30/9/05

A dreamy state. My whole mind was just floating around. I guess i was a bit tired. Mentally burnt by piles of things. One person's determination to solve stress is limited to a certain threshold of stress. Once past it, that person would just give up. Currently in my situation, things are still within my tolerance level. Before the stress level rise to unbearable level, i need to quickly lower the level.

Imagine a boat with a hole in the middle. To prevent it from sinking, the person on the boat have to use whatever means to drain the water from the boat. Actually its a bad example. The person could just stuff his finger into the hole and no water can come in. Anyway the idea is like that.

Work to be done during this weekend. AB311 tutorial, AB311 Project research, AA205 tutorial, AA206 tutorial, ES104 Report and prepare for presentation, GV01 presentation ppt, FYP read chapter 3 (sorry wing, dragged for 3 weeks). I doubt i could finish everything by this weekend now. Priority..... AB311 tutorial, AA205 tutorial, AA206 tutorial, ES104 report, GV01 presentation, AB311 research, FYP chap 3.... sigh

Activities this weekend. Westwinds public performance at 5pm in bukit batok cc on sat. NUS band concert in UCC theatre on sunday at 7.30pm.

I'm glad that I have found friends to talk to lately. If not, I might just explode again. Thats not very...... nice. ha.

29/9/05

I was so tired. I had a class at 0830, then had a meeting at 1030..... then met until like 1630..... hmm. But when the time was 1330, I cannot commit myself to much of that project discussion because I had already planned 3 written tasks to be completed by 1630. But in the end, I could only finish 2 written tasks.... that means all my planning for written work have to push 1 slot later. I will have to spill over to next week schedule now. But, what to do? That project has to be handed in tomorrow.

I think my attention span was quite weak. I couldn't think much about that project after a while. I really don't know if I could really contribute anymore, so I moved on to my own work. I somehow felt the unhappiness of my grp mates... but I cannot afford to give up my own work to do something that i'm not very good at. There are currently 2 more pressing projects to complete, excluding the core modules project...... I don't know if they'll understand but..... people seldom understand me, cuz when i tell people what i'm facing, most would think that i am giving excuses.

One example, that time, when I was in BMT, I fell sick almost everyweek without fail. I had to report sick to see the medical officer. My friend said that i'm acting. I told him i'm concerned for my health. He doesn't believe. I pass out from BMT as Pes B that time. But when i got into my unit, a health checked showed something...... it was true... I'm just not that fit. No one believes me.

The world is not as understanding as people think, and people's behavior changed so quickly that its so hard to detect. I don't know why i got myself so many things to do.... but few people would believe me. And they would think that i'm whining... and whining, and being a wimp. I seldom put my complaints to words.... I don't tell those things to people, cuz i know... people are not as understanding, no point complaining. Just work until you die right?

I don't know how people out there would think about me after they read all these things. I just feel that I, as a human, have limited abilities too. One would have to manage their expectations on me as well. I often have to make choices on the things that I would want to put more emphasis for regarding work. Time is one big lacking resource form me. 4 hrs of travelling everyday is no joke. The fact that i managed to make use of that 4 hrs and do some productive work is a great achievement i think.

Being in 3 bands (1 part time), teaching a school, taking 6 modules + an fyp to handle, two online kingdom management games and a blog to handle are no joke too. Sloting activities into little time slots is what i usually do. For me, I have to look at where are my free time slots.... for most people, they are looking at the time they need to do work.

I think i better stop this stupid vomiting of my suffering self thoughts. Someone people might get so sick about it.

For the band practice at night, I practically anyhow played. I didn't care about tuning, and I just stuffed my ear plug into my ear so much so that I can't hear all the blasting made by other people. Its either that my ear is hearing things louder, or the band has become so confident that they play out so much more compared to last few weeks. The lights has caused so much headache. I really derive negative utility today. Anyway the concert will be over by this weekend. Strive for survival.

Slice of Life

Expect the Best!

There is a universal law that whatever you expect, you tend to attract. That's why many of us don't get the results we want. We may desire the best, but how many of us really think it's possible? How many of us consistently expect the best?

Throughout the early years of your life you may have learnt to expect the worst. It may have been because your parents were like that and you've adopted the same manner of thinking. Or, it could simply be a negative attitude. But, that too, could have been picked up by associating with someone else.

Or maybe you've developed negative expectations because of past bad experience. Because things have turned out unfavourably before, you believe that they'll continue to bad. Because you failed before, you find it that much harder to believe that you can succeed the next time round.

But to desire prosperity and success in life, but yet, always expecting misfortune, or to be continually doubting our ability to get what we truly want, is like trying to reach east by traveling west.

A person cannot consistently doubt his or her ability to succeed, and then succeed. These thoughts of doubt will always attract failure.

When you are faced with a difficult circumstance do you expect the worst or the best? Whatever we expect we attract. If it's your habit to always expect the worst you're simply adding fuel to the fire, creating more negative circumstances that will create more negative expectations on your part.

Your beliefs and expectations are the driving force behind your behaviors and your results. If your expectations are fear driven, they will impair your normal functioning and keep you from making positive and long lasting changes in your life.

The good news is, your beliefs and expectations are just habits. Whatever reasons you have developed these habits, if you want to truly change your results, you must, absolutely change your habits of expectation and learn to expect the best.

Like I said before, the reason we possess positive, or negative expectations, is simply due to habits.

A large part of our current circumstances, whether they be positive or negative, are a result of our faith, belief, and expectations. If we want to change our circumstances, then obviously, we need to change our faith, belief, and expectations.

28/9/05

I'm just so hype now. After the meeting for ES104, I got so excited that I flew home to type out the outline for the project. Yeah, i've done it. A 3 pages outline, single spaced. I can't believe that the project could be that big. Its not something i would expect from an ES module. General perception: slack and easy module. Too bad, wrong. Its project discovery, and so, most of the stuffs are through personal discovery.

I thought I could have more things to....... oh ya. I came up with a new melody for a new piece this morning, just before I wanted to step out of home. Ha, must be some inspiration from someone. Thankz ah. But I'll only start when i'm really free. Now is the time where everything just come crashing in. Its just like the Judo character in the Naruto anime, standing in the middle of the forest without fear even knowing that many darts are coming his way. Poised to use his secret technique to siam all the darts. That is cool! I'm under that situation now.

I hope my group members can help me with a bit of work this week because i'm really crazy with activities coming up. Tomorrow, NUS band rehearsal, sat westwinds performance, sun NUS concert.

I have a presentation tomorrow and I haven't even prepared what I wanted to say. Sigh. I guess I'll do that on my bus ride to school tomorrow. Who want to challenge me? haha. Setting up a study corner in the bus. brrrrrrrrrr

Oh ya, my friend bought me bottled barley!! Thats so nice of him. Thankz alot man!

