30/6/05

Went to school, practically the whole day. From morning 9am (left home) to 3pm (reach home). Haha the librarians are getting big headaches from me. Make them all the way back to get the books from a remote site haha. Archieved books.

I guess I could only jog 2 times this week. Today is the second time. Feels good jogging. Haha I just wonder what did magic on my body. Is it the cereal breakfast that I adopted 2 weeks ago? I haven't feel the kind of tiredness that I usually feel. Hope my body can keep this healthy feel up.

Slice of Life

Waltz of the Z's

It's well known that the average human being needs at least eight hours of sleep a day to perform at his optimum level. But how many of us are getting enough? In places like the U.S., the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) recently reported that 63 percent of Americans are sleep deprived. In a rapidly-developing country like Singapore, where high stress levels show no sign of abating, can we expect most of us to be getting enough rest?

Besides job and relationship issues, other things like the loss of a loved one, a drastic change or a serious illness can cause even greater numbers of Singaporeans to suffer from sleep deprivation. Ironically, this is the time when a good night's sleep is even more important to facilitate recovery and healing. Sleep deficiency can also lead to dangerous consequences like dozing off while driving.

So are you struggling to snooze?

Here are some tips that may help soothe your sleeping worries.

One solution to combating insomnia is to create a restful and tranquil sleep environment in your bedroom. This includes keeping the temperature cool, the light dim and the bed comfortable. If you're not sleeping well, your mattress may be the problem. Most people don't realise that their bed can be preventing them from sleeping well and, in some cases, keeping them awake.

Do you keep irregular hours? As much as possible, stick to a normal sleep routine and get extra rest if your body needs it. When stressed, adults should pay careful attention to what their bodies are telling them, make good judgements about getting to bed earlier and take frequent naps. Going to bed earlier may be tough in the beginning, but your body will gradually adjust to the cycle. If you find that initially, you can't fall asleep within half an hour or so, don't fret. Don't try to force yourself to sleep. It never works. Get up and do something - read a book, drink some milk, organise your shelf. You'll soon find yourself yawning and ready for bed.

Nightmares can disrupt sleep. Activities that increase the possibility of bad dreams include watching TV or eating just before bedtime. Excessive intake of caffeine and alcohol will also increase brain activity that can disturb your sleep.

There is no one formula for a good night's rest. These are just some pointers to get you started. But the most important thing to remember is - sleep is above all, mind over body. Relax your mind, don't worry about not being able to sleep, think of soothing images, and allow yourself to fall asleep naturally.

29/6/05

more than 7 hrs of gaming today. That game's story is just sooooo long. I don't even feel that I'm anywhere near completion.

really nothing much today. Game, then Jog. I didn't go to school today. They said they'll email me when they have retrieved the book from the achieve. But till now, they still haven't inform me. Sooooo slow. Sigh

Slice of Life

Managing Conflict and Anger

In this programme, we continue to look at some ways you can better manage conflict and anger at work and in your personal life.

Very often, when we're all knotted up in fury, we say things we don't mean. We use words we wouldn't normally use. So if someone is angry with you, and says things you don't agree with, try repeating the exact words that he is saying to you. This technique helps the other party think about what he's really saying. In a fit of anger, we often don't hear ourselves. Hearing his own words being repeated helps him think about how fair they really are and what kind of impact they're having. It also gives you the opportunity to examine a different point of view. What caused this person to say such things to you? Is there any truth to them?

When something goes wrong, we all feel inclined to blame someone else. Maybe it's survival instinct, I don't know, but it certainly does nothing to help your relationship survive. When disagreement happens, no one party is completely at fault. Take responsibility for your own feelings and the part you played in the situation. It's all about how you say it really - instead of saying "Do you know that you're wasting my time when you're late?", try saying "If you're going to be late, give me a call so I can do something useful while waiting for you."

When you get into an argument or disagreement, take yourself out of the situation and listen to both sides of the conflict as if you were the mediator or the counselor. Try to be sympathetic and non-judgemental, and look for a compromise. There usually is a way for both parties to be appeased. If you can listen and respond in this way you will bring peace and solutions to the conflict more quickly.

For example, in response to an employee's raise request, you might say, "On the one hand I understand that you really need the raise, and on the other hand I represent the company, whose funds are very scarce at this time. Is there a way that I can work on your compensation package that does not involve cash?" Here, the mediator's point of view can look for the creative compromise that takes into account the limits and the needs of both parties.

You may have heard that anger is essential in giving us the motivation and courage to make certain difficult changes. That may be true in some cases, but the damage to health that anger brings has been well-documented. So view your conquests over anger as health treatments you give yourself. It's like going to the gym or eating healthy foods - every time you divert your emotional state from anger, you're doing your body and mind a whole lot of good.

28/6/05

I went to teach again, from morning to afternoon. Ha, its fun to seee students blur blur look. But when they learn something and you see them succeed, its really a big achievement. But as usual, some will have to piss me off and I have to shout at them. Sigh, voice isn't at a very good condition.

Then, my friend S asked me to go ktv, haha and I agreed. With that kind of funny voice status, there are some notes that sounded damn bad. What the hell, just scream hahaa.

Thats it! ha

27/6/05

I'll just talk abt the highlight from now on haha. No body will be interested in how i wake up, how i eat, how i walk from here to there.

I went to WEstwinds early to help to carry the instruments to esplanade. The rehearsal was ok, not that hateful, not very enjoyable too. It seems like all the conductors like loud loud band sound. Well, thats ok by me because the hall is very big. Just hope i can have enough endurance. I need to buzz my mouthpiece everyday to maintain my chops. I'm still thinking abt the idea of leaving that place. Its a big waste actually. Staying in there will entitle me with great chance of more performance. If the only thing i hate is the loud sound, then I'll join them. Someone said," If you can't beat them, join them." I totally agree.

Slice of Life

Staying Empowered During Stressful Times

It happens to the best of us. No matter how adept we become in handling difficulties, solving problems, and staying optimistic, there will be times when the once brightly-lit road becomes foggy. We can't perform at 100% 100% of the time. Sometimes we trip, and occasionally, the mistake can feel so severe that it gives our previously rock-solid confidence a resounding crack. So what do we do when we start to feel lost? How can we remain empowered and positive through stressful times?

