasks to be done. I wonder how did they finish them during the 2 weeks. Its alot of 205 stuffs!! Process analysis, risk identification, testing, assertions, meetings and many many more! I wonder when will be the day where I would find all these tasks easy.

Today, I approached even more people. Made phone calls to people who i've never seen before. Everytime before i call, i will rehearse what i have to say over and over again. My heart will beat so fast loh. But its nice to hear the nice voices over the phones. They were friendly. I wonder if its just normal for them to sound friendly even though they aren't. Anyway, they don't know I'm just a trainee haaa, so they might have thought i am some big shot or what. Its good being a high ranking person isn't it? Hmm what does power mean to me? I guess it means that there is a lower possibility that one would treat you like a shit. (what will happen if i have told them that "Hi, I am a trainee from this X company......")

I've been reporting alot to my team IC haaa, feel so attached to the team liao, and what I've done really makes a difference to the completion rate of the engagement. Cool sia haa. I think he might find me a pest la, cuz even though he was busy, i still looked for him. He was nice enough to still smile at me.

I'm really grateful to the person who always helped me at the client's place. haaa going to email her to thank her after the whole thing. I'm such a pest.

Ah, today is 1st DEc!! tomorrow is someone's birthday loh, but she disappeared haa. Anyway if you are reading this, i'm gonna send the email at night ah. Stay tuned!.

Slice of Life

Taking Out the Trash

In order to maintain a clean, comfortable home, we regular clear out the garbage. Our liver and kidneys function pretty much in the same way as well to keep our bodies in good health. Natural law dictates that in order for something to perform at its most efficient, any clutter, excess, rubbish or accumulated toxins must be frequently removed.

It's no different with our mental health. Our minds can accrue lots of "stuff" that's useless and takes up valuable space, or worse, things that harass our peace of mind and suck our energy. This personal garbage is the result of the wear and tear of modern life. It's that ugly, smelly gunk that holds us back from experiencing joy and meaning. It's what we find when we want a quick fix, an easy path to fulfilment, or a scapegoat for disappointment.

Personal garbage festers in our ego, in the demands of others, in the negativity that surrounds us, in just turning on the tv and watching mindlessly to whatever's on, in deciding to live life without intention, in forgetting to hear our voice, losing our authenticity, in getting too busy and too distracted to listen to our heart.

People and incidents can throw garbage in our faces, but we have the personal power to start each day by taking our garbage out. Learn to begin again each morning, to jumpstart your self-esteem, your personal energy, your love, and your genius by getting rid of your personal baggage.

How do we do this?

1. Decide to let go of what you cannot change. Choose simply to embrace what you can do today to bring more love and more satisfaction into your life.

2. Decide to get happy. Force yourself to smile, to laugh. Get that injection of oxygen into your blood! Embrace humour as a way of life. Don't deny or suppress your inner child; let it teach you how to see the world in a fun, positive light again.

3. Take back the responsibility for your own joy. When you do this, you stop blaming and bearing grudges. You begin to feel in control of your life. You understand that when you take charge of your own joy, you really can achieve happiness, and no one can make you upset against your will.

4. Embrace a human moment, a higher moment, and give something away. Move out of your personal realm and help someone else. Give your time, your encouragement, your money, your hug, your smile.

Keep your mental state in the pink of health by taking out the trash everyday.