27/9/05

ahhhh slight sore throat. I'll always have to raise my voice when those kids just make too much noise. I wonder how can I be in the music field if I cannot stand loud noise. Today I went to teach band for the whole day. Its really cool when you see them improve. One of my students was so negative about life, kept on saying he is useless, no hope. I wonder if our younger generation is facing too much stress. Where is the childhood?

It seems like my engine for work has taken vacation somewhere. I can't seem to pull myself to do work these few weeks. There is no urgency at all! I am damn disappointed with myself. Although I know that this is bad, but I just can't make my brain work and push myself to do somemore work. My mind is filled with sat and sun performance. Limited ram?

Sat, Westwinds children day celebration public performance in Bukit Batok CC itself. Playing funny songs that people will sure laugh when they hear them. Starts perhaps in the evening. The members were asked to reach they by 4.30pm.

Sun, NUS band concert in UCC theatre. Playing pieces for children too!! ah, I feel abit funny cuz I'm not very hardworking for this concert. Maybe I'm just too complecent. Just hope I won't have any major mistakes. This is at 7.30pm. Ticket price..... can't remember.

After these 2 concerts, its time to get back to work and work on 311 thingys, and 206 things, ES104 and GV01 thingy. Things are just starting to get exciting. Next friday, GV01 presentation. The Monday after that, 206 presentation. THe wed after that ES104 presentation. The Monday after that might be 205 presentation (not confirm). THe wed after that is ES104 report deadline + quiz. The Monday after that is report deadline for 206. The thursday after that is 311 presentation and report deadline. I think by the end of all deadlines, i might just be dead. Challenging I should say.

I'll see where my attitude this sem would take me too. I rate myself as sucky this sem ha.

During the dinner, my dad actually "lectured" me about being open in life. Not to be so picky regarding things, and to maintain good relationships with friends. I guess thats his golden words. I don't think i'm very bad with friends...... I hope.

Slice of Life

Voluntary Simplicity

In such a hectic world, the virtues of simplicity and contentment have been displaced by greed and excess. Our lives are filled with "stuff" - things to do, things to buy, shows to watch, emails to read. But if you take a moment to examine your possessions and activities, how many of them really improve the quality of your life?

he term 'voluntary simplicity' is used to describe a process whereby people opt out of the harried life of modern day living, and choose to live a life of frugality. Frugality in the sense of enjoying the virtue of getting good value for every minute of your life energy and from everything you have. Because when you think about it, how much do you really need? How much of your "stuff" do you actually use?

As we search for meaning in our lives, we start to become aware of the emptiness and shallowness of a life based on materialism and consumerism. We become aware of the tremendous amount of life force that we expend just to keep up with the 'rat race.' We start the search for a life of deeper meaning and ask ourselves 'what gives us joy?'

What we don't realise is that we are spiritual beings, in a physical body, and when we don't connect the internal (spiritual) and the external (physical), our lives increasingly lose a sense of balance or harmony. What are the expectations and assumptions that drive us to live our lives like zombies? How much 'life force' energy are we prepared to exchange for the material goods we consume?

If you've bought into the prevailing system, stop and think about why your life seems increasingly futile no matter how much you do and how much you buy. Here are some ways you can simplify your life for more inner peace and clarity.

Have a Buy Nothing Day.

Look at the foods you consume.Do you really need so much? Choose more simply prepared and natural foods. Replacing meat, fats, and grease with veggies and fruits may seem unappetizing at first, but believe me, after a while, you will feel and look better.

Use non-toxic products such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and salt in your home and garden (if you have one).

Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.

Decide what is really working in your life and let go of that which no longer serves you.
Surround yourself with what you really need and love.

26/9/05

A little shaken, a little affected.
The tree should not to ponder when the scale of nature was tipped once again.
Bracing itself, today it wonders.
Thoughts inside, the hearts awaken.
Although the equilibrium moved, although the wind blew,
the leaves should remain on the tree, the fruits should stay on the tree.
Imperfection inside, kept within. None to know, none should care.
Once revealed, pain is hard to bear.
Days shall pass, as the moon and sun fulfill its duties.
It shall manage its bearings, and stay for eternity.

I was a little tired today. No much, just a little. Somehow my mind came up with the pros and cons of handling a project. Pros, you'll learn more, remember more, benefits long term learning. Cons, stress and too much thoughts. Somehow, although my mind was alot more easy this semester, I was worried about my learning slightly. Well, its a give and take. I'll rather enjoy my life more. *you damn slacker!!* (scolding myself)

I got much to say but it just couldn't come out of my mind. Sometimes my mind is dead. Don't want to think, don't want to speak. Just wait and wait and wait, until my mind wakes up. I have dual personality, beware my friends.

Slice of Life

Worry

If you're like most people, you worry about problems. In most cases, it's not the problem in question that's causing distress, but the worrying itself.

Worry inhibits clear thinking, it drains us of energy, and it upsets our sleep. It can make us irritable, bitter, regretful, pessimistic, fearful and depressed. Worry turns us all into cowards. It makes us turn away from acting on a problem. Worry pushes us back into ourselves, reinforces the impression that the worst will happen, that we can't cope, that we are helpless in the flow of circumstances that carry us to our ultimate unhappiness.

Problems are often created and imposed upon us by other people, or rather, by our inability to prevent other people from loading that weight of trouble on our shoulders. We habitually and implicitly say 'yes' to problems, because many of us do not have the coping techniques to assert 'no'.

Here are some ways you might be able to control your worrying.

Think about what is worrying you, and ask yourself what possible action you can take to alleviate the problem. Then take that action immediately.

To bring harmony into your life is to accept that some things are quite beyond our control. As the saying goes 'Change what you can change and accept what you can't'.

Worry thrives on inactivity and lack of choice, it lies coiled in quiet places. So launch yourself into a busy routine of work and leisure. By keeping your mind occupied on other things, it will have less time to worry.

Our days can be riddled with problems, each problem bringing with it the burden of worry. But to know that a problem is a perception is already to have divested ourselves of some of its weight. The world is what it is to us because of the way we choose to see it.

In most cases, for most of the time, problems are simply thoughts in the imagination, without necessarily any firm basis in external reality. Worrying is a waste of our precious time, we cannot control events or circumstances, we can only do our very best in trying to solve the problem. So instead of using up your energy in worrying, use the energy to take action.

Some people will go to enormous lengths to avoid doing something they find embarrassing or difficult, tedious, unfamiliar, new. The trouble is that many problems just don't go away by themselves. In procrastinating, we hold ourselves back. We may wish the problem had never happened. But it has. And the only way through to a trouble-free tomorrow is to tackle those troubles today.