Well, firstly, many people think that asking for help or guidance is a sign of weakness. It's needy, they feel, something that the truly capable will never request, even though they may really need the support. This is a mistaken view. The giving of help need not be a simple handout. When we give, we also receive. And if we are open to the gift of help, we may yet gain the strength that we can use to help others in future. You don't have to be the victim in need of charity. Make it a partnership; something that benefits all parties involved either immediately or in the future.

When our confidence takes a beating, we may feel like withdrawing from society, from the communities in which we used to participate. But this simply strains your self-worth even more. So, even if you're in a particularly stressful state, continue to tap into any groups of people with whom you have positive, interactive relationships on an ongoing basis. Sometimes, when everybody expects you to shrivel and disappear, simply showing up will be enough to give you and your community that much-needed boost.

During nerve-racking times, it's also important that you remain real and true to yourself. It's easy to feel as though you've become half the person you used to be. But staying positive and re-connecting with your passions and life purpose will help a great deal. Stay centred and self-respecting, but be careful not to overdo it as to appear arrogant or delusional.

When we're at our lowest ebb, when we're feeling so deflated that we think we cannot possibly have anything more to give? we can very often surprise ourselves. Mountaineers, long-distance runners, and other endurance sportspeople know that even if it feels as if we have only one remaining breath, if that breath is spent giving ourselves one final push, we can often achieve the seemingly insurmountable. So give of yourself.

Do what you can to still help others. The joy of giving from the heart may just be enough to bridge that gap between stress and joy, and give you a whole new positive direction.

And remember to always turn towards love. Grow towards greatness. At the end of the day, there are only two choices - love or fear. If you can love without fear, you will never be beaten.

26/6/05

Band today is more enjoyable than usual. I kinda let myself numb my mind regarding loud sound (or noises). I sat in front of the trombones, directly. I couldn't care anymore. No ear plugs, just sitting there looking blindly while they blar their fanfare to the top of their trombone's voices. 3 conductors conducting us on the performance day. How to get use? Hmm i don't know. I'll pray.

Tomorrow is rehearsal in Esplanade. I don't know how we'll sound like. Maybe the hall can dahan our loud sound. I don't know.

I'm gonna do my best. I don't want to spoil the recording again. haha

25/6/05

Mum and dad so nice today. Bought so much cereals for me. So many different types! I think its 1 mth supply of cereals. Faint!! They always overdo things. haha.

game games gamesssss. 4 weeks more to play. I guess I'm too playful for my age haha but no one knows. I always look so black and dull. That, I don't mind. What for change myself to let people see? If I'm happy, then I'm happy. Don't have to be happy when i don't feel like it. Ha. Am I the New age guy? Hmm or Am I the old age type haha. Who cares. I like my life muhahaa.

At night band. They going to have election tomorrow. I'm going to reject everything if they try and saboh me. I purposely be so unfriendly and unsociable there so that people won't notice me. I really don't like that place anymore. Most prob I'm going to run away and change to a place thats friendlier. Somewhere where the people are of my age, and somewhere I can really enjoy. And perhaps have more friends that understands me. Ha.

24/6/05

I completed Shining Tears!! Thats fast. So, I'm starting another game called Suikoden 3. Its about the 108 heros in one of the ancient chinese legends. I don't know how long i'll take for this but hope its fast. Cuz i need to complete Suikoden 4 if I start on Suikoden 3. Its not good to stop halfway haha.

I went for Ntu's concert at night. Well, they sound so much like american bands in the NYP auditorium. I guess its the acoustic there that keeps their sound down. Or, then have really been playing American style. Hmm. Its really impressive how well NYP played. Alot better than many many Pre U bands. Ntu has a more mature sound of course. Their Danceries need more work though. Praise Jeruselum is alright for the competition I think.

I've been wondering why I'm not very compatible with many bands. Some, because of the conductor, Some because of the people, some because I couldn't keep up with their standards. I really don't know if there are any band thats suitable for my playing style. I've come to this conclusion that, I'm searching for one that will give me happiness after every practice. Doesn't need to be very high standard. MUsic making is suppose to be fun. If its totally stressful, its really not gonna make my playing good.

Well, Life is about stress isn't it?

Its good to see many good old friends in the concert hall. Its always a gathering time during those concerts. haha

23/6/05

Went to school first thing in the morning. Found out that Canteen A is under renovation. Saboh me, walk from North Spine to South Spine of the building to have my lunch. Then walk all the way back to north spine to the library to do my research. But sad to say, today isn't that productive. Sigh.

Today's bus ride was really dreamy. Sleep all the way to school and sleep all the way back to home. Then I jogged again. I've been maintaining 3 jogging days per week to prepare myself for the war in school next semester. Hee.

I went to the library today to borrow 2 japanese books too hee. Self learn= no stress and its enjoyable. Hopefully haha.

Support the Super star Show!! hee One of my friend from SAF band went in and one NTU accountancy graduate is inside too. Haha but i don't know that graduate.

22/6/05

Taught band today. Its just amazing how much stress a primary school student is experiencing today. A student don't want to attend practice even though her grandmother brought her to school already. Its all about work, but I don't know if its because of band work or school work. I want to help her but she didn't say anything. The only thing she said was," I want to go home." I just wonder if its my teacher who gave her too much stress. Sigh. Childhood, where are you?

Theres still no reply from my school regarding my subject registration. I really hope its going to be successful. I had sent emails to them to request for a class time slot. Its current full, but thats the only time i can take. sigh. Things isn't that successful, but i don't feel the anxiety. Hmm perhaps yes, a bit.

Tired after jog. Better go now.

Oh ya, went to ktv at night with my friend, S. There neighbour was damn irritating. SHe on the system so loud that even both of us could hear what she was singing. Dah, faint.

21/6/05

Today is the day where students from my school battle among one another with their fingers. Its the fight to get the time slots they want for their modules next sem. I too, took part in this tough battle. In the end, I was just 10 seconds slower than others in click, and the result....... I couldn't get one slot that I wanted. Now I'm one module short.