25/9/05

Too many happenings today. Lets start with happy things. Westwinds is going to have a children day public performance in the Bukit Batok CC itself. The songs we are are so cute that we cannot prevent ourselves from laughing. The worst thing is that. I was wearing orange, my partner was wearing yellow, the tuba player beside her was wearing green. What does this look like? Traffic light!. The whole band heard this comment, blurt out by one of our favourite trumpeter. Non stop laughter.

Today's rehearsal was super. My sound has developed into a round shape, even rounder than previous. I guess its the training I had from playing a Miraphone Eupho. Besson Eupho is still my favourite. My great wife. I still remembered that I played quite a long solo for Edlewise (don't know how to spell). Super expressive haha. I guess i developed my air control through singing. Who says singing doesn't help playing music?

I remember the time where I wanted to quit Westwinds because I don't like how they play the music. I am really glad that I didn't do that. Westwinds seemed to have grown in terms of sound. No more the loud and rubbish playing. Now, a more expressive playing. Great!! Best of all, Westwinds has the ability to perform in public after just 1 rehearsal. Its a great band for more performance exposure.

Well, next week is crazy now. Cuz Sat, Westwinds performance, Sun, NUS band concert!. My lips going to droop now haha. I'll bring my Darling Eupho for performance on sun. Not going to use the rubbish Miraphone haha.

Now for the scary thing. Just after band prac ended and was about to go home, some of my bandmates heard a loud Thump. After looking for where the sound came from, we saw....... someone lying on the grass patch just outside Bukit Batok CC. The grass patch seemed to have sunk in at the place where the person was lying..... no movement.......... We called the police. Apparently, someone jumped. Scary..... Why would someone end their life that way. Its just too painful.

To all my friends out there, no matter how hard life is, it is a test for us all. No matter how hard it is for us to walk, treat it as a challenge for us. Ending your own life is just too wasteful. So many people would be sad for you. Think twice. There is always a way out.

I wanna pen down my dream. I dreamt that I was in this concert where many great singers were together with me, singing a song that I composed. There was Wang Li Hong, Jay Chou, David Tao, and many others. Wang Li Hong's harmony skills was superb!!. It seems like I could hear the melody in my dream. The song started with a soloem opening and then transit into a melody of hope and strength. The ending was dramatic. Too bad!! I cannot remember the melody after I woke up. But the title of the song was..... Everyone dou1 xu1 yao4 yi2 ge4 peng2 you3.

24/9/05

This is the 341th post in this blog. One yr anniversary is coming. I don't know if i'm gonna continue typing blog after that. It would be even more difficult when my work life starts. But its kinda good feeling that I haven't miss any posting. Its an avenue to express my thoughts where no one can stop me from "talking" as much as I want. I lack communication channels haha. Its a place where I would believe that someone would hear my words.

I got a habit to log into my own blog before coming here to type. So, I would be able to hear the piece I composed. Somehow, this is one of my favourite composition, considering that this is a piece composed for someone. And it was done in 6 hrs, I think. I really like to use music to express too, cuz words always give alot of misconception. Speech, too, has its limitation as well. Music is a universal language. Feel the music.

Today, I completed a number of tasks. 205 tutorial, 206 project reading, GV01 ppt add-ons, and helped one of my friend with his BAV. The whole thing ended at 3pm, then I rewarded myself with 2 hrs of gaming on Warcraft 3, working my battle strategy. Following, I went jogging, cuz I was so afraid that I might grow fat..... I cannot grow thin or fat now, cuz any thinner, I'll be a bamboo. Any fatter, I'll be teddy. Hmm am I too vain? haha. Well, its something that I learnt..... Any guy who doesn't care about his looks is going to get it one way or another. A better looking person gets work done easier right? What a sad world! No wonder I'm not good with interpersonal skills.

5 mosquito bites in 10 minutes. Thats guiness world record? Hmm. I got a wierd thinking. If a scientist is able to change the "poison" in the mosquito and make it a "good" insect, then people can go "yes! i got bitten" rather than " oh Shit! I got bitten". How about an Aids curing mosquito? Or... Flu vaccine mosquito? This can be done through its food source, that is the humans!!. Let us get inject with something and enhance our blood so that we can influence the mosquito to be a healthy mosquito! hmm, can work?

Sian, no Westwinds practice today.... I really miss playing in there. We gonna play crazy pieces for the Free Esplanade performance!! All my friends can come and watch!! Free!! Hee. I'll post the details when I know it. Stay tuned!.

23/9/05

A peaceful day. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing. Everything seems ok. My MCQs result aren't. The fact that the passing rate is higher compared to previous semesters added a stone into the pit i am in. I didn't pass!! Sigh..... Why must the mcq be sooooo difficult? But my friends could pass!! Whats happening to me?

But I realised that the balance theory is true. In this world, everything has a balance. And, when I saw my name on that list of people selected, I was so happy. I could see myself with the slanted smile haha.

I was late for my GE, so late. 30mins. I wonder what happened to braddell road. It took like 40 minutes before the bus went into a smooth speed.

In my recently completed GE, the class talked about this thing called national identity. I'm thinking,"why should countries want to create a national identity?" "Isn't it important to create a humanity identity?" Ha, I'm thinking too big scale. I realise humanity is not an easy thing to attain. Well... what the hell. haha.

Someone told me that i'm crazy cuz i aspire to become an auditor.. .. who aims to become an auditor? haha. I think it just suits my life. Getting myself super busy would be great cuz i can see that I would have alot of time to waste in the future, cuz i'm with no anything. Must make full use of time and keep myself busy from getting bored with life. Solitude hee yeah. Music shall accompany me.

23/9/05

Lesson in the morning... 2 tutorials. A big joke was created because one of my friend had some water stain on her blouse. The guys in my group thought it was some drooling that caused that water stain. Ever since then, the joke kept coming up. Her nickname.... lao nua girl.

The day rain so heavily that I was freezing like an ice block. Luckily my dear sweater is with me. Kept me warm and tender haha, not crispy.

I went for meeting to solve some 311 thingy, then went to have lunch before going back to the computer again to type my FYP thingys. Brain chao tah. Gave up at 4.50pm and went to boon lay to meet my friend. I really enjoys company of this friend. Joke all the way!! Crappy, playing with words. So, when i Told him i got a thick sweater.. he said," ya makes you sweat". There is also another joke about pigs flying.... i just couldn't remember. I too learnt much from him. When he told me that his clarinet keys is not responding, I told him," go control-alternate-delete, then click end task!!"

At night is NUS band. Starting to get a bit sick with the instrument haha. Need too much air just to produce a nice tone one it. No doubt, notes can be easily produced on it.... but nice tone needs so much air..... Miraphone... sigh.

Anyway its too late now, i need to sleep!!

Slice of Life

Five Great Ideas From Aristotle

Aristotle was a thinker and philosopher, a student of Plato, who lived in the third century B.C. He believed that everything had a purpose. He stated that our purpose as humans is to THINK in order to live a good life. So here are some thoughts from Aristotle to help you contemplate this life.

Thought #1: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

What is it that you repeatedly do? What do your habits say about you? Is that the message you want to send? How can you change your habits or adopt new ones to reflect your desire to become more excellent? What excellent acts can you do repeatedly so that they become a habit? Pick something simple and just get started.

Thought #2: "Education is the best provision for old age."

Take a look at how you are including learning in your daily life. Do you read? If so, are you learning from it? Choose ways to learn that excite and inspire you. A cooking class perhaps? A new sport? Learn now how to ignite your own curiosity and pursue learning as a lifelong adventure.

Thought #3: "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

We all do it-we hear an idea, and we immediately form an opinion about it without really taking the time to form a reasoned conclusion. The next time someone states an opinion you disagree with, try "entertaining" the thought. Ask questions. Show interest. You'll probably find that your original opinion will have changed a bit because you spent more time holding a thought without attacking it.

Thought #4: "What lies in our power to do, also lies in our power not to do."

We are often slaves to our bad habits. They could be obviously harmful ones like smoking or overeating, or more sneaky ones like watching too much TV, gossiping, or reading too many celebrity magazines. Identify them and choose not to be governed by them anymore.

Thought #5: "Well begun is half done."

We all understand that setting a goal, doing the research, and making a plan will increase the likelihood of success. Whether it's a home improvement project, a vacation schedule, or a tricky new recipe, proper planning preparation will save us a lot of time and effort.

21/9/05

Today marks the end of one of my GE, ES105. That means one down and 2 more GEs to go. Can anyone imagine me clearing the whole GE requirement in 1 sem? 9 AUs of them. But haha, I put myself into fire to burn. Thats why my brain always overheat. I've been adopting the not-use-brain-unless-necessary approach.

Today, brain overheated again. I was preparing for my AB311 module presentation for tutorial 8. I did a total art piece for the Mckinsey Matrix. Amazing haha. I thought I'm lousy in art but I manage to pull one out from nowhere.

The happenings today were,

A 2hr class in the morning,
AB311 preparation until 12.45pm
ES104 lecture in the afternoon,
ES105 tutorial in the late afternoon.

I was lucky to have a friend driving me back to Bishan, where I took bus back to Toa Payoh. Reach home an hr earlier compared to normal time.

FYP tutor sent back our chapter 1 and 2. Tonnes of things to improve on. Luckily he is a friendly and nice Professor. Qualitative research is difficult to get good grades, but we won't resign to that fate. Somehow, things seems busy, things seems not.

Do I enjoy to get myself busy? Yes and no. Yes, when i have nothing to do. No, when i have too much things already (duh). Currently too many things. Projects all coming (luckily the tutorial things are lesser now). Band performances coming (2 bands!).

I have gave up worrying about things already. I believe that boats will become straight when they come near to the habour.

Anyway, welcome all new visitors. Have fun here cuz there will always be great fruit for thoughts during weekdays...... erm that is if I receive the email haha. Have fun ya.

20/9/05

Went to a company in the morning for a meeting with thier senior executive to talk about their business situations in terms of risk management. Well, the chat was fun as the person was so friendly. I also learned more by chatting with my group members. My team is just full of talents and people with drive. That are the brain. I'm just a worker. Anyway, the genius talked about the job he wanted to have, and he is looking for higher gaining jobs. Amazing.

After that, went back to school to study for an mcq test at 4.30pm. Kinda lost hope for it cuz the questions are super difficult. Luckily my friends had pass yr's mcq test for me to read, or else I would be even deeper in dark water. Anyway, i think I have put in my best effort in the mcq test. Whatever the results is, I will accept it.

Now i'm just feeling a bit headache. My mum just traumatised me again. Sometimes I'm just afraid of violent and loud people. People needs to understand that anger and violence cannot solve problems. Peace and harmony is the most important.

I am beginning to enjoy wearing long sleeves shirt haha. I could feel the confident i lack while wearing it. But its very artificial right? Building up confidence from some non-living thing. hmm I must try to build up from inside me.

Slice of Life

Courage in Life

An old saying goes "Courage is the most important virtue of all."

Everything that involves making a decision, no matter how tiny or taken for granted needs courage. Even a thing as simple as waking up and facing each day requires courage. The act of standing up to a corrupt government requires courage. Moving into a new career requires courage. Attending the first day of school requires courage. Every single act is a victory in itself and should be acknowledged and appreciated.

Many people sleep all the time, even when they are awake. They fantasize of the unattainable and neglect what they already have. These people don't have the courage to wake up in the morning and face the days ahead. Instead, they snuggle inside the deepest part of their soul and feel sorry for themselves.

It is normal, however, to temporarily lose that sense of courage. Every time we encounter unfamiliar territory, we might feel depressed. The only difference, however, that distinguishes a courageous person from the rest of his or her peers is "how long" the depressed period lasts.

Fortunately, cultivating courage doesn't require any special lesson. It simply starts with a choice to be and to start it mindfully.

Here are some tips to develop the courage to take over control of your life. Don't make any assumptions about anything. Usually, worry comes when you assume something bad is going to happen.

Forgive yourself. Many of us can easily forgive others, but can never forgive ourselves. Forgiving our past mistakes is the key to bounce back with renewed strength.

Now here's a trick - Pretend to be brave, and you are courageous instantly! If you can convince your mind that it's just play-acting, a game with no real consequences, you'll find it easier to be courageous.

Remember, happiness comes when you choose to start living and stop worrying. Worrying too much won't do any good, mostly because it can swallow up your courage and leave you with nothing else than an empty soul and shaky hands.

Once you have the courage within, you will be ready to perform the other virtues of life. It would be impossible to be compassionate to others if you don't have the courage. It would be impossible to be grateful to others if you don't have the courage. It would be impossible to do thousands of other virtues if you don't have the courage to simply be true to yourself.

19/9/05

Went to school for class in the morning. A 2 hrs tutorial, 4 hrs travelling (2.5 hrs of sleeping on bus, 1.5hrs of trying to read but dozing off once in a while.) I'm just impressed again by the presentation made by my friend. The coolness, the wittyness, the on-the-spot thinking is what i cannot do. Something for me to improve on.

Tomorrow is a 15% quiz for my risk management module. I tried to study, read, and remember things. But my mind tells my heart that I should relax and don't think so much cuz much of it is common sense. My heart pumps and tells my mind," you dumb ass on the head, wait till you regret." As I read and read through those things, I really cannot find something that I think would certainly come out for the quiz. No clues, no signals, just randomness. It is unlikely that they would ask questions that requires you to recall facts too. SIgh. What kind of questions could come out???

How much games i've played today? 3-6pm Xenosaga.... amazing game once again! The game is like an anime! fantastic graphics, dialogues, storylines. 8-9pm warcraft 3.