I emailed all officials that I know and request for assistance. Now, I'm weary and wasted. I could only wait for their replies. Theres nothing i can do now.

10 minutes ago, I received an email, rejecting my application to take more General electives. Sigh, even Enthusiatic is a wrong? I replied to that email and hope they'll reconsider. I'm not a bad student what. If I can't win with my intelligence, I'll fight with others with my perseverence in learning. To date, I have taken more modules than my friends. Please allow me to take the modules I want for this coming sem.

Sigh....

Here, I translated a song from chinese to english. Its a bit crappy. But make do.

"I locked myself up, leaving myself to the balcony
When the darkness enters the city, I’ll look at it with emptiness in my heart.
I can see the past, bits by bits, showing the love of you and me.

I switched on the TV, listening to all that’s being said.
Perhaps those stories could give me a reason.
I couldn’t give the love you want. Seeing the relationship turns bad, and people who see it fills with regrets.

Since I couldn’t give you the future, I’ll return you the present.
Ending it silently is also one of the ways.
When tears start to fall and pain starts to overflow, breaking up is another kind of understanding.

The last love I can give you is leaving you. I don’t want to have a sea dividing the bed.
Let the time bleach the scar in the relationship, and keep it in the left hand chest pocket.
The last love I can give you is leaving you. I don’t want a verbal confrontation so I don’t blame.
Love is like a bus stop, people come people go. My heart would then be a stop sign, with “waiting” written on it.

… I switched on the radio and listened to the failures of other people. The sorrow in the voices seems to mention the same pain.

Your dependence on me is still in my heart.
I couldn’t push it away so easily. I couldn’t walk away
Those who are faithful in a relationship would easily be hurt."

20/6/05

After 1 week break from teaching, today I went back teaching. Really miss the students there. Its good to feel that there are people who trust you, depend on you, and believe in you. Ha, can't find those kind of feeling anywhere else now. My favourite student there just likes to tease me haha. And the Tuba player there is superb!! Primary 5 haha, super sound and nice tone and articulation.

Then games, then evening jogging. More on strength training rather than endurance training this time. Enough of burning fats. I'll become bone if i burn my fat somemore. haha.

Slice of Life

Mistakes Make Perfect

Think about the people you admire for their exceptional skill and quality of work. They hardly seem to trip up. Even when they do, they invariably pick themselves right up with panache and every strand of hair in place. Blunders that seem to floor the common person simply slide off them.

Let's consider one of mankind's greatest fears - public speaking. We all have to do this in some form at some point in our lives. Notice how no one is truly flawless? There is always some uncomfortable pause, some ill-timed joke, an unsuitable word, or the mic falls off the collar. But why do some faux pas appear worse than others? Why do we sometimes begrudge someone for a slip-up, yet seem to forgive others' blunders almost instantly?

The secret is in the perception of mistakes.

Successful, respected people have mastered their flaws. They understand the role they play in creating uniqueness and motivating learning. Most importantly, they realise that the more you are affected by a mistake, the more likely you're going to make more. The worse you feel about your trip-up, the more likely your audience is going to remember it negatively.

So when you fall, get right back up! Acknowledge it, but make sure people know that you're not going to be cowered by it. Shrug it off and move on. Everyone knows that mistakes are a part of life - they're natural and spontaneous. They may be expecting a watertight performance, but if a little rain should fall, they're very likely to perhaps giggle a little then wipe themselves dry, IF you do the same.

The more we learn about mistakes, the more we understand that really, mistakes make perfect. There is simply no other way to learn. We're all familiar with coughing profusely on our first trip to the swimming pool, our scars from falls from bicycles, the stack of complaints from customers who today are our most loyal consumers.

When we make a mistake, focusing on it simply makes it worse. Consistently high-performing people are not perfect, nor are they as "high-performing" as you might think. You may not remember their boo-boos, but that's only because you were more engaged with how good they were after that.

The world is not without its flaws. There will be earthquakes, there will be suffering, and skyscrapers will fall. Junk mail, sour milk, botched-up presentations and big red F letters on our test papers. And supermodels will continue to fall off runways. Yet, the world moves on. And so can you.

19/6/05

Game in morning, went to band in the afternoon. Nothing enjoyable to talk about other than the choir joining us. We have 3 pieces that has choir parts. Those pieces sound amazingly great with the choir. But i'm just fedup with how the band sounds. They still can't adjust to the fact that there is a choir present. In the end, everything just cover the choir. I just don't know why no one knows the fact that shouting and loudness doesn't tell anything. You can't tell a story by shouting. Sigh. Minus points again. (Am I leaving?)

18/6/05

Today is not the usual cuz I didn't read any article in the morning. I went straight to games! Then went to Amk for Ktv with friend, S. The microphones they provide are damn good. High quality, makes my voice sound so powerful. And I really like the way I sang today. Though not perfect, it was an enjoyable session.

Night no band sia. Am I worried? Haha i don't know. COncert is coming soon.

17/6/05

1 and a halve months to starting of school. Counting down.

Usual usual day again. Nose and throat hasn't been good these few days but, that wouldn't stop me from jogging. After the jog, the nose feels good, the throat feels ok too. I guess it helps. But when night comes, its terrible haha. Well, I'll bother about it in the night then.

Slice of life

Enthusiasm It's often said that in any given enterprise, perseverance is key to success. The premise is that if you do not give up, you'll eventually get to taste the fruits of your industry.

That may be true, but what's going to keep you going? What's going to keep your machine well-oiled and revved-up?

Henry Ford said, "You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the spark in your eye, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of your will and your energy to execute your ideas."

So how enthused are you in your endeavours? Is keeping up the pace requiring more brute force and mental strength instead? How long will that last?

Imagine being firmly committed to your deepest ambitions. Imagine feeling energetic and enthusiastic about your relationships, career, and all the things you want. Envision a future as bright and promising as any you have ever imagined. Imagine working and playing and not knowing the difference.

Enthusiastic people are inspired by great ideas. However, they live and thrive on action.