Darn!! How can I be so relax!! Something is really wrong in my brain. *knock knock*.

18/9/05

Happy Mid autumn!! My parents just fed me so much mooncake that i feel like i'm growing so much fatter. So, i ran to stadium and ran 7 laps and ran back home. During the run, I kept constant pace throughout and managed to run past this black guy, perhaps from africa or nigeria, i don't know. But then he kept up with my pace and keep running beside me..... I'm like.... omg. So, i kept running and running and running. He was still there. I don't know how to.... you know stop without showing my incapability to keep up. At the 7th lap, haha i ran straight out of the stadium while he.... carried on, and on and on at an even faster pace. Amazing.

After I went back home for a while, there was Rainbow! Its was soo nice and beautiful. Hanging in the sky, matching the hue of the clouds. Somehow, skies and clouds match. Hues of blue, grey, white. I always like to look at the sky.

Had dinner with mum and dad at the coffee shop, not forgetting, my dog was there too. Its festive season, she can't be staying at home alone. Then, went to the Shuang Lin Si. Lots of people, lots of lanterns. It has been long since i last walk into a crowd. I felt a sense of tranquility when i walked into the place, which left me with some thoughts.

Last day of holidays and I'm lucky that i still had time to play games. Phew. Starting from tomorrow, no joke.

17/9/05

Well Well, finally prepared my GV01 slides up to the introduction of Piece part. Thats halfway through liao. Then went to Sim Lim to get this external floppy drive when i found out that my comp doesn't have one. And, I bought some dvd+rw to do some files copying as backup. Then i found that Dvd+rw cannot be used as system recovery disk.... why so troublesome.??

Then i have to go to potong pasir cc for a band performance at night, so i popped by popular and bought Dvd+R. I really wonder why there are so many different types of dvd R. +R, -R, whats the diff?

Anyway, the performance was ok. I met this sec 4 eupho player. ha, she was so curious abt me. I was like,"eh? what is she up to?" I just told her i too old haha. Well, she played well for a sec 4. Good precision and tuning. Me.... using the yamaha student model vs her besson 700 series. I can't pitch properly for god's sake. The mouth piece just feels like a Eb Horn mouthpiece to me. When it comes to low Bb, only air comes out and lips can't vibrate.

Somehow I wonder... am I a young girl killer or an auntie killer? haha. Or perhaps a MAN killer? opps.

Ha a little bit crazy. But fun when you meet these kind of girls. Just laugh and laugh inside. I didn't show it cuz i was suppose to have this "teacher" image in their eyes. They call me Mr. Ling when i'm playing there in potong pasir. How can I be the normal me haha.

Happy Mooncake Festival, or Mid Autumn Festival, whatever.

16/9/05

When have i declare myself a holiday?? OMG I spent almost the whole day playing game, except for 4pm to 7pm, where I did my powerpoints for my GV01 presentation. I read the history of Beethoven. Its just 1/4 of the whole project. took me 3 hrs.... too long to my liking.

I can finally play my Warcraft 3. I wonder how many times i've said this. This time is for real!! I really like that game. Hmm but too bad my Age of Mythology cannot work. Well, contented i must be. hee.

Deadlines are coming after the one week break. Let me see..... My ES105 are settled. GV01 in progress. AA205 left the group essay and presentation. AA206 left the a class presentation which i won't be involve and a project report+ presentation. AB311 left a in class case presentation and a project report + presentation. Ha, if I was who I am in the past, I would have collapsed after seeing such a long list. But heaven seems kind to me that i'm with good groupmates. A shared stress level.

Ops, I missed out the FYP. haha. Its moving smoothly too.

Somehow, University education really prepares you to do alot of reports, presentations, and stress management stuffs. As i'm nearing the working days, I am really not that worried about doing presentations, reports and stuffs. Stress..... hmm the most effective to release stress is to deal with the stress head on. That is my principle. Never hide, never run away. Face it and challenge yourself. Success is in your hands.

15/09/05

Today's excitment has past. Interview in PWC is such an enjoyable experience. But whether they'll employ me is another story. The atmosphere is so soothing for working. This is the kind of place I would want to be in. The interviewer is just so interesting. But she is really young to be a manager you know. I think she is the super capable of working kind. Just impressed me with her knowledge. I don't know if i have charmed her or not haha, but i charmed myself. (crazy self). I really want to work there.... pretty please??? Eeks haha I won't give up even if i am not selected. I'll try for it when i graduate. hee

After that, I went to Funan by foot from PWC building. I gotta collect a cable modem there. Its free! power.

At night, I'll be going for my band practice in NUS. Get ready my ear plugs!!

Slice of Life

Influencing People

Almost every day, we find ourselves in situations where we need to influence or persuade people. This sounds like the job for someone in a leadership position, but all of us need this skill in order to streamline our lives, make things better, or simply to get things moving. Like getting your child to do his homework or clean his room. Or getting your co-worker to share duties more equitably.

Influencing is about being able to move things forward, without pushing, forcing or telling others what to do. It's the ability to work everything at your disposal, both verbal and non-verbal communication, to create the impact you want, rather than letting things just happen.

To best influence people you must have an understanding of yourself and the effect or impact you have on others. It's about knowing how others perceive you. It can sometimes be looked at as the ability to finesse another person. They become persuaded, often unconsciously, into seeing and understanding your view.
If you can make people understand your view then they will be far more willing to at least meet you halfway. Even more so if you make them feel acknowledged, understood and appreciated. They may even end up doing or agreeing to something they wouldn't have previously done because they feel good about making the choice.

Now, here's a big secret to influencing people; make the other person feel important and the more they will respond to you. It's human nature for people to want to be recognized and to feel like "somebody." It's been said about recognition, "Babies cry for it and grown men die for it."

People will always respond in a negative way to you if you treat them like a nobody, or talk down to them. I see this all the time, particularly in families. Parents can't seem to understand why their kids disrespect them. Often times, the parents are talking down to their kids, belittling them, making them feel like their ideas are stupid, and making them feel unimportant.

People could gain a lot of ground by first listening to others without judgment and criticism, hearing what is important to them, and hearing what will move them. When you know what will move them, you will then know how to move them because you will be able to tell them what they want to hear. You can simply show them how they can get what they want by doing what you want.

Again, our successes in life will be greatly determined by how well we influence other people. So, we need to learn all we can about human nature and obtain great people skills so we may win others to our way of thinking.

14/9/05

I did whole lot of work today. I completed my targets for the day. AA206, AB311, and GV01. Those are my subject codes, and I have planned and typed the outline for those projects. Pat on my own back. *can't reach*.

I updated my windows. Took 5 hrs to do it. Soooooo long. While I was updating, I played my xenosaga for a while. The story line is just sooooo captivating! The music, graphics, dialogues, made my heart beat so fast for excitement. The intense scenes of danger and adventure really caught my total attention. "whats going next" was always popping on my mind. Cool game!