So how can you become more enthusiastic about the things you do that can bring you more joy and success?
Well you can start by searching your soul. We all have a passion for something. And that passion is what fuels our enthusiasm.

What dreams and aspirations are you committed to achieving during your lifetime? In which areas of your life are you committed to becoming exceptional? What are the biggest obstacles that are holding you back from what you want? What could you do to turn your obstacles into advantages?

With stronger enthusiasm, you will find a positive energy pulling you toward what you want to achieve. Then act on your ideas with confidence. As Henry David Thoreau said, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

16/6/05

Article, Game, vcd, jog, window shop with mum. Its as short as that.

Well, the game is going to be very very long. The levelling system seems endless. The equipment system is somewhat the same as Diablo with str, int, dex, con as requirements, and skill points to add to skills.

I collected my specs. No more the "perverted" look as one of my friend told me. But i don't know if my new look can trigger off any thoughts again haha. Anyway, I didn't know that wearing specs can be such a comfortable thing. I think the new specs have some kind of stick-to-your-head device haha. It really fits nicely to the head and follows you wherever you turn. Unlike my previous one, its just so comfortable haha.

Thats all.

SLice of life

Your Reaction to Anger and Criticism

It's unavoidable. Unless you can live under a rock for the rest of your life, you will encounter people who will be angry with you, criticize you, or treat you with spite or disdain. When this happens, how do you react? Especially when the facts of the case show that the aggression was uncalled for?

Let's say you enter a restaurant expecting great service and a tasty meal. The waiter or waitress is snarly and literally throws the food on the table. You ask for a glass of water to go with the meal and they act as though you had asked for something impossible.

Our first reaction is to be nasty in return; "and they can forget about the tip too!".

But do we know if they were intentionally mean? Perhaps they have just been informed a loved one is seriously ill and in a hospital, or they haven't the money to pay their rent, or they have a severe headache. This list could go on endlessly.

What about when you're striving to do your best job, and someone highlights a trivial flaw? Or a mistake that wasn't even your doing? Do you feel an undeserved sting? Do you defend yourself profusely? Do you think to yourself "If this person only knew the half of it!"

The problem we face is that we have no way of knowing what the other person is going through at that point in their life. And this refers both to the other person as well as us. Even the finest people are sometimes so overwhelmed by circumstances they act rashly, or were simply not in full control at the time.

"What if that person was truly being unkind?" you ask. "What if he or she had genuine intention to hurt?"
Well most of the time, a person's meanness and arrogance stem from their own insecurity or fears; their own weakness of character which caused them to react in a rash and irresponsible way, often without really giving the case much thought. Most antagonists simply want to push your hot buttons and chuckle inside as they watch you explode.

So spare yourself the mud slinging. Let not your heart be burdened by words that have no power the moment you decide to give them no meaning.

15/6/05

Seems like my days are becoming a routine. Work, games, eat, sleep. Whats new? hmm

I finally completed castlevania. Now onto another game. THis time, its Shining Tears! Haha. I bet this game will be super long. Maybe I'll take 3 weeks. Its kinda fun hee. Different from its predecessor. Its a real-time combat system compared to the turn-based one in Shining Force. Fun fun.

hmm. I guess thats all that have happened today.

Today marks the day where I will no longer have dry lips!! haha. *clap clap clap*

FLu flu isn't good. My voice sounds blocked. Can't sing even if i want to. My friend asked me to go ktv but I can't. I don't want to kill chickens in the room. After watching the channel U show, Absolute Superstar, I think my level of singing is just nothing to them. I guess I better don't dream of singing like a star haha. I'll just be myself haha. Crazy and fun in ktvs muahhaa. How to open voice???? Sigh haha. Maybe i'll do some search on the web.

Slice of Life

Building Self Esteem and Confidence

Building self esteem and confidence is a process that involves making changes. And making changes requires time and energy. So the first step towards a healthier sense of self-worth is to improve your energy level.
To do this, make sure that you have a nourishing diet, sleep well, exercise regularly, and make time to relax, enjoy yourself and be with the people you love. Develop a kind of structure or schedule so that these things are built into your daily life. No matter how busy you are, make time for them.

Building self esteem and confidence hinges on breaking old habits and developing new, productive ones. A key habit that needs to be shattered is persistent negative thinking. For some of us, these thoughts are so interwoven into the fabric of our minds that we assume that they are normal - but they are not! Learn how to acknowledge and deal with your inner critic.

Also, stop playing The Blame Game. Stop judging yourself and other people in your life for what has happened to you in the past. Blame serves no purpose other than to breed bitterness and resentment. This wastes a lot of time and energy that you could use in more productive ways. Besides, people do what they think is best at the time, the same way you do. And we all make mistakes. So learn to forgive yourself and others for past mistakes.

Learn how to reconcile, resolve and accept what has happened in the past and know that it has made you a stronger person. Acknowledge your fears and find out what's really behind them. Many of your fears are likely to be groundless; it is the thinking, attitudes and beliefs that cause much of the unnecessary fear. Fear is often a disguise for your lack of belief in yourself and your judgements.

Once you've started making these changes to build your self-esteem, commit to them! Even if you manage to use just one of the examples I've suggested, it will begin to make a difference to your level of self esteem. Know that you have value, regardless of what has happened before

14/6/05

hmm highlight of the day? Hmm. Started a new game called Castlevania on PS2. Played for quite a long time, should be able to complete it by tomorrow. Then went jogging even though i don't feel quite good. Well, felt good after jogging but... nose started running, and started coughing haha. HOpe tomorrow won't get fever.

At night!! Went out with mum shopping in Bishan. I can't believe it man, she buy for me so many types of cereals that I think i can't even finish it within a month. haha so many varieties too. I'm gonna have a healthy life!! Hopefully.

During dinner time, I was surprised that my dad asked me if i know how to drink. Hmm I just got this feeling that I might be a better drinker than him haha. He said he can't even stand a pint of beer. I don't like beer anyway. Beer bellly, i don't want. I told them about my dream house too haha.

Really tired, gonna sleep.

SLice of Life

Developing an Attractive Attitude

In a previous programme, we talked about how a positive and energy-giving life attitude is the most important quality we should look for in a life partner. However, as we get ready to seek our future partners, we often neglect our own attitude towards our own lives.

For just as we increasingly understand the value of a happy and fulfilled disposition in a life mate, they are also waking up to this fact. They are also looking for the same qualities in us.

How you feel about your life now as a single person and the possibility that you might stay single, affects how you come across to others. If you hate your life, think that being in a relationship is the only way to live, and look towards a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak, believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.

Not only is it unattractive, this kind of mentality makes you feel insecure, needy and desperate. This frame of mind clouds your judgement when it comes to sorting through spousal possibilities. If the thought of leading a single's life scares you, then you're very likely to build most of your life towards that goal of finding a mate. A mission that can become so consuming that you feel compelled to throw yourself at the first person who shows a bit of interest in you. With that kind of compulsion, how can you make a good judgement? You'll very likely scare off the other person too!

So how do you stay centred and clear-headed?

Well, begin by thinking about how you can improve your life as a single. What are the talents you can hone and sharpen? Could you cultivate more meaningful friendships? How can you improve your mind and body, naturally, so you can feel better about yourself?

Stop thinking about being in a relationship. That possibility is not definite for anybody. Instead, if you knew, right now, that you were going to spend the rest of your life as a single, what would you need to do so that you would have an interesting and vital life? You know, love is a funny thing, people say, you can search for it your whole life and not find it, yet, the moment you stop looking for it, it can literally bump into you on the street. So let it go, be good to yourself, develop a fulfilling and happy relationship with yourself and you'll find that more doors will open that way.

The balance you feel and your satisfaction with what you have will be exciting and attractive to others.

13/6/05

Monday, started with work again. THen games!!! I rushed my grandia extreme and completed it at about 4 plus. THe last boss was just a crappy guy. No challenge at all haha. Perhaps my level was too high. There, I can start another game tomorrow.

After the game, I went to walk at compass point. The 159 bus ride is really really long haha. took about 45mins there. I made up my mind to go there because I've talked about it since my last holiday. If i don't go today, i don't know when i can go. Its my second time there.

When I went back, something just went into my mind again. The incident was like this. I took 159 and alighted halfway to change to another bus 73, thinking that I would reach home faster. But, it turn out that the time taken was bad because of the waiting time for 73. The waiting time was 15 mins. Wrong choice? SHould I have been more patient on 159?

Something to thinking about here is that, in life, there are many situations we face that need us to make decisions. Sometimes, when we thinking that abandoning this and adopting that would give a more desirable effect, it often gives a negative change. If I was more patient, I could have enjoyed 159's aircon and see more sceneries rather than waiting at a bus stop sweating. Have you guys face this kind of situations before? Thinking that a change would be a better but realised that not changing would be better.

Slice of Life

The Most Important Quality in a Life Partner

If I were to ask you "What's the most important quality that you seek in a life partner?", what would come to your mind?

If recent surveys are anything to go by, women generally value a sense of humour, a caring nature, and sensitivity to her feelings and needs. For men, what comes up tops usually is a gentle nature, good looks, and yes, a sense of humour. Studies have shown that for men though, they perceive "a sense of humour" not as having the ability to make them laugh, but being able to understand and be amused by their jokes. A fundamental difference in the sexes there? Perhaps, but that's a topic for another discussion.

So, back to the most important quality you seek in a life partner. What have you come up with? If you're like most of us, you would either think of a external quality like a smooth complexion or a personality trait, like kindness or being good with children.

But how about "happy and fulfilled with an exciting life"?

Looks will fade, and a person with a great sense of humour may not necessarily have the strength of character to endure life's challenges. So think about it - wouldn't you rather spend the rest of your life with someone who is independent, happy and with an outlook on life that is enriching, stimulating, and vibrant?

I don't know about you, but I know quite a number of people whom you would not give a second glance at on the street, but the moment they enter a room, they draw the attention of everyone with their lively stride, beaming faces and exuberant talk.

That's the most important quality I'd seek in a life partner. Someone who is full of life and energy, a shining beacon through life's dark moments, who can still make me laugh when the terrain gets bumpy. Someone who is enterprising, innovative and always surprising. Someone I can know and love for years and still fall for every day.

An aspect that we often overlook in our search for a mate is his or her attitude towards life. His or her values and convictions. Can they withstand the test of time? The trials of living together?

Is it time you re-examined your criteria for a life partner?

"Today's slice of life is just soooo right."

12/6/05

Why do I always fall sick so easily? Its only that people cough and sneeze on the buses. I can't even defend myself against those little actions done by others. I know its coming. Tomorrow I'll get the full effects. Sian sian. CAn't even enjoy the little holiday.

The main thing today, Westwind. I starting to get sick playing there. People's mind there just couldn't think of making good music. I hear phrases like," wa loud, shiok". This is really irritating. One important advice to all my friends, including non bandmembers. Don't let certificates get into your mind. It doesn't mean that you are always correct even when you are sooooooo qualified. Everyone can learn from everyone. Even me, I'm learning from Primary school kids. There are things that they say or do that makes me think," so, this can be done in this way." You will be amazed by how much kids can teach you.

Whatever in life, theres always many ways to do a thing. And its important to see the different perspective of things. Sticking to one side just allows you to be better and stronger in the thought for that area. What about other areas? What about other ideas? Can you combine them to make a new idea?

I'm really getting sick of the way some people think about playing music there. And... why must the percussion be so loud?? And, even if we have just gotten into a new room with new acoustics, musicians should adopt and adjust their playing immediately. Whats the point of going in and play your lungs out and hurt your ears? I'm really disappointed with the way music schools examine the candidates. You can get certificates easily by putting time and just asking a tutor to guide you. But how about the thinking of music? How about the humble heart inside? How about the test whether the person can play in an ensemble? Disappointed. They could have one test that test whether a person is a grade X musician in ensemble or not. And seperated another one for solo playing.

Now my ears are painful, my throat is sore. I'm mostly going to go off from Westwind after this important concert.... if this concert flops. Well, someone will be coming in to take over me too. My partner in WW found someone who wants to come in. Then.... let that band play the loudest they want. I'm not going to bother. Not going to risk my health and mind sufferring playing there. Well, i guess that person will be happy about my departure.