Later i'm going for a band prac. Help my teacher again in Potong Pasir cc band. And I need to sleep early, so I am typing this blog early today. Tomorrow is a day of testing my bragging skills. Perhaps its a day of testing my own confidence and how much i know myself. I know alot of myself actually but then i don't know if i can speak my mind when I am very very nervous. Perhaps the interviewer might eat me up? I don't know. Look professional, speak professional, act professional? Ops haha I am professional (think only). Maybe i can go and traumatise the interviewer.

One way to calm myself down," why worry? there is still phase 2. If they don't want me, its their loss. Just like those who didn't want me in the past." Self comforting? Perhaps for a while. Inside, I know i don't feel this way. Not the arrogant sounding kind. I'm.... a little scared actually. *Be brave, you ass! Its time to show them what you can do!"

13/9/05

I'm just dead beat trying to restore everything into my new computer. It came and it is chio! Black... sexy colour. Anyway, i got it up and running except for its anti virus things. I just can't seem to get my mcafee working since its last update few months age. I can be bothered sia haha. Lazy.

The morning.... I went to teach band. Didn't see them for a long time so its time to go back for reunion. They are still the same, but the playing skills improved. Sound is stronger. Good good.

Its very late now, and i need to get going. ahhhhh

tomorrow is project day. 3 projects preparation for me. AA206, AB311, and GV01. Threeeeeee projects. Faint.

Slice of Life

Writing to Manage Anger

People have mixed feelings about anger. Some believe that ultimately it cannot bring any good and so recommend that we avoid it or let go of it. Some suggest expressing anger in some cathartic way so as to release the tension, some advocate that we suppress it. Some feel that anger can be a powerful springboard that can propel us towards making things better; that we can channel the emotions invoked by anger into positive activities.

None of them are wrong. But you do need to find out how best to manage your own anger. What triggers it, how does it manifest itself, and what are the consequences? Writing about your anger can help you gain valuable insight into what anger does to you and how you should deal with it.

When you have a strong reaction to a situation, writing about it can help diffuse the pressure. Remember to include a detailed description of your strong feelings including the facts of the situation. Remember to use as much space on a page as you can when you scribble. Continue to scribble until you feel tired or relieved. If you feel calmer and more lucid after all this scribbling, then this exercise is for you.

Another way to manage your anger is to write unsent letters. Many of us find it easier and more effective to communicate our thoughts to others via letters. Direct confrontation, either face-to-face or on the phone, may lead to the main message being clouded or overturned by emotions or angry outbursts. At some point either during, immediately or after you've written your letter, you will gain clarity about your part in the situation. You will also learn to evaluate your responsibility as well as the other party's responsibility in the same situation.

Writing an imagined or real conversation you had with the other party, can also help let out some of your anger. Start your dialogue with two voices, the letter "A" (for your voice) and "B" (for the other person's voice). Be sure to allow both voices time to speak. Another good way to verbalise your feelings about a frustrating situation is to write sentences that begin with "I am feeling ?"

After these exercises, review the work you've done. Write one action you could have taken to keep the earlier situation from accelerating. Write another sentence describing one action that the other party could have taken. Write down one positive action you are willing to take to change your anger _expression now.

Look forward to celebrating your freedom from past buried feelings. Remember that no intense feeling is worth ignoring. It's much better to express your feelings a few at a time, than to pay the price of those same feelings causing problems for you in the future.

12/9/05

I love JJ!! Erm... not the kind you are thinking. I love his songs. His voice got a certain character in it that cannot be imitated easily. Its called core competencies!! haha. Learnt from my strategic management class.

I finally made it!! I finished my 1.5k words essay. Damn that module. Its getting out of my life now.... for now. hee

Went to school for a make up tutorial. 3 hrs.... mind shutdown after 2 hrs. Absorption rate... 60%? Bad. Anyway, i can't deny that I enjoy talking to a friend. Always cheerful, always trigger the intelli-talk ha. Well, I bet that friend is very blissful. Of course, we'll always be great friends.

Come to think of it, i really love my voice now. Although not the pro kind, but i'm contented with it. slightly squeeezy with the high notes but sing most of the things according to the feelings that i want... yeah!

Interview on Thursday!! 2 more days to come. I need to act confident during these 2 days!!!!

11/9/05

Went to Kbox in the morning for Klunch session. I found that my singing has reached another level!! OMG but still will go out of tune one lah. Perhaps the mic there is so good that can capture my voice even when i sing very soft. Cool right? I'll prac more haha.

Then, I went to look for a light blue longsleeve shirt for my interview. I'm going to charm my interviewer (if its a lady.) If its a guy, then i'm a goner haha. Well joking lah, i don't think i got enough charm to do that. G2000 shirts look good sia. hee. Now i'm back home, trying to start on my 1500 words essay for my GE. I work harder for my GE as compared to my core modules. Sometimes its really a good match of modules for me. If i were to match some of my modules with others, i might die doing work. I feel that I've been given a good match every semester where some modules would balance out others. Lucky perhaps.

I better be doing my work. I'm very late in starting it. haha tata

10/9/05

Highlight: band at night. Actually i did alot of things today and i think its a really good day. Completed a 206 tutorial case study, then went out to take my professional-look photo then found an article for my educational minor essay.

Well band.... amazing arrangements on some children medley and chinese oldies. Kudos to chinese arrangers. Played and laugh and i can't really concentrate. haha.

I really donno what to say haha. just go sleep.

9/9/05

Should I be more confident? This question appeared. Ha but the problem is.... am i not confident enough? I don't know whats my current level. Anyway, I'm going to look like i'm a tough guy for the interview. But if they found the right pin to poke me, I'll just deflate haha.

The morning class seemed like a lulleby to me. Baroque music seems like not very for me. But then the cello suites are definitely cool, cuz it relates to eupho alot. Our teacher today let us watched the fantasia that has Nutcracker suite and toccata and fugue in it. I can't remember who composed the toccata and fugue, but I labelled it the vampire piece.

Its holiday, but i need to so alot of things. Plan plan. Strategy as plan..... and i need strategy as action. Just in case any emergent conditions appear out of no where.

8/9/05

I am really headache with soooo many things!! I brought this to myself as i always said. Sigh what to do???? Next week is suppose to be my holiday week but I have things packed almost everyday. I have to seperate my days into 3 sections and see where i have time for research on projects and prepare for my interview. There are really too many things!!!

Today's lesson was ok. Nothing particular happened. In the afternoon, I have to type this horrendus essay that I have problem coming up with ideas. This is one of the first time that I have to try and fill up the words rather than cutting down words.

I think no one will understand how I feel. Actually no one need to because everyone has their own problems. We cannot assume that if the person seems to be enjoying life, he is not suffering. How does a swarn swim? Look gracefull on top and peddle like hell underneath. So please, everyone out there, don't think that I'm so free when I seems to look like one.

7/9/05

I am still in the lost state regarding what to do during my transport time and free time. I practically wasted by 3 hour break before my afternoon lesson. I am quite mess up by so many things inside my head. Need to prepare heavily for my interview next week.

Let me see what's left. Fill in the application form, go take a passport size photo, go buy a lightblue longsleeve shirt with horizontal stripes, buy a big envelop to put in all my documents.

Work wise, I need to read ES105 article and do its essay tomorrow.

Throughout the next week, its AA205 tutorial + study for quiz, AA206 tutorial case study, AB311 tutorial case + project, ES105 Big essay, ES104 seems pending on its work and will leave that project to last minute.

Next week activities, monday make up tutorial, collect my exam results, Tues teach band, Wed do ES105 Essay, Thursday interview and NUS band prac, Friday to sunday start to do all tutorials. That should be it.

Too many things in mind, must write them down

Slice of Life

Mid Life Crisis?

So you?ve been feeling off-colour lately. Every day you wake up to a life that seems increasingly monotone and remote to you. The job that used to give you so much satisfaction now seems like a chore. You?re questioning your value both at work and at home - are you getting better at your job or have you plateaued? Are you a good father? Are you a good wife? It?s as if you?ve suddenly lost touch with the world. You?re tired most of the time and you don?t seem to be doing anything right.
Is this what they call Mid Life Crisis? Well, it?s hard to say, although it?s more likely your soul telling you to get your life aligned with your values.

In the past, you?ve pursued the things you believed you needed ? things like that car, that club membership, partying every other night, maxing out your credit card on designer labels, and having as many romantic trysts as possible. You were young, you weren?t worried about health, money or what?s going to happen tomorrow; you were just living life!

But now, these things don?t seem to give you the gratification they used to. Your relationship with your partner, your family members, your colleagues are all not too good. You feel that you?re missing something, and that life will continue to feel empty until you find it. So what can you do?

Start by writing a list of 20 items in your life which you are not completely happy with, covering things like Relationship, Career, Family, Health, Wealth, Personal, Friends, Habits, and so on. Once the list is completed, rank each item for the level of dissatisfaction this particular item provides. From this list, choose the 6 items which frustrate you the most.
Write a detailed description of why, how and when these issues arise. Describing also how you feel when these issues are active.

Next, review those parts of your life which bring you true happiness. Rank them in order and pick out the 6 items which give you the most satisfaction. Also write why, how and when th
ey arise.

Look at both lists and think critically about how you can lessen the dissatisfaction and increase the joy in your life by doing more of certain things and less of others. The more detailed and honest you are, you more successful you?ll be in crystallizing a blueprint for your life ahead that will reduce your stress and bring you more happiness and satisfaction.

6/9/05

Today I feel so dumb. I thought my new comp is going to come today, so yesterday, I unplugged my old comp and attached my old harddisk to the external case. But.... I got the date wrong!!!. Its next weeeeeeek. So how? I plugged everything. If not, I cannot do my work. Super dumb + poor sense of dates.

In the morning, a feeling of challenged. Its the NTUC BEST challenge. So what happened? Anyway its a business simulation game where we need to decide on a few inputs like advertising blar blar blar and see how my company fare against other companies. Bad start, bottom of the table for the first 4 rounds. But, we strive, we schemed, we pit our brains against all odds. We climbed slowly and slowly, we eat other companies up!! We managed to get out of the bottom pit and climb up 4 ranks. Ermmmmm there were 15 teams haha. Our company went for the differentiator strategy but it seems like its hard to sustain performance haha. GAmes aren't good for strategic training eh? Any good PC business games to recommend?

I need to do work at night, have not been able to sleep and do work well these 2 days because of the computer excitment haa. I'm crazy. Now i'll have to wait one more week!! How much can i endure? haa

Slice of life

Managing Conflict with Family & Friends (2)

In the last programme, we discussed how negative self-talk can cause us to react angrily to the actions and statements of family members and friends.

We talked about how you might be upset over your spouse's extravagant gift for you perhaps - you telling yourself things like "she has such poor judgment", "we don't need such a big TV", "there she goes again, spending money excessively", "why can't she ever do what I want her to do?", "why did I marry such a woman?"

Of course, none of these things make any sense to you once you cool down and became your rational self again. But, at the moment of anger explosion, your self-statements seem 100% true to you. If you engage excessively in them, you distance yourself from your loved ones who are baffled at your outbursts. Over time, you may even begin to believe in some of the damaging statements.

The next time anger threatens to spoil a family event, try these simple steps:

Step 1: Retreat and think things over. Never respond immediately to a family anger or stress trigger. Give your body and your mind a chance to calm down so you can think rationally. Research shows this may take at least 20 minutes.

Step 2: Examine the evidence. The most convincing way of disputing negative self-talk toward a family member is to show yourself it is factually incorrect. Do not lie to yourself, but-like a detective -simply and honestly look at all the evidence at hand.

For instance, when you allow yourself the time to calm down and look at things objectively, you'll realize that past experience proves that your spouse isn't extravagant with money, and is in fact usually frugal. You remember that she always has your best interests at heart.

Step 3: Find a more positive and useful way of interpreting the behaviour of family members. Learn to read the intention behind the behaviour instead of judging the action. Your loved one is only trying to show his or her love and support for you, not to cause you stress.

5/9/05

I don't know why i am so lost today. I really don't know what work i should do. I'm just feeling excited about receiving my new comp tomorrow. I need to make full preparation for it. What abt my old comp? Trash it!

I'm really blur on what i have to do. Work work work. When I seems to have nothing to do, i'll panick. Cuz i wonder if i'm slacking too much. Shit. Let me think. FYP typing, ES105 presentation preparation, AA206 tutorial, AA205 Tutorials, AB311 case preparation. Thats for next week. And usually i do those on Fridays to sunday. Now.... what can i do??? I better go do some research on my AB311 project. Perhaps type my FYP when i have time... tonight. Tomorrow i can't do work cuz i'll have lots of things to handle for my new comp.

Slice of life

Managing Conflict with Family & Friends

Do you often feel the desire to lash out at your partner, family members and friends? Do you often find yourself questioning their love and concern for you?

When an upsetting event occurs - say a family member does something that you think is incredibly insensitive and stupid; or a friend says something you feel is hurtful - you have a choice of how you are going to explain it to yourself - what you are going to tell yourself about it. This will influence how angry, stressed, or upset you become over the event.

Because we take our family members and friends' affection for granted, we assume that they'll always see eye to eye with us or behave the way we expect them to behave. When we observe an action or remark that seems to contravene our expectations, we immediately suspect that they're trying to upset or disparage us.

Let's say your wife secretly buys you an LCD TV for your birthday. But because it cost so much money, you are displeased with her for not discussing it with you first. Besides you've always preferred plasma, it doesn't have the features you want, and so on. Your wife is left dumbfounded and you're fuming over why she would do something foolish like that. You've completely missed the point. You've ignored the wonderful motivation behind the gift and focused on the flaws.

Or say for example, you're having a beer with an old friend. The conversation turns to your success in life. Wanting to compliment you, your friend tells you how far you've come, how much of an inspiration you are to others, given your background with a dysfunctional family. But rather than seeing this as a compliment, you become offended, focusing on the fact that he brought up your family.

Learning to change what you tell yourself -your self-talk- can break the cycle of negativity that can often poison our minds when we get angry. We all have 'scripts' in our minds that tell us messages and stories about family members and how they behave.

In the next programme, we'll explore some ways of overcoming this negative self-talk, so that we stop ourselves from over-reacting or misjudging our loved ones behaviour.

4/9/05

Today was a happening day. Before that, I found out something yesterday. Sad and happy? Hmm confused. Ha. Well all the best to that friend. Have a blissful life.

This morning, I did work then after that, meet my insurance agent. Ha interesting talk.

Then I went to suntec with my great friend!! Its Comex. Computer show. IT show. I finally bought my new comp. Now i have alot of things to do in preparation for the new comp. I need to backup all my documents and work. Sigh. more work for me.

My another friend met us at late afternoon and my first friend went back. We went to a creative booth and queued for something. We queued for 1 hr, and found out. Its not the queue to buy things!! Its for us to experience a new kind of sound from a headphone. Darn, but we got a new headphone haha. Free.

Gotta go do my preparation now.

3/9/05

Nearly forgotten to post. Just finished writing halfway through my FYP chapter 2. The starting was difficult because of the unwillingness to put in my time to read and type the things. Somehow, the momentum started after 2 paragraphs. All the legal interest and feeling came at the right time. Fun.

In the morning, I went to a briefing for a NTUC BEST game. I'm going to compete with other 14 groups of ntu students. Its a business simulation game. Me and my group members will try to beat the system hhaa. Crazy people.

Tomorrow I'm going for the IT show!! COmex is it? Hope to find something good there. yeah!!

2/9/05

Ahhhhhh Choooooo. 4 times in a row, and the sick syndrome is here again. Somehow, the sickness doesn't come in a gradual style. It comes just like that, similar to the loudness and softness in baroque music. Interesting isn't it? Anyway classes today so.... nothing much haha, but then the things I need to do are so packed together.

After morning lesson, then meeting, then don't even have time for lunch, then lecture, then have to find my groupmates for signatures for a hand-in stuff. Troublesome module. Anyway its time for me to work on my tutorial. Sian.

Slice of Life

Anticipating Success

Are you affected by what happens to you? Or do you affect what happens to you? Which would you prefer?

In The Art of Possibility, authors Rosamund and Benjamin Zander remind us of our tremendous ability to attract what we want in our lives by being purposeful.

After 25 years of teaching, Ben Zander observed that students would be in such a chronic state of anxiety over the measurement of their performance that they would be reluctant to take risks with their playing.

announced at the beginning of the semester that each student in the class would be getting an A for the course. However, they were asked to fulfill one requirement to earn this grade. Sometime during the next two weeks, each student was to write him a letter post-dated by a year, which began with the words, "Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because...". In the letter they were to tell a detailed story of what would have happened to them within a year that was in line with them receiving an A in his class.

In other words, Zander asked the students to place themselves in the future, looking back, and to report on all the insights they acquired and milestones they attained during the school year, as if those accomplishments were already in the past.

Zander tells us that ?the A is an invention that creates possibility for both mentor and student, manager and employee, or for any human interaction. The practice of giving an A allows the teacher to line up with her students in their efforts to produce the outcome, rather than lining up with the standards against these students. In this way, the instructor and the student, or the manager and the employee, become a team for accomplishing the extraordinary.

Zander reminds us that ?It is dangerous to have our musicians so obsessed with competition because they will find it difficult to take the necessary risks with themselves to be great performers. The art of music, since it can only be conveyed through its interpreters, depends on expressive performance for its lifeblood. Yet it is only when we make mistakes in performance that we can really begin to notice what needs attention.? You don?t have to be a musician to appreciate the value of his wisdom.

So write yourself a letter, dating it a year from now. Project yourself into the future as you write a letter about all the insights you will have acquired and the milestones you will have attained during the year, as if your accomplishments for the next twelve months were already in the past. Chances are you?ll be able to reach your goals more effectively.

1/9/05

Lessons have been fine, band prac was fine. In-class discussion isn't haha. Somehow, I didn't clicked with the genius today. His views and my views are different sides of the coin. As I am not the offensive person, I followed his thinking and just agreed. Nothing much. Just very tired.

Slice of Life

Unlocking the Second Prison (Part 2)

Most ex-offenders are genuine in their desire to leave their past behind and begin a good, honest life. After all, they?ve gone through one of the most harrowing experiences a human being can endure ? the loss of freedom and separation from loved ones. They?re in no hurry to get into prison again.

However, because they face a tidal wave of discrimination and prejudice, they often cannot find employment. The unforgiving attitude of society can also turn ex-offenders into social outcasts. All these factors can push an ex-offender to fall back with his old company, possibly the ones who got him into trouble with the law in the first place. Without viable means of making a living, ex-offenders may also be compelled to turn again to crime.

In Singapore, about 11,000 people are released from prison every year. If we can let go of our prejudice and give them a second chance, many ex-offenders can and will go on to become valuable contributors to civic society. However, if we continue to reject them, they can also turn into liabilities. As members of the community, each of us has a part to play in helping ex-offenders re-enter society.

Consider these true stories of how employers and members of the community enabled some ex-offenders to begin a second lease of life?

"A car wash attendant starts his day at a Bukit Timah petrol kiosk. He smiles at his customer when he sees a yellow ribbon decal on the windscreen. His supervisor smiles too. It turns out all the attendants used to be from a certain Christian half-way house. It is their first day of work. "

"A social worker wears a yellow ribbon on the MRT. A well-dressed young man next to him asks, ?Why do you wear it??. After a brief conversation, the young man replies, ?I?m an ex-offender. Actually, today is my first day looking for work. Thanks!?

Fresh beginnings. Little acts that potentially mean a whole lot more. That?s what the Yellow Ribbon Project is all about ? how Singaporeans can continue to improve the social climate for ex-offenders by doing simple but deeply significant acts. It may start with as simple a gesture as wearing a yellow ribbon, but who knows how many more lives can be touched and reached as a result of our acceptance?

To find out how you can help, go to www.yellowribbon.org.sg or call 6214 2867.

This edition of "A Slice of Life" is brought to you by The Yellow Ribbon Project - Give ex-offenders and their families a Second Lease of Life.