11/6/05

School meeting!! Beep beep. Another fruitful discussion. But they are going to fly for holidays, leaving me alone working haha. Well, i don't mind.

After the meeting, my friend and I went to Jurong IMM to shop. He wants to find a Korean drama. We went into a $2 shop there. Its a damn big place!! Lots of japanese products. We actually went to looking at the japanese hiragana and try to make out what its talking about. Its damn hilarious, especially when they use katagana to translate english words, we'll go "orrrrrrrrrh" when we know what its trying to say.

I took a bus home from Jurong. A long trip but luckily, guang liang's songs accompanied me throughout.

Then I went for a hair cut. The weather is really unbearable. I have to ask the barber to cut really really thin. Well, he did. And its damn nice.... at least to me. I'm gonna ask him to cut for me everytime i go there.

I found out yesterday that Singing for a record is really not easy. It requires alot of things. Mood, voice texture, rythmn, careful movement between notes, and pitching. Often, you'll make some mistakes somewhere. What I did yesterday was to record myself. After listening, I went," eeks". Do i really sound that bad? Gotta improve. I was thinking to record my own singing and post it in this blog haha. Can you imagine how bad its gonna sound? Now I know that my friend could really sing so well. He showed me his own recording 4 years ago and I was so picky and i gave some comments for him to improve. BUt, he was already so good. I'm not worthy.

When i was shopping around, I saw some things that reminds me of another person. I wonder why such things comes. I'm not suppose to feel that but I just did. Not right not right. no no no stoppie hee

10/6/05

Reading in the morning seems to be a routine already. I actually sent an email to my FYP professor to update him on our group's progress. Well, he actually called me within 5 mins. That actually shocked me haha. Well, he just don't want the email to affect the efficiency of the communication. Well, thats very nice of him. Its damn lucky that We got him as our supervisor.

In the afternoon, its KTV time!! I went with one of my favourite ktv kaki. He always sing ladies song one. So me and him won't have to snatch songs. I find my voice range slightly higher but still not enough to deal with Guang Liang's songs nicely. Somehow I just feel that theres something lacking in my singing. Where is the feel? ahhhh haha. But I found some nice songs that is good for big group haha. Anyway I gotta train more for my singing haha.

I just got this strange feeling regarding something. Its really an odd feeling. Cannot progress, cannot retreat. But things aren't that clear anyway. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Laalaaa.

I gotta go school for meeting tomorrow. lala

9/6/05

So many things happened today. Hmm let me recollect my memories first.

Woke up in the morning to read a final article before the discussion on Sat (supposed to be friday but someone couldn't make it). After that, it was shopping!! Nah, just went Toa Payoh central to get my lip balm, a mouth rinsing liquid (listerine). Oh ya, I borrowed a book for me to continue learning the jap language. So what happens to the novel? Hmm, I intend to read both books at the same time. When I'm bored with one, I change to another one.

I finally did it! I went to fish for a new spec. I don't know if its the most suitable for me but I seem to like it. However, my mum didn't like that design. Half frame, silver colour. The lens are not totally rectangle but near to it. Not a very long one. Haha. Crazy me. I wonder how my friends would react to my new naive look.

Then went back to play my game, grandia extreme. Aiming to complete it by end of next week. SHould be able to haha.

At night, me and my mum went to Courts in Toa Payoh to search for a new kettle. The current one is really rusting. But there was no stock. So we flew down to Bishan to see if theres any luck. We found it!! Ah, nothing exciting haha. And my mum just spend so much on vcds. Omg. haha.

Oh ya, forgotten to mention that I jogged in the evening before dinner. Same distance again.

Slice of Life

Coincidence or Intuition?

Let's say you get an idea to do something - like read a certain book. It just pops into your head for no apparent reason. You wonder why it happened and then forget about it. Later that day at work, a colleague casually mentions that book, talking about how it helped him and so on. You dismiss it again because you think "I'll read it at a later time."

A few days later, you're at a doctor's appointment and you're flipping through a magazine. You see a review for that same book. By now you're thinking "Am I going mad? Is this a coincidence? It must be a coincidence."
Later, as you step out of the clinic and onto the street, that very book falls out of the sky and hits you on the head.

No, that would be too big a hint. And will most probably never happen. But the first three "encounters" with the book in some form has got to get your attention.

When things like that happen to us, most of us brush it off as coincidence, when we really should be taking the hint. Intuition hits - you get an inspiration or an idea to do something and you get bombarded left and right with all of these situations that don't seem to have any connection. Until you take a closer look and then you see. That one thing linking all of them. The thing that's pointing you in a new direction.

Look back on some of your past experiences in life. I am sure that there were several times where things happened to you for no apparent reason. These events either led to other events or were major turning points in your life that didn't match up anywhere else. They didn't seem to fit in to what you were doing at the time. But looking back, they fit in perfectly. It's just that you couldn't see it at the time.

When things happen without any obvious reason, remember that there's something you need to pay attention to. There's always a reason, it's just that you can't see it while it's happening. There's an unseen force that's always pointing you in the right direction whether you notice it or not. If you're religious, call it a sign from God. If you're not, call it intuition, gut feeling, or whatever. If you choose to look out for them, you will notice them. And those unreal experiences, those strange "coincidences" - things happening by 'chance' are usually a push in the direction you want - or didn't know you wanted - to go. Trust your heart and follow the flow.

8/6/05

Fury rise. There will always be some students who are just so difficult to handle. Haha Sometimes when I get angry, I really don't know how to scold them. So I acted angry. What I did was to sit there, looking black, and kept my mouth shut. It works most of the time. When I'm really really burnt, I'll take some things to throw on the floor. It works even better. Today I did it 2 times, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, 2 different batch of people. I wonder where I got this behavior from, haha must be from someone from the SAF band. The first time, I threw a marker, the second time, a kid took a wooden rod and fool with me, so it went to the floor too.

Sometimes, I really have to act angry, but then those kids will start to tell jokes and laugh in a very contagious way. You can't endure the urge to break into laughter. Anyway, I don't think i'll be throwing things that often. Won't work if it happens everytime.

Sometimes, I really wonder if the statement-- it doesn't matter if you are good at doing something, its the passion thats important. Without passion, theres no energy. If theres no energy, theres no performance. The way I saw my collegue teach made me think of that statement. I just wonder who's lacking passion and who's lacking skill. Me?

When I reach home, i just played games until crazy. Somehow, I feel something is lacking. I guess i need to watch vcd. Watching vcd allows me to feel as though i'm travelling to another place to experience what the people in the show are experience.

Slice of Life


Don't Compare

In our daily interaction with others, we're either consciously or subconsciously sizing each other up. Judging, assessing, measuring - their looks, their demeanour, their abilities, their intelligence, how happy they are. It's a survival instinct I suppose, when knowing how competent the other players are gives you clues about how to play the game.

However, this becomes self-defeating when we begin to compare ourselves with others. When we do this, we give away a small part of our uniqueness, taking away from our own gifts and talents.

No other person has our unique qualities. No one else has ever gone through the exact same circumstances or has had the precise physical characteristics or thoughts we have.

It is when we are envious of others and what they possess that we do the greatest damage to ourselves. If we only knew what their thoughts were and what they had gone through to achieve their success it is unlikely we would want anything to do with it.

Wise persons of the ages have stated that if all people in the whole world were to dump their problems in one pile and we were to go through that pile, we would be extremely happy to settle for our own problems.
We just don't know what the other person feels until we have been in his shoes. What does he think and why does he think that way? What circumstances has he been through? What obstacles has he had to overcome to achieve whatever it is that he has achieved?

When we can truthfully answer those questions we can know how the other person feels and what has been required of him. The one thing we can know is our own thoughts and feelings, the circumstances we have allowed to bring us to our current position in life, and the choices we have made to bring us to where we are.
This allows us to honour others without comparing ourselves to them.

7/6/05

A scary morning. Mum and dad had been poisoned by a can of sardines. Vomiting and diarrhoea. I didn't know sardines can poison people. My mum cooked the sardines nicely yesterday, and I ate them too but I didn't get poisoned. How do we know its the sardines? My dad went to see a doc and he said sardines can poison people. No more sardines for my family haha. Luckily they are ok now. The doc is damn funny. He asked my father to drink 100plus to regain energy.

I managed to finish reading a law case and halfway through an article. I wonder why those writers have to write long long long sentences. Made my head turn then turn and turn. I couldn't resist from playing my Grandia extreme, so I stopped after 2 hrs of reading.

In the evening, I have this urge of going to the Toa Payoh garden again. I actually wanted to rest my body before i jog again tomorrow, but then, haha I jogged today. The same route, the same distance. Great weather as usual, just a slight drizzle. Hope I don't go back to my bony self haha. Eat more!!

Slice of Life
Step Out!

Everyone wants a better life, right? We all want more health, more love, more wisdom, more money, our own successful business, our own book or CD, our own villa by the sea. Sure, we want these things, but how many of us actually step out and try to make our dreams happen?

Most people think about achieving more success but the idea dies right where it was born. Ask anyone and they'll tell you they want bigger, better things, but day after day they go through the motions in a job that gives them no joy. Why?

Because although most people can dream, they do not believe their dreams can actually come true. Success and rags-to-riches stories are in their face to convince them otherwise, but it seems the eyes are looking, but they don't really see. Somehow, most of us have been conditioned to think that our present lot is the best we're ever going to have, and venturing out is dangerous - "what if I lose money?", "what if nobody buys my book?", "what if my heart gets broken again?".

My question is - so what? As Helen Keller once said "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." Do you really want to sit at that desk ten hours a day, typing till your wrists and back ache? Do you really want to continue accepting lowly assignments from a supervisor who bears a grudge against you? Do you really want to carry your talents and love to the grave?

Every one of us possesses a skill that is valuable. Almost any hobby can be turned into a business. And if you note every idea that pops into your head, no matter how common or silly at the time, you'll realize that if you had the gumption to develop them, you could be the next entrepreneur du jour!

Opportunities are out there. Even if you think you haven't a shred of talent, which I doubt, simple hard work and determination to succeed will get you places you never dreamed you could reach. But before all that can happen, you must make up your mind to step out and grab your share of life.

It may seem frightening to step out. But this fear lasts only a while. The comfort of conformity soon pales in comparison to the power, passion and excitement that comes with any bold, new, purposeful action.

Absorb the wisdom of one of the most powerful and richest women in entertainment, Oprah Winfrey, who said "Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life."

So step out today and run toward your best - live your life now.

6/6/05

Good day. I've got energy haha. It has been one of those rare days where I have energy to do all the things i want to do. In the morning, I went to the school to teach band. I'm really enjoying the teaching session. My heart is really pumping in the right direction. I''m being a friend-teacher to those students. I really don't like to scold students who are trying. Those who have no attention span will get scolding from me. Haha. Its really an achievement when you see them knowing how to play those pieces. Educating principle number 1 - Create a non-hostile environment to enhance the learning progress. Thats proven and i believe in it.

In the afternoon, I went to Bugis with S to shop. I spent too much again!! 3 t-shirts and 2 shirts. My next aim, is to get a new specs. Its time to get my business look. Regarding the hairstyle, hmm I really don't know how haha. Don't care about it.

In the evening, I went jogging, 1 round around Toa Payoh. From my house to braddell MRT station then to Toa Payoh central then back to my house. On the way, I pass by Toa Payoh Park. Its really a very very very nice place!! All Lovers, Lesbians, and gays(people need to accept that these people exist in the society) should just go there to walk. The weather was great today too, so I went in to jog and admire the scenery there. Beautiful paradise!. Open ground, and the trees blocked the nearby tall buildings to make the place as though theres no buildings around. The wooden planks that form the walkway let us get nearer to nature. There are also trees that bent their trunks towards the pond as though they are drinking water. Can say more, go see yourself.

5/6/05

Talking about hardworking, maybe i am one haha. Done another article today. Its in preparation of the meeting next friday. Haha, don't know why, seems like I've started to get used to having something hanging left undone like this FYP.

My mind is as relaxed as the songs in Guang Liang's CD. Music Therapy. I'm no more the stuck up black face idiot. Hmm at least for this holiday. I never go out without music.

Went for band in the afternoon. Wow, I find myself playing better and better. I guess its because the concert is coming. Gonna play my best but.... i still can't do the high notes jump. I'm just so panick. Its the Euphonium solo piece, but I'm not playing the solo of course. I'm just a divisi in one of the solo parts. The soloist is Adam Fray. The jump of the notes is one octave, Do, Fa, Do'. really great jump for me. I'll train until i get it. Not to disgrace myself and the band.

At night, parents asked me out for a buffet dinner to celebrate my good results. Its Sakura!! I ate so much dessert haha. I guess i'm going to grow more. eeks.

Come to think of it, I live in my own world. When I go out, my world is surrounded by music from my mp3 player. I could care less about whats happening around me. I find the musical kind of world a more peaceful and enjoyable world. No quarrels, no arguments, no loud noises. Peace and harmony of music. No competition. Only the perfect blend of chords and texture. Cool? Yeah

4/6/05

Settled another article today. Someone said i like to work. I guess I made myself enjoy working. Remember the Guiness advertisement? If you can't change the environment to suit you, then change yourself to suit it. Its the blend and harmony rather than the repelling and opposing combination of you and the environment.

I guess to be specific, I really like singing and playing music. I'm not experts in them but then its the true inner love for those.

I spent alot of time on games as usual. Now is Singapore sales and I really wonder why I'm still staying at home hhaa.

Went for band in the evening. Find my air support improved. I guess its the training I receive when I was trying to teach those primary school kids how to breathe correctly.

Dah. On to my Utopia now.

3/6/05

Today stayed home the whole day. First is to settle my time table, then settle the game, YS6 (finally completed it). Then continued the day with Grandia Extreme. I went jogging after that.

When I'm playing Utopia (online game), S msged me out for a drink. Now I'm going out haha, so this is a short entry hee.

Ah now I'm back from the drink. Its 1am now argh haha. S had a meeting just now so he came quite late. I went to the outdoor stage of Esplanade and saw this female group singing. Sounds very good. They are performing tomorrow and sunday too. Those who wants to catch them must go. They are selling this CD called The Gutsy Girls too. Look out for it.

After they ended their performance, then another group performed at another place near the stage. Its an all men group. "Its an Ochestra, Its Pop, Its stunts!" Is what they say. Theres one Violin, one electric guitar, one bass guitar and one drum set player. They are all on those strings that can make them "fly". So, they are all flipping and "flying" while they play those pieces. Its really amazing music because Classical are made in pop style. Its really a fun music.

When S came, we tried to enter Harry's but it was too crowded. Then we walked from esplanade to Suntec, trying to find a seven eleven, but it was closed for stock take, then we walked to the seven eleven at funan, and purchased some drinks. Then we walked from there to the supreme court, the to VCH, then back to Esplanade again, just because we wanted to find somewhere nice to settle down for the drink. Haha a super long walk.

Time to sleep.

Slice of Life

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is more prevalent than some people would believe. In extreme cases, the anxiety is so great that the person simply retreats or crumbles into an uneasy mess. To these people, the seemingly common and simple task of interacting with a stranger can be nerve-racking. These people are often frustrated because they are capable of success but are defeated by their fear of rejection. They have no problems being great friends with one or two people but are unable to widen their circle because they can't seem to make new acquaintances comfortably. Their fear of rejection has thus "hermitized" their lives, leaving them mediocre and monotonous, with little or no desire to make things better.

So what can you do if you often face this kind of fear?

First of all, imagine the worst case scenario. Run it through in your mind. At this stage, forget about how you're going to handle rejection. Just think about the worst that could realistically happen. Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.

Next, decide what rejection means. When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as - "People dislike me", "I am a failure", "I am not worthy of their approval", "I am not good enough", and so on.

These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the thing is, only you can choose what rejection means for you. Other people can never make you feel as bad as you yourself can. So, if it's your feelings, your life, your choice, why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as - "The other person is probably feeling down, is insecure about something, or is preoccupied with a problem at the moment", or "I am the only person who's responsible for my own happiness, so I will not allow someone else to take charge". What about "How can I do better next time?" or "At the end of the day, I know that I am loved for who I am, by the people who do matter to me". Who knows, maybe you are the one making the other person nervous. Now wouldn't that be ironic?

Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak; that is only the tip of the iceberg. Ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states. The more you do this, that is, laugh at rejection in the face and continue to make your life better, the more comfortable you will be around people. Over time, you'll find that the barriers to your success and happiness weren't so overbearing after all.

2/6/05

Woke up early today to catch up with my YS 6 (PS2 game). Then, went to school at 11am for FYP meeting. Today is really a fruitful meeting where we cleared our doubts on the articles. FYP discussion haven't be as fun before. Today is the happiest one.

After that, I went to Jurong Point to slack around with my friend, W. We went to the arcade to play this percussion game but i can't remember the name. Its the japanese drum game. Its damn fun hee. I want to play it again some day and try higher level hee. Practice makes perfect!

I've energy hee. I guess thats all for today. I need to get back to my utopia game hee.

1/6/05

The day started with the bus journey to the school where i teach band. I actually taught them about compressing air inside the body. They just say,"sooooo chiem." They really like to bully me haha. One of them told me a really cold joke. But I just can't remember haha.

After that, I went to the library to return the book I finished yesterday and borrowed another book. It is written by John Lescroart. Anyone who likes law court scenes must read his book.

In the evening, I watched the new cartoon with my friend, S. He bought so many things and those really cost a bomb. But then when i look at the suits and business wears, I really cannot imagine how i would look in them. Damn nice. Oh ya, that cartoon is damn crazy and funny. Its the one with a lion, giraffe, hippo, and the zebra. Recommended if you wanna watch. Go to the cinema to watch with all the audience. Its more fun to laugh with them.

I can't remember what i wanted to